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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've just run a half marathon and im fecking tired

175 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 18:25

DH brought the kids ds 3 and dd 1. They watched at the finish line with Bil and then we went for food after the run. I'm super tired. We got the train home, then he sorts out dinner for the kids. Smashing, however I equally sort fire out, change dd into pj's and pop to bed. Then go for a bath. Whilst in the bath, dd starts wailing, so I shout to dh to get her. He then rants that he's tired etc and can't I help. Jeez!! I'm in the bath and I've just run 13.1 miles!!!!!!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/10/2018 19:57

People are cross because you have shown absolutely no insight into how difficult it is to manage small children at a race and seem unwilling to listen to posters who do have insight into it.

He was there for half an hour - with his brother - and then they went to the pub! He was hardly working hard!

Antigon · 14/10/2018 19:58

Family’ money is earned by someone and that can be tiring too.

Larry As OP got tired by earning the childcare money AND tired from running the half- marathon, while her H had 5 child-free nights, I'd say she has more than earned her bath, wouldn't you?

Excited101 · 14/10/2018 19:58

You do know that people pay an entrance fee to run for charity don’t you? I ran a half today too, I worked hard to raise just under £500 for charity, I also paid £45 to enter the race.

Some of these attitudes are disgusting.

RainbowBriteRules · 14/10/2018 19:58

I give up.

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 19:58

Stay in the bath OP, your muscles will thank you for it later! Either folk haven't picked up on your posts regarding DH working away & you having to balance the kids & working, or we have entered that strange vortex whereby a father parenting his own children is something to be shouted from the rooftops. It isn't, btw. I can guarantee if you were moaning about having the children whilst he pursued a hobby you'd get slated.

I say well done. I don't run (translates to CAN'T - picture Phoebe from Friends & you get the idea) so i'm in awe of anybody who does marathons.

Antigon · 14/10/2018 20:00

Of course working away can be full on

Not as full on as having sole care of a 1yo baby and a 3yo.

I betI know who's getting a full night's sleep, and it's not the H!

AnonaMouse1 · 14/10/2018 20:01

Antigon he didn't have 'sole care' his brother was there!!!

Antigon · 14/10/2018 20:02

Anona, I meant OP has sole care of DC 5 nights a week! :)

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:04

Are people missing the fact that OP works as well as taking care of the children during the week??? Or are we next going to see 'but she only works 12 hours'?

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 20:09

Yay to the peeps that get it & boo to the ones that don't! I just wanted a bath, a nice bubble bath before dp disappears tomorrow for another week away. It was tough, the Manchester half marathon, but I loved it! Especially the large glass of wine at the end (in the pub with dp, bil & kids!)

OP posts:
shitholiday2018 · 14/10/2018 20:11

I’m a running widow too. Don’t polish your halo, you CHOSE to run it, for your own reasons, with charity on the side. It’s a very selfish hobby and you need to appreciate the work that goes into accommodating that by your partner and family. It’s your hobby, not ours, we get no benefit so don’t expect everyone to suddenly run around after you after you’ve had your fun. I pick up an awful lot of slack for training runs and races, I don’t mind being supportive but don’t fucking tell me you’re tired afterwards (no shit), don’t minimise my parenting fatigue (it’s real, sole parenting small kids isn’t a breeze, especially day on day, week on week) and don’t expect me to continue to be sole parent while you lie in a bath. Grow up. Or get another hobby.

My husband used to be like this. He has learned to have his fun, not to whinge about being tired and to be hugely appreciative of the freedom he gets to pursue his hobby, I suggest you do likewise.

Needallthesleep · 14/10/2018 20:12

I'm with your DH. My DH ran a half marathon today. It was far tougher for me to deal with the nine month old than to run the 13.1 miles. I would have much rather run the race. He is putting her to bed now to give me a rest.

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:13

oneandoneontheway shit you best tell DH to get his arse into another job that doesn't involve you having to sole parent all week. How bloody dare you take a few hours out to unwind after all that parenting Hmm

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:14

Those berating OP for having a hobby (selfish beast) i hope none of you have one that requires leaving your children. Selfish, selfish parenting if you do...

RainbowBriteRules · 14/10/2018 20:16

Pissedoff I waited until the kids were old enough so I could go to the gym around them. No way would I have had a hobby or done hours and hours of training runs while they were 3 and 1.

larrygrylls · 14/10/2018 20:18

Why do people assume working away is a breeze? I mean it could be but it could be hell. Totally depends on the job and where etc.

I don’t know why the hobby of running has become so conflated with fund raising. Far more admirable are the people who give time and money quietly charity than those who take hours out of their week to train to run a few miles normally quite slowly and raise a few hundred quid.

Running is no more admirable than any other hobby.

Havaina · 14/10/2018 20:20

@shitholiday2018

don’t minimise my parenting fatigue (it’s real, sole parenting small kids isn’t a breeze, especially day on day, week on week) and don’t expect me to continue to be sole parent while you lie in a bath. Grow up. Or get another hobby.

OP IS the sole parent 5 days a week, you numpty. She's not your DH! Grow up!

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:20

Would you like a cloth to polish that halo a bit shinier?

I have a 6 year old & a 15 week old...i do training for martial arts once a week for two hours & have a girly meet up once a month...for hours, shock horror. I either arrange child care or DP has the kids. Being a martyr & staying home under some pretence of it being selfish to have time away from your family might work for some, each to their own

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:22

Oh & as for this whole 'working away is not always easier' bullshit....bet i can guess spot on which parent can take themself to bed 5 nights a week without giving a second thought to being able to hear the kids if they stir.

Yeah, parenting for 3 measly hours - including a few pints in the pub - is so fucking hard Hmm

Antigon · 14/10/2018 20:24

Why do people assume working away is a breeze? I mean it could be but it could be hell. Totally depends on the job and where etc.

Tell you what, Larry, why don't you ask OP how hard it is for her to manage a baby and a 3yo 5 days a week on her own?

Why do you assume she has it easier than her DH? He at least is guaranteed an undisturbed night FIVE nights a week.

ScrambledSmegs · 14/10/2018 20:25

Shock these responses! Women know thy place indeed.

Well done on running the half today OP, and raising money for charity.

SilverLining10 · 14/10/2018 20:25

Yanbu. Well done op. He could support you for a full day couldnt he? Off course your day was much harder and hes been selfish to moan. He works away as well, so he does get a break.

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/10/2018 20:26

Hang on, i get it. OP has to arrange childcare so she can go to work...i guess she has used up her quota for 'child free' hours so how dare she request any more

larrygrylls · 14/10/2018 20:26

Antigon,

I made no such assumption. I have no idea about the exact dynamics of the OP and her husband (hint: nor do you).

I merely responded to the post whereby the OP expects sympathy because she has become tired pursuing her hobby.

Antigon · 14/10/2018 20:27

And making a SAHM pay for childcare from her part-time earnings of 12 hours per week is truly despicable.