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MIL and FIL have turned up uninvited

340 replies

scrabblechampion · 14/10/2018 10:58

I don’t want them here. DH is out (sport he does every Sunday) there’s washing all over the place, the place is a tip, I’ve got a cold, there’s no food in (DH going to supermarket on the way home) and they’re sat on the sofa in the other room waiting for him.

I let them in so as to not cause a scene and now I’m crying in the bedroom.

I hate it when they do this. I’m in my 30s, I should be able to tell them to get out of my home.

Can’t get hold of DH, he leaves his phone in the car. Have left a message to come straight home and get rid of them.

They KNOW he’s out at this time. They pretended they forgot. I don’t know what they want.

OP posts:
Imeantomisbehave · 14/10/2018 11:13

You're a grown woman. Why are you crying over visitors?

Just say "I've tried to phone but he leaves his phone in the car and there's no answer. I'm going out in half an hour so maybe skip the tea this time and husband will call you later". Hand them their coats.

It's your house. What sort of scene will they make - there isn't anyone there to see it? Stop crying.

Yonijust · 14/10/2018 11:13

Dont answer the door next time. Say you were in the bath.

You dont feel well & they are in your space, I get it Flowers

Jack65 · 14/10/2018 11:13

You are behaving in a very weird manner. I wish my in laws could come and visit.

reallybadidea · 14/10/2018 11:13

Honestly, I'd just lie and say that I was meeting a friend, and go out and watch a movie until they've gone.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 14/10/2018 11:14

Or, tell them your I’ll and going back to bed. They're welcome to stay but you need to be left alone to recover.

sue51 · 14/10/2018 11:14

Make them a cup of tea, tell them to drink it quickly as you are going out. When they have finished, ask them to call before they come round as you don't want them to have another wasted journey then show them the door. There is no need to make a drama out of this, is there something else going on?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/10/2018 11:14

You're scared of them? Why what do they do?

From what you've said you need to pull yourself together.

scrabblechampion · 14/10/2018 11:14

Sorry I’ll go I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed

OP posts:
Yonijust · 14/10/2018 11:14

Yes, get ready to go out shopping.

Mumminmum · 14/10/2018 11:14

Do you have MH issues? This is not a normal way to behave.

Aprilislonggone · 14/10/2018 11:15

Lots of sneezing and tell them you need to get to Boots, sorry they had a wasted journey, maybe they could go off for lunch and come back when dh is in?

spacefighter · 14/10/2018 11:16

In future if your not expecting visitors don't answer the door!

hallodarknessmyoldfriend · 14/10/2018 11:16

Why are you crying over this?

If you want them to leave just make up some story about meeting a friend.

It's not nice for people to show up unannounced, but I don't understand why are you crying over this. There is an easy solution.

EggysMom · 14/10/2018 11:16

Oh for goodness sake. Go downstairs, be honest, tell them you're not feeling well, tell them that DH is out without his phone and an unknown return time. Tell them that they cannot stay but are welcome to return later if DH calls them. And tell them to call ahead in future so as not to have had a wasted trip. Just say it. You want to.

BewareOfDragons · 14/10/2018 11:17

I would just ask them to leave, tbh.

Remind them they've been asked not to just turn up before, and you and DH meant it. He's not home, and you're not well and you don't want people in the house, so you'd like them to leave. Now. They can call DH just as easily as you can if they really need to talk to him.

Imeantomisbehave · 14/10/2018 11:18


If you were in bed ill then why did you even answer the door? Why didn't you just stay in bed? If they came in with their own key then you feign sleep and they would leave.

This really is bizarre and not normal. You're crying because family has popped over for a visit? It's infonceneit and rude, but just tell them "I'm sick. I need to to back to bed. Husband isn't here but I will tell him to call you when he comes home". If they say they will stay while you sleep just say "I really wouldn't be able to rest with you down here. He will call when he gets home but it's time for you to head out now". Keep saying it. Don't worry about being rude; just do it.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 14/10/2018 11:18

They cause scenes and I’m scared of them.

OP why are you scared of them? Be brutal, and ask your DH to speak to them and ask them never to turn up unannounced again.

Thatstheendofmytether · 14/10/2018 11:18

Bit extreme OP. Tell them you can't get hold of dh. Stick some clothes on and pop out to the shop, tell them you are going to get a few bits and bobs for them to eat and take your time until you calm down a bit.

Singlenotsingle · 14/10/2018 11:18

What isn't allowed OP? You're saying some strange things! Are you ok?

Failingat40 · 14/10/2018 11:18

Do you have MH issues? This is not a normal way to behave.

Wtf!? How rude, and completely unnecessary!

@scrabblechampion Can you get a friend to pop round or at least phone you with 'an emergency ' so that you have to run out the house? Tell them unfortunately you can't get hold of their son and you need to go?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/10/2018 11:19

MH issues? What? OP said, she was still in bed, feeling ill. They obviously have previous, she is scared of them. I was scared of mine for a while! Til DH, in desperation, demanded I grew a back bone and help him get their relationship on a more even keel.

OP - you could just tell them you are ill, he will be back around 1pm, you think, but you will be going back to bed, so they had best find someway of entertaining themselves, outside the house, for a couple of hours, maybe a coffee at the furthest coffee shop!

YouTheCat · 14/10/2018 11:19

Why are people being so shitty to the OP? She's done nothing wrong. She has a heavy cold and is surrounded by the housework while her dh is off out.

If her pil are the sorts who create drama all over the place, then I can totally see why she might be feeling overwhelmed and upset. She had planned to get on with some stuff and then take it easy a bit as she's not well. She probably knows that if she asks the pil to leave it will cause a scene.

It is utterly shit of people to turn up unannounced. If they live an hour away they could have at least called before they left. What if OP and her dh had gone out for the day?


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EdisonLightBulb · 14/10/2018 11:20

I would have just said "why didn't you let us know you were coming, DH is out all day and I miss off to meet friends for lunch" put the kettle on, go in the shower and leave them with a cuppa then pick up your keys and point them to the door.

My parents and ILs pop in uninvited but they live in the same town, it's fine if no one is home or we're going out, and they only drop something off or all to look at the new wallpaper or whatever.

No way would I drive for an hour uninvited and expect an enthusiastic reception.

MardyMavis · 14/10/2018 11:20

This is not normal?! Just carry on with your day clean your pit and wait for oh to get back.

Yellowflowersgreengrass · 14/10/2018 11:20

For goodness sake, give OP a break! She is very upset and the drip feed happened very quickly, no harm done. She is scared of them!

Ok, tell them you rang your husband and he won’t be home until 1. Tell them they need to come back later as you have stuff to do. If you are afraid of them and they say no, just accept it and tell them you will be having a bath/ in bed sleeping then as you are not well. Point them to the kettle and tv remote and leave.

You must sort this issue out with your husband. Does he know they scare you? Why isn’t he standing up for you or supporting you? He needs to lay down the boundaries with them.

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