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MIL and FIL have turned up uninvited

340 replies

scrabblechampion · 14/10/2018 10:58

I don’t want them here. DH is out (sport he does every Sunday) there’s washing all over the place, the place is a tip, I’ve got a cold, there’s no food in (DH going to supermarket on the way home) and they’re sat on the sofa in the other room waiting for him.

I let them in so as to not cause a scene and now I’m crying in the bedroom.

I hate it when they do this. I’m in my 30s, I should be able to tell them to get out of my home.

Can’t get hold of DH, he leaves his phone in the car. Have left a message to come straight home and get rid of them.

They KNOW he’s out at this time. They pretended they forgot. I don’t know what they want.

OP posts:

Bluelady · 14/10/2018 12:16

She's well enough to post on MN.


pointythings · 14/10/2018 12:17

I don't tolerate people just popping by - I want advance warning so that I can say no if I don't want visitors. OP, you need to have a serious talk with your DH and then both of you, speaking as one, need to set this boundary with your ILs - no more popping by unannounced. And if they do, just don't respond. if people have no boundaries, they have to learn them the hard way.
And some of the people on this thread are really strange...


grannyscobwebs · 14/10/2018 12:17

I have report some of the shitty people on it. Hope it gave you all some entertainment on your crap Sunday afternoon.*

Reported for what? There's been no name calling, no swearing etc. Just opinions. Should we all think the same?



Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 12:17

Why are you so scared of you or inlaws that you are in the bedroom crying?


chocatoo · 14/10/2018 12:17

Even if I didn’t really want Visitors I hope it would never show in the hospitality I offer. Since when did parents need to make appointments to see their families. How sad. I hope when the kids of lots of PPs marry, their partners are more hospitable. No wonder so many old people are so lonely, there are so many people with hearts of stone on here today.
OP I think you should remember your manners and get out there and make a cup of tea and manage some small talk. Make your visitors welcome. If you must, perhaps you could suggest that next time they call ahead to make sure you are in.


SnuggyBuggy · 14/10/2018 12:17

If it was me I'd sit down with my own cup of tea and put on one of the porn channels but I can be a bit of a twat.


Thinkingofausername1 · 14/10/2018 12:20

Stop answering the door if you know it's them. Mine do this and it's bloody annoying. She started doing it on the way to 'her hobby' and knows we are having dinner and expects to chat??? !!


RickOShay · 14/10/2018 12:20

You are lucky if you have no issues with your in laws, other people are not so lucky. Very few people complain without reason.
I hope they’ve gone now op.


specialsubject · 14/10/2018 12:21

unless you think they will turn violent (in which case call the cops) just state the obvious - you aren't feeling well and are not up to visitors. your husband isn't carrying his brickphone so can't be contacted, they could always drive off to find him if needed.

thanks, inlaws, another time, goodbye. Normal human beings will understand and wont be offended. If they are offended they are selfish pigs and aren't worth bothering with.

sitting crying isn't going to sort any of this.


LadyOdd · 14/10/2018 12:22

Sending love and a hand hold. Remember your important too and it’s your home x some of the constructive advice is good on here xx


bubbles108 · 14/10/2018 12:23

You seem quite snowflakey.... maybe you need to consider assertiveness training .... you really didn't need to answer the door. What sort of a scene were they going to make at the closed locked door???


Spiceyrum · 14/10/2018 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

diddl · 14/10/2018 12:24

"Stop answering the door if you know it's them."


This is when not answering the door is handy!


Wherearemycarkeys · 14/10/2018 12:25

I'd have gone out there crying if I was sick and let it all out. I've got no filter when I'm sick, I feel so sorry for myself! I'd literally walk out there in tears and say that you're not well, you don't want to entertain, why would they come all this way without informing you first, it's really inconvenient, it really upsets you and makes you stressed, you usually feel like you can't say anything as they overreact but this time you're really unwell and so it's just too much and this needs to stop. immature? Yes. Embarrassing? Yes. But I guarantee they'll leave immediately! Maybe even apologise Grin


WhatchaMaCalllit · 14/10/2018 12:26

Have you gone back down to them OP? Have you asked them to leave/told them to come back later?


VioletCharlotte · 14/10/2018 12:27

Popping in is normal in some families, but I agree it can be very annoying, especially if you're not well. There's not much you can do on this occasion, but maybe have a think about how you could handle the situation better next time. It sounds like you need to work on being more assertive, this'll help you in all areas of your life. Hope you feel better soon.


Jakethekid · 14/10/2018 12:27

Oh OP I feel for you. I'm another one of those that doesn't like unexpected guests. I like to be prepared, not walking around in my pj's with no make up on and hair barely brushed. I get so embarrassed if my home is a tip aswell.

I live in a flat and my in laws used to decide to show up randomly (funny because they never bother to come here unless they want someting) and of course would press my buzzer. Repeatedly. This would wake up my son.

Now I just ignore it, pray they will go away, and put my child back to bed.


OoohAyyye · 14/10/2018 12:33

She's well enough to post on MN.

All twatty comments to name a few.

Do some people only comment to be completely unhelpful and have little regard to the possibility that they may further upset the OP?

We all live different lives. What might upset one will not upset another. But surely we are all socially and emotionally intelligent enough to understand this?

OP, I really do hope you are okay and that you somehow get them to leave. Go easy on yourself and don't let this morning ruin your entire day FlowersBrew


DarlingNikita · 14/10/2018 12:33

If I stay in here they might come in the bedroom What the fuck? Who thinks that's OK?

Tell them you're unwell and are going back to bed and DH will phone them later. Show them the door calmly but firmly. Repeat as needed.


Nanny0gg · 14/10/2018 12:35

Not all people are nice

Evident by so many of the posts on here.

I know it's a miserable Sunday, weather-wise, but have so many of you got nothing better to do than be spiteful behind a keyboard?

Spend the time brushing up on your comprehension skills and look for the clear meaning and intent behind the OP's posts.


TheMaddHugger · 14/10/2018 12:38

@scrabblechampion (((((Big Hugs)))))


Elephant14 · 14/10/2018 12:42

Thank god you've gone in for a hug Madd - I hope the OP comes back but I wouldn't blame her if she didn't - WTAF has happened here today?

Someone posts "I'm struggling" and then dozens of people jump in and say well tough luck we're ok so you must be at fault?!



ohtheholidays · 14/10/2018 12:43

I really hope you come back to your own thread OP,from what you've said it sounds like your really scared of your PIL's and I'm sorry you've received some crap on this thread please ignore the one's having ago at you,you've done nothing wrong.


Onebiteofeverything · 14/10/2018 12:43

Learn the coat trick-

Always answer your door wearing a coat. If it’s someone you like you say you have just walked in and welcome them. If its someone you don’t then say you are just heading out, see them another time!


ohtheholidays · 14/10/2018 12:43

Well said Elephant

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