MIL and FIL have turned up uninvited

[scrabblechampion]

I don’t want them here. DH is out (sport he does every Sunday) there’s washing all over the place, the place is a tip, I’ve got a cold, there’s no food in (DH going to supermarket on the way home) and they’re sat on the sofa in the other room waiting for him.

I let them in so as to not cause a scene and now I’m crying in the bedroom.

I hate it when they do this. I’m in my 30s, I should be able to tell them to get out of my home.

Can’t get hold of DH, he leaves his phone in the car. Have left a message to come straight home and get rid of them.

They KNOW he’s out at this time. They pretended they forgot. I don’t know what they want.

[Jux]

Of course you're all right and I should have done things differently, but we'd had a whirlwind romance (married after only a few weeks - yes, foolish, but you live and learn) and I don't quite know where my head was. So yes, I answered knowing it would almost certainly be MIL, and it almost always was. If it wasn't, it would be her the next time the phone rang, usually 5 or 10 minutes later. One of my thought was that she didn't know me from Adam, things had happened so fast and it was unreasonable to expect her not towant to get to know her new dil, iyswim.

Anyway, the point for OP is, just don't do what I did. Be firm now.

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

Id start ignoring the door OP

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

@anxiousmotherof1 they could be very horrible people for all you know. Not all granny and grandads at lovely people.

[smallfootpercy]

anxiousmotherof1 You admit you don’t understand the problem but then say the OP’s reaction is over the top?

That is weird and rather rude!

If you don’t understand, either ask questions to help you or don’t comment.

[anxiousmotherof1]

Whats the big deal ? I dont get why you would cry in your bedroom for people visiting ! Your partner's parents !
Seriously so over the top

[mostdays]

why is everyone being so bloody mean to op?
Classic mn pile on isn't it? Goodness knows why anyone would seek support on here these days.

[DontMakeMeShushYou]

Even if you can’t understand people are different with different boundaries ... why would you be so nasty and malicious?

And ain't that the truth! Both for everyone who was unsupportive to the OP, AND for everyone who jumped to conclusions about the ILs.

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

Fuck me! Just come back to this thread having ‘popped in’ earlier 😳 why is everyone being so bloody mean to op?
Op was in bed feeling ill
DH was out running or something
Pil arrive unannounced
House is a shit tip
Op finds them threatening
Op isn’t very assertive
Pil expect op to ring DH to tell him to come home
Op is overwhelmed (probably because she’s feeling like shite)
Op sends a post to MN for support and advice and it turns into this?!
She probably hasn’t replied because DH pitched up hours ago and the situation has diffused.
You don’t have to have MH issues to cry in the bathroom because some cheeky bastards have inflicted themselves on you when you feel ill and vulnerable!

[Jamiefraserskilt]

Explain you were ill in bed and need to go back. Send them down to watch him and help with the shopping.

[Eyeslikethesea]

People on this thread make me despair for humanity. Even if you can’t understand people are different with different boundaries, or you believe the op is a troll, why would you be so nasty and malicious? Just report and move on. It’s not difficult.

[MyOtherProfile]

Poor Op. I hope she got some peace.

Some people on here are totally empathy and compassion-free.

[Antigon]

@Beesandfrogsandfleas

I can't see who's at my door till I open it. It's glazed and doesnt have a spy hole thing. None of the windows are at the right angle to see either, unless I opened an upper one and leaned right out, which ,Igbo give the game away. I don't like not to answer in case it's amazon bringing me some lively stuff. Wonder how much those camera things cost?

I think the basic Ring bell is £89, which allows you to see who's ringing the bell on an app.

I think the more expensive option (which allows you to talk to them ringer) is more expensive.

[Nanny0gg]

I'm trying to imagine me sitting crying in my bedroom because people I don't like have arrived to visit and completely failing.

Well, bully for you. Sad that we're not all the same, isn't it?

[Sinead100]

Disgusted with some of the responses to OP here. Absolutely vile. I sincerely hope those of you mocking the OP never have to be in the position she is in.

I lived with my inlaws for a few years and suffered extreme anxiety/panic attacks as a result of their behaviour. Arguments over minor things, calling me abusive names, banging on my bedroom door swearing at me for things I had supposedly done. We have since moved out but it has been 14 months and I still feel EXTREMELY anxious when I have to see my inlaws, and previously I was somebody that was considered to have a steely disposition. It can happen to ANYONE.

Sending you massive hugs OP. You can get through this.

[grannyscobwebs]

I don't think the OP has MH issues. The point was that many pp who proclaim to care, say the OP is a victim and is being unfairly intimidated, that there must be further issues, that she is in an awful, terrible, unsafe situation etc, have offered no sound advice.

I totally agree that she just can't be arsed! That was the original point. She's probably got a cold and embarrassed that her house is a mess. So she should usher them out or suck it up and stick the kettle on.

[papaoomama]

Why does there have to be mental health issues?? Have you lot never felt ill where you can't be arsed to entertain someone?

Saying to make small talk about the weather and put the kettle on is fine if you feel up to it isn't it?

Perfectly normal to cry/get upset in frustration at being in a situation you can't be arsed with when you feel ill. I wouldn't go running to the Drs with MH / depression issues just yet OP, you sound perfectly normal to me! Get well soon

[Beesandfrogsandfleas]

I can't see who's at my door till I open it. It's glazed and doesnt have a spy hole thing. None of the windows are at the right angle to see either, unless I opened an upper one and leaned right out, which ,Igbo give the game away. I don't like not to answer in case it's amazon bringing me some lively stuff. Wonder how much those camera things cost?

[grannyscobwebs]

If you believe that her in laws are so awful, violent, have caused scenes and she is genuinely scared- add to this the fact that her husband has obviously let it slide..it would seem to me that she does need professional support. If you believe that....

[TulipsInBloom1]

If ill in bed why even answer the door?

[YouTheCat]

She doesn't sound in need of professional support. She does sound in need of a bit of understanding and less crap ils.

[legofriendly]

Perhaps posters have contacted the OP with help by direct message as she was hounded off the thread.

I did.

[grannyscobwebs]

Point being that so many of you have talked about how the OP is suffering at the hands of intimidating bullies, lacks in confidence etc etc...therefore I would have expected some constructive advice or links to support if you are so concerned about her situation.

[YouTheCat]

Wtf! Why would anyone want someone to remain the underdog?

She didn't say anything about having mental health problems. She did say that she is ill. If she has the same virus that I've had recently, she just wants to sleep and try and get over it. I fail to see why she'd need links to mental health services. Maybe if some posters hadn't piled in and told her to get over herself she would have come back and we'd have a clearer picture?

[smallfootpercy]

Perhaps posters have contacted the OP with help by direct message as she was hounded off the thread.

[grannyscobwebs]

I would also think that helping someone believe that they are the victim in every circumstance, doesn't help them either.

A PP said it earlier...that word is so easy to use. It's damaging in itself to encourage someone to not be able to shake them self out of a rut that they have found themselves stuck in. There has been no links to helpful services, self help tools or Family support or MH services from any poster that proclaims that the OP is a victim of bullying or intimidation.
Seems like you all just love an underdog, as long as she stays there.