AIBU?
maxthemartian · 14/10/2018 11:31
I don't understand the judgement, as long as everyone is an adult and consenting.
I'm in my forties now and have been with DH for years, but I was a bit of a wild child from my late teens for a few years, and I can't actually remember the number of people I've slept with but guessing it's around 30 or 40.
No internet dating either, it was various flings and one-nighters with people I met in clubs or from my social circle.
FlorencesHunger · 14/10/2018 11:33
I honestly wouldn't be able to remember the amount of sexual partners I have had, I barely remember the good ones unless they were long-term is partners.
Probably hitting around 50 mark now at a guess and it will continue to grow in number.
I don't see why it matters in any way. Sex is a personal thing, some will have the idea that sex is for the ones you love etc which is absolutely fine and others sex is for fun, bonding experiences and all round way to gain experience and learning about themselves imo.
I've had lovers where it wasn't going to go further but we shared an intimacy that I will remember fondly, equally the ons I don't think about, its a quick fix for any personal needs I have in that moment.
We have the freedom to make our own choices while not harming anyone in the process, why is it a stick to beat ourselves with?
DayManChampionOfTheSun · 14/10/2018 11:36
Personally I don't really know as I never kept a tally, probably 10/11 ish. Couldn't care less about how many sexual partners other people have had, as long as everyone is happy and it was consensual, what's the issue?
And terms like slag and slut are disgusting, and I do judge people who use those words to describe someone.
fifithefoof · 14/10/2018 12:23
Talking about the sex you have isn't 'bragging'.
I find it so so sad that women are still finding talking openly about sex 'grim' and 'disgusting'.
I've only slept with one partner for the last 7 years and will only ever sleep with him for the rest of my life (I hope, unless he pops his clogs).
BakedBeans47 · 14/10/2018 12:27
YANBU and I say that as someone who’s had only a few partners and never been much interested in sex myself. As long as it’s safe and consensual who cares. I think it disgusting to be derogatory about women just because they have enjoyed sex with multiple partners. It’s only sex for gods sake.
Stonebake · 14/10/2018 12:45
Eh? The original was 30-50 wasn’t it? And nobody said whore bag. That’s fucking vile.
Anyway, I said my piece about three hundred times on that thread.
One last time;
It’s fine to have sex with as many men as you like. You might get a raised eyebrow after 200, 300 or something, but if you’re happy and healthy, who really cares?
But I also don’t buy into the posters on the old thread who congratulated each other on their numbers; “you’re a legend”, “wow, a whole football team? Respect” etc. It reminds me of horrible men who used to talk like that about the women they’d had sex with.
As with your last op, I will say yanbu though. 5+ partners absolutely does not make you a “whore bag”.
surferjet · 14/10/2018 12:53
I’m really pleased my total is less than 5. The thought of having lots of different sexual partners makes me feel a bit sick tbh.
One willy is actually more like 10, because you’re sleeping with everyone he’s slept with too - that’s how STI’s spread.
I wouldn’t want to marry a man who’d had lots of partners for the same reason.
But that’s just my personal view.
Stonebake · 14/10/2018 13:04
Oh and I also didn’t like the “you must envy me for having more partners than you and you don’t know what good sex is because you’ve had fewer partners” argument some were using to justify their position on the old thread.
But, like a lot of people on here, I couldn’t care less if you’ve fucked 30000 men. Not my business at all.
surferjet · 14/10/2018 13:15
Sorry fifithefoof that did sound a bit odd didn’t it
What I’m trying to say is, if you have sex with a man tonight, you’re also having sex with the woman ( or man ) he slept with on Friday, & if that woman has a STI it will be her infection he’s passing onto you.
So 1 person actually = 10, or even 100, in sexual partner terms.
Condoms aren’t 100% effective at stopping all sti, & of course in the heat of the moment some people don’t use them at all.
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