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AIBU?

In thinking having more than 5 sexual partners doesn't make you a raging whore bag?

999 replies

fifithefoof · 14/10/2018 00:43

Following on from the last thread .....

OP posts:
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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 09:52

Alaaya I don't think we are far apart. What I cannot understand is those who claim not to feel envy or longing or pangs of jealousy if their DH left them because he decided he loved another woman.

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 09:52

You are quite correct. Pull me up on the thing I missed, rather then looking at all the ways I answered your question.

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JacquesHammer · 19/10/2018 09:53

What I cannot understand is those who claim not to feel envy or longing or pangs of jealousy if their DH left them because he decided he loved another woman

What is difficult to understand about different adults having different emotions? It’s not suggesting you feel the same way.

“I can’t understand what I haven’t experienced” is a very simplicistic thought process

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 09:53

Its a bizarre way of thinking to ascribe trustworthiness on the basis of people having sex without a relationship.

It's a bizzare way of thinking to believe that someones physical behaviour towards you indicates how they feel about you ? Whatever, this is just silly now.

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 09:54

Lornar. I feel no jealousy or envy formthe woman who is with an abisive rapist.

When are you going to recognise that and stop ignoring my experience.

I keep explaining. I keep telling you it’s costing me emotionwlly to keep explaining and you keep ignoring it

Can you understand that I personally feel no jealousy or envy at getting rid of an abusive controlling rapist.

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 09:55

Sorry for typos . My hands are shaking and it’s making me type badly on my phone. I find it difficult to keep recounting my experience and having it ignored.

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JacquesHammer · 19/10/2018 09:55

It's a bizzare way of thinking to believe that someones physical behaviour towards you indicates how they feel about you ? Whatever, this is just silly now

Read it again, then reply. So much more useful

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 09:56

JacquesHammer

We're not talking about some unusual feeling or something rarely experienced. Like I say I believe that these emotions are fundamental.on some level to the make up of a healthy person. Of course in excess they can be damaging as can all emotions, but to not even experience these things is to me like saying you can't tell hot from cold.

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 09:58

So you’re actually saying. That the fact I’m not jealous of the woman who is slowly fading to a husk because she’s with a controlling abusvice rapist makes me emotionally unhealthy.

Well fuck. Who knew.

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 09:59

Can you understand that I personally feel no jealousy or envy at getting rid of an abusive controlling rapist.

Of course I can understand that. That's not the same as someone who you deeply love and cherish though.

Jacques you are making no sense.

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PreseaCombatir · 19/10/2018 09:59

Many people would be upset in the circumstances you describe Lorna. However they would probably categorise it by saying they are upset because someone they thought was committed to them in fact wasn’t. NOT because they’re jealous of the new woman. You can be upset at the betrayal WITHOUT feeling jealousy

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smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 19/10/2018 10:00

This reply has been deleted

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JacquesHammer · 19/10/2018 10:00

Jacques you are making no sense

Funny no one else seems to have struggled..

When the thread is finally full of your ramblings I’d read through again. Without the anger.

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 10:00

ftfoawygtfosm I think maybe you need to take a step back. I am not criticising nyou or your feelings towards your ex. I'm sorry if it comes across that way.

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PreseaCombatir · 19/10/2018 10:01

Your making it about the OW, when feelings should be about the partner. Maybe that’s why you still think your last ex was ‘wonderful’.
You’ve projected all of the negative feelings about him into the OW, and by extension, all women who enjoy no strings sex, as you’ve conflated them all

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 10:01

Do you actually think I didn’t love my ex?

Don’t be so narrow. Of course I loved him.

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 10:03

You are criticising me and my feelings. You’re judgemental and you’ve no idea what it felt like.

And don’t dare order me off the thread just because I’m calling out your illogical position.

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 10:05

You can be upset at the betrayal WITHOUT feeling jealous

If you do not feel jealous or envious that a wonderful man you claim to love wants to give himself to another woman, to do all the things he's done with you that you enjoyed so much (not just the sex) then why are you with him ?

The sadness is because it's over and these things won't be happening any more and you enjoyed them surely ?

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 10:05

Being sad is not the same as envious or jealous.

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 10:06

Jacques you are saying that there is no difference in your outward physical expressions towsrds men you love and men you do not love. Stop me where I go wrong. And that people should hold no truck with physical expressions of love or fondness ?

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smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 19/10/2018 10:07

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 10:10

You are being so obtuse Lornar I can only assume you are either not 28, or are just deliberately goading.

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lornar123 · 19/10/2018 10:13

I feel envious of people are doing things I want to do. Being loved by a wonderful man I thought loved me would be something most people would feel pangs of jealousy or envy about especially at the start. It's very common.

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smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 19/10/2018 10:14

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Thenewdoctor · 19/10/2018 10:15

can you not see the difference in wanting a partner to love you, and being jealous of your friend because they are dating someone you fancy?

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