DD used the phrase "KYS" and has been suspended for 3 days?!

[olayjer]

DD is 13 and said sent the phrase "KYS" to a boy in her year after he sent her an email saying "type X into the school internet" (the X is the name of a porn star that wouldn't seem like a porn star name if you see what I mean). She replied "KYS" back on the same email. The school have said the boy will be punished for the initial email but he clearly hasn't been punished as much as DD has. 3 days exclusion!?

What he said wasn't okay, but I'm on the side of the school that's a horrible thing to say.

25 posts to resolve this, peeps!

Wait in your corners and listen for the 🛎.

'There you go TatianaLarina someone accepting it as a pretty stock standard thing to say.

She did not say it was ‘fine’, she was putting it in context of current idiom of young people.'
*

• yes absolutely. It's not something I would ever condone but it was her way of coping with an awkward and uncomfortable situation for which SHE was punished quite harshly and he wasn't.*

The punishment should certainly have taken into account that her actions were in response to sexual harassment.

I didn’t say you had identified it Teddy I said you could ‘potentially be outed’.

And you could. Someone could look through your back posts, and figure out who you are and your school.

The point sweary was actually making was that she considers the sexual harassment more serious than the use of the acronym.
And no that wasn't the point.

The point was everyone says it so it doesn't mean anything.

Despite at least 2 posters saying that this has caused children to become suicidal.

Saying that this wrong isn't saying that sexual harassment or bullying or abuse is ok. They are wrong too.

It's not mutually exclusive. I can think that more than 1 thing is wrong.

Snowflakes insult trotted out for mental health now. Jesus.
Oh and die bastard is never OK either!

Re Snowflakes - People do realise mh for teens is declining due to online aggression

So depressing that this is the response

Thankfully some schools recognise and implement action around it

And my point, again, is you cannot possibly know that and I ask, again, why are you arguing so strenuously that this punishment is deserved; not on the basis of what OP has said, but on a made up scenario that you have created? You've spent an entire day justifying this punishment as fair on the basis of information that you claim must have happened but OP says has not. So going alone on what the OP has said, not including your fictions addendum do you believe this punishment is fair?

You said you have recently been to a 15 year old’s funeral. That is potentially highly identifying.

TatianaLarina
Don't worry about me. I won't be identified. Thanks for your faux concern though.

She responded to sexual harassment with a flippant remark. If she had said ‘mother fucker’ would people think she was encouraging him to have sex with his Mum? No because it’s not a literal statement.
IMO he should have been suspended for intentionally exposing her to sexual content without her consent and she should have had a ‘talking too’ about insensitive use of a common phrase amongst teenagers. He meant harm she didn’t.

And no that wasn't the point.

Yes it was as she has clarified above.

TatianaLarina

Not from my school though. So not identifying at all.

Don't worry about me. I won't be identified. Thanks for your faux concern though.

I’m not concerned you will be identified as I don’t believe you’re a school governor. But even if you’re just in school admin you’re still very unprofessional.

What about him??? Where's his lesson? KYS is just an acronym, it's nothing.

And THAT'S the other problem people are laughing off and saying is nothing, kill yourself is NOT NOTHING! Even behind cutesy letters.

So not identifying at all.

It can be put together with your back posts about your sons.

If can’t be this naive about internet ‘anonymity’, surely.

I’m not concerned you will be identified as I don’t believe you’re a school governor. But even if you’re just in school admin you’re still very unprofessional.

Believe what you like. I am. I don't work in a school.

I can’t believe people think that saying KYS could cause a boy to actually do it and then also think that telling a girl to google a name she didn’t realise would force her to be bombarded with inappropriate content, didn’t have to be a ‘sheep’ or do what he told her to. I must be missing something as that makes no sense at all to me.
I hope you take this further OP. If this was my daughter I’d want to make sure they where totally up to date, trained and aware of sexual harassment in school and I’d take it further if they weren’t.
I would rather my DD defended herself than her be too awkward and embarrassed to do anything and can understand why she didn’t want to tell a teacher.
I’d also totally make sure she understand why saying something like this can have implications, but as she would be my priority and under my care, I would be making sure more so she understood why what this boy did was so unacceptable and arming her with a fuck load of ammo incase it ever happens again

Kids aren't killing themselves because the girls they sexually harass write KYS in an email. The harassment and bullying they suffer is ongoing and extreme. Also, victims of bullying tend to not BE the bully. (Sending girls directives to look up degrading images of women, in an attempt to make them feel inferior and embarrassed and uncomfortable).

And I agree, while saying KYS isn't fantastic, it was said in defence of what she perceived to be (and what was) BULLYING. And the nerve of him to then dob her in!!

I'd want my child to know that they should stick up for themselves too.You cannot go around telling people to kill themselves as a response though.

TatianaLarina

Don't have sons.

Not doing a very good job so far are you?

Saying kys is never OK acronym or otherwise. Same as old version drop dead.

Oh and it's not being a snowflake to say so. Mental health is important too.