DD used the phrase "KYS" and has been suspended for 3 days?!

[olayjer]

DD is 13 and said sent the phrase "KYS" to a boy in her year after he sent her an email saying "type X into the school internet" (the X is the name of a porn star that wouldn't seem like a porn star name if you see what I mean). She replied "KYS" back on the same email. The school have said the boy will be punished for the initial email but he clearly hasn't been punished as much as DD has. 3 days exclusion!?

Jesus you think this is ok.
You think it’s OK TO BE FLIPPANT
about someone telling others to kill themselves.

Sure she meant it flippantly, but this is called a life lesson. You don’t tell other people to kill them selves EVER

Honestly she has been completely punished at home. Haven't taken it lightly at all.

Yes the boy told on her. I don't understand why he felt the need to encourage her to look up porn though. Odd.

Where did I say it was okay? Nothing like making an assumption?

A 13 year old should know not to use things from an online game like that.

As she doesn’t I hope her game playing privileges have been removed

@CarolDanvers
He didn’t
He told her to look it up. She clearly knew what he meant and told him to go kill himself. She could have just said fuck off. She clearly has no concept of what she said. Therefore needs to learn it, which she has. I doubt she’ll ever say it again.
But instead her parent thinks it’s ok to come on here...

Both kids need to seriously look at their behaviour. I actually find the boys actions far more despicable however as they’re more calculating. Sending KYH seems more like a shock response - of course still obnoxious

I think people are completely overreacting here! KYS is a abbreviation that, whilst it stands for Kill YourSelf, doesn’t really mean that, it’s more of a ‘fuck off’ and used in conversation more regularly than you would think.

It certainly isn’t bullying in this case and I think both students should have the same punishment.

Boy was playing a rather stupid joke on her because to most teens porn is forbidden and hilarious - it's not ok he asked to look at porn - he should be punished and I'd be asking the school of they are going to talk to boys about respect. However your daughter telling him to kill himself is a whole other level and yes she deserves to be suspended - what if the boy had followed her advice?

To us as adults it's awful and shocking but I know for a fact that many kids of this age say and send this kind of thing and seeing as they're early teens and STILL children they don't really understand how awful it is and they certainly don't mean it literally so not going to go in viciously on a 13 year old child. I'm sure we all said and did pretty shit things in our teens too. The punishment does fit imo but he should have been punished too.

I’m sorry. By coming on here and doing !? After your comment about his punishment means that you think her punishment is too much.

DD didn't know what it meant and googled if. Saw what it was (it is not blocked (ATM) hence it seems to be a think going around) and then she responded that. Yes DD also says it's more of a "go away" type response, using it from fortnite 😩😩

Not a great thing to say to someone, but she was using it as an 'Oh, drop dead' equivalent surely? That's not nice either,but that's the idea! And it was in response to someone sending her porn and trying to get her into trouble, not sent unprovoked to bully someone.

Also, the boy sent her a porn link aimed to get her in trouble and embarrass her. Why is she the bully and he the victim?

My 15 year old niece made a serious attempt to take her own life following bullying and messages on her phone from other students to KYS.
I’m glad your daughter was suitably punished - educate her in what the words actually mean and how they can impact on someone else rather than coming on here to whine about it.

Anyway. She got punished he got punished. Why on Earth are you asking on here about it if it was dealt with appropriately
Lots of kids say awful shit, and guess what! They get in trouble if they get caught.

Blimey, my dc received a kys message from a classmate.
School did nothing.

Boys sending porn references to girls, clearly nothing to worry about because that's just what silly kids do? Right. That should be stamped on just as hard and then hopefully he won't be one of those men sending unsolicited dick pics when he grows up.

How do you know he hasn't been punished as much? She could have ignored it, lesson learnt.

Problem is it doesn't matter if she was being flippant or telling him to F off. No school can have a student tell another student to kill themselves and not have a serious consequence

I think that this is a lesson in “never write anything in an email/text/message that you would be prepared to have written in a billboard in the town square”.

She meant it flippantly but it’s a serious thing. Who knows why the boy reacted badly - you don’t know his personal/family history.

The fact it’s used in Fortnite and she thought that meant it was ok to use in real life demonstrates some immaturity on her part.

She’s 13, not a bad time for both lessons.

I’m glad to hear the boy was punished too.

I think kill yourself is a pretty tame reaction to a sexual harasser actually. Like fucking hell people. The guy sexually harassed her. Let's not all pretend he's some innocent victim of a bully.

I know he's not suspended

@CarolDanvers
She said he was punished

My son and his friends use this phrase with each other all of the time on XBox messenger. It's considered by that age group as "banter" and us oldies are obviously outraged but to them it's not usually intended as a literal command. A bit like some people will say 'go get f*cked', it's not a command to get someone to have sex with you. 'Screw yourself, jump off a cliff' etc. all said flippantly usually.

I'd be asking how they intend to protect your minor from sexual and grooming behaviour, because if they want to take 'KYS' to the extreme ends of it potentially inciting suicide, then what does telling her to look for porn lead to???