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Original poster

DD used the phrase "KYS" and has been suspended for 3 days?!

999 replies

olayjer · 12/10/2018 18:29

DD is 13 and said sent the phrase "KYS" to a boy in her year after he sent her an email saying "type X into the school internet" (the X is the name of a porn star that wouldn't seem like a porn star name if you see what I mean). She replied "KYS" back on the same email. The school have said the boy will be punished for the initial email but he clearly hasn't been punished as much as DD has. 3 days exclusion!?

OP posts:
BrownPaperTeddy · 13/10/2018 11:21

Teddy are you one of those lawyers who specialised in getting clearly guilty men off rape charges? If not, you’ve missed your calling.

That is disgusting.

No one was raped. I don't defend rapists and how dare you suggest that.

This boy told her to google a name.

Somehow that became he linked to porn, sent porn and now he's a rapist?

What a joke.

He told her to google a name.

Does this girl not have the ability to make her own decisions? She has to do what he tells her does she?

She tried to access porn on the school's computer.

What if other students saw the results of her Google search? Others not involved in any capacity other than being in the classroom?

All of you talking about her being traumatised by seeing porn aren't considering any other kids in the vicinity who neither told someone to look nor looked it up themselves are you?

ButchyRestingFace · 13/10/2018 11:21

If someone says go kill yourselves though, they need harsh punishment too.

Brace yourself. Aged 15, I threatened to slice the throat of a boy who used to throw trash at me/in my general direction and shout "show us your cunt" at me when I walked home from school.

I was brandishing a piece of broken glass I'd just picked up from the ground too so he knew I meant business.

I didn't tell him to kill himself, I actually offered to do it for him.

Yes, I'm sure I could have handled it better but he never threw anything in my general direction or invited me to show him any parts of my anatomy ever again.

BrownPaperTeddy · 13/10/2018 11:23

ButchyRestingFace

Then you're lucky you weren't charged with something.

TheStoic · 13/10/2018 11:24

He sent a name.

Classic minimising. Your sons are lucky to have women like you in their corner.

Scrumplestiltskin · 13/10/2018 11:24

Can you link to the post where OP says he sent a porn link?
The name he told the OP's daughter to google was a porn star name. Now, I don't know about you all, but if I google a porn star name, all sorts of filthy thumbnails come up (despite me not watching porn myself,) and links with dirty descriptions too. That's a "porn link" to me, even if it is just thumbnails and other links.
Also, Butchy, if you're a fucking cunt, you must be the best kind, because I've really appreciated your comments on here.

VerbeenaBeeks · 13/10/2018 11:25

Then you're lucky you weren't charged with something.

Very lucky.

ButchyRestingFace · 13/10/2018 11:26

Then you're lucky you weren't charged with something.

Doubtless. People who snap after years of crap don't always come off well legally speaking.

In this case, once he'd stopped calling me a "mad cunt" as he retreated into distance, he told all his pals. Who thought it was funny. I didn't.

Original poster
olayjer · 13/10/2018 11:26

Omg I can't believe the people this morning blaming my daughter for looking up porn and then subjecting the rest of the class who didn't want to see it to see it :O what the actual fuck??

He sent her an email with some happy dandy name and said google it. She's a just turned 13 year old and thought nothing of it, so googled it. How was she supposed to know he was tricking her into seeing pornography?

Yet people are now blaming her for looking up porn. What is this place?

OP posts:
BrownPaperTeddy · 13/10/2018 11:27

Classic minimising

Really? How?

If he sent a name and then she ignored it what has happened? Nothing.

If she was concerned or upset by it and had told a teacher he would have been dealt with.

Had he sent her a link, a video a picture entirely different. Then I would expect his punishment to have been severe. Had I been a governor at the school I would support a permanent exclusion.

But telling someone to google a name? No as a response to that is perfectly adequate.

Scrumplestiltskin · 13/10/2018 11:28

When I was 12, at school, at the top of the amphitheater, a boy who often teased me tried/feinted at grabbing my boob, so I reflexively pushed him away and he fell all the way down the amphitheater and hurt his ankle badly. Before the teachers got there, I got to him and told him if he ever tried to touch me again, I'd finish the job. He didn't ever touch me again. But he did rape one of my classmates later on, at college.
When the principal tried to punish me for pushing him, my mother told him that the boy had deserved it, and took me off on holiday early.

ButchyRestingFace · 13/10/2018 11:29

He sent her an email with some happy dandy name and said google it. She's a just turned 13 year old and thought nothing of it, so googled it. How was she supposed to know he was tricking her into seeing pornography?

We live in a woman blaming society, what did you expect?

If they insist on this absurd punishment, can you do something nice with her during the suspension period? I tongue-in-cheek suggested Alton Towers (and letting the school know).

Scrumplestiltskin · 13/10/2018 11:29

Good on you, Butchy - I hope he pissed himself a little bit in fear.

TatianaLarina · 13/10/2018 11:30

You’re right OP it does actually beggar belief that some posters are trying to shift the blame onto your DD.

Absolutely fucking extraordinary.

ButchyRestingFace · 13/10/2018 11:30

Also, Butchy, if you're a fucking cunt, you must be the best kind, because I've really appreciated your comments on here.

Aww, thank you. Flowers

VerbeenaBeeks · 13/10/2018 11:30

He sent a name.Classic minimising. Your sons are lucky to have women like you in their corner.

But that's what this whole OP is about. He said to google a name.
Which the school said they're dealing with. Rightly.
Going by your logic, there's lots of minimising of the girls behaviour too.
She only messaged someone to go kill themselves,that's normal, people do that all the time, it doesn't mean anything, it's online and not real life etc etc....
that's like us turning round and saying but what if she escalated a few years down the line and saw it as perfectly normal to send kill yourself messages as a sustained attack against someone, after all she was taught to think it was a normal thing to say when she was a teenager.
BOTH need to know it's not OK what they were doing.

Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 11:31

So by that reasoning, if he’d told her to KYS she would have done it?

Logic fail there op.

TatianaLarina · 13/10/2018 11:31

No as a response to that is perfectly adequate

If you don’t know what it’s a link to, then you don’t know to say no. It might have been something funny thus no reason to avoid clicking on it.

Original poster
olayjer · 13/10/2018 11:33

It's not a logic fail at all.

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 13/10/2018 11:34

You’re right OP it does actually beggar belief that some posters are trying to shift the blame onto your DD

NOBODY has done that. Of course the boy was to blame, of course the girl is right to retaliate! You can't just go around telling people to kill themselves though and have it all dismissed as just bantz innit, kids do it all the time nowadays.
If so, and school see it via written proof of an email exchange, perfect time to show that it really is never OK and that they will punish anyone doing that too.

Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 11:34

He sent her a name and said google it. She did. So it’s his fault.

She told him to KYS IF he had it would’ve been her fault by your logic.

BrownPaperTeddy · 13/10/2018 11:35

If they insist on this absurd punishment, can you do something nice with her during the suspension period? I tongue-in-cheek suggested Alton Towers (and letting the school know).

Regardless of your intention that isn't good advice.

The school should have provided a letter stipulating that the child is not to be out in a public place whilst excluded. The OP shouldn't be advised to get herself into trouble too.

My advice, as a school governor, speak to the school. Find out exactly what has happened here and why they have acted in this way. Is it in line with behaviour policy?

And please check what your daughter is being exposed to on line. If she is hearing KYS whilst playing a game what else is she seeing or hearing?

Original poster
olayjer · 13/10/2018 11:35

She thought it was going to be a funny meme or something. People suggest things to us all the time in life "oh you have to try that drink" or "yes definitely go there" "watch that film it's really good" and you will most likely try all those things out. These could be used to trick someone, it's not the person who tried them outs fault

It's a different kind of "telling someone to do something" than "jump off a cliff" or "go get hit by that bus" (things that are not unknown).

OP posts:
Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 11:35

Yes both need punished.

But to my mind, her telling him to kill himself was worse and she needs to take responsibility for that.

TatianaLarina · 13/10/2018 11:36

That’s exactly what BrownPaperTeddy has just done.

Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 11:36

what does the school discipline policy say about it?

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