DD used the phrase "KYS" and has been suspended for 3 days?!

[olayjer]

DD is 13 and said sent the phrase "KYS" to a boy in her year after he sent her an email saying "type X into the school internet" (the X is the name of a porn star that wouldn't seem like a porn star name if you see what I mean). She replied "KYS" back on the same email. The school have said the boy will be punished for the initial email but he clearly hasn't been punished as much as DD has. 3 days exclusion!?

Bearing in mind that had the boy been suffering MH and gone on to do something, your DD could have been held accountable and responsible.

That’s how serious what she sent is. It’s staggeringly bad for her to tell anyone to kill them selves.

I think 3 days is lenient tbh and I’d certainly not consider it harsh.

Strongmummy

I actually find the boys actions far more despicable however as they’re more calculating.

I suspect because they are male

Sending KYH seems more like a shock response

Excusing because its a female.

@carol, agreed. I’m shocked that most responses overlook the boy’s behaviour which actually was bullying and a form of sexual assault

In my day you’d say “drop dead” to people as an insult and not really mean it. Is KYS like that? I’m sure she didn’t mean it literally. She’s learnt a tough (but important) life lesson about being careful what you write online.

It might be a “casual” comment on fortnight but it’s actually a vile thing to say and I’m glad the school are taking a hard line on that kind of talk. It really isn’t casual so it shouldn’t be let go as if it is.

However, he should get the same punishment for directing her to look at porn. That needs a hard line too.

@boney I’m unsure of your point

No one is overlooking the boys behaviour, but we don’t know what his punishment was, so we can’t say if it was appropriate or not.
A vague, I know he wasn’t suspended isn’t really enough.

@Sloegin2 I’m sorry but I don’t think the two situations are comparable. Texting KYS multiple times out of the blue is bullying and not ok.

Sending it once as a flippant response to a prank (I assume that is what the boy was aiming for) is not bullying and will not lead to this boy actually killing himself.

He's punished too, but he's not missing education as part of his punishment...

Ummm. The boy tricked her into looking up porn? At 13!!

She didn't swear, she didn't punch him, she sent him a snotty reply. What she should probably have done was tell a teacher, instead of replying. But i have a lot more sympathy for your daughter, than her nasty classmate!

If she can’t differentiate between fortnite and real life she shouldn’t be on it.

Regardless of what is meant flippant or not telling a teenager to kill them selves is never ok.

Telling someone to go kill themselves is awful, but the boy sending the porn suggestion is worse in my opinion.

When one of my pupils was told to KYS, she did. So I think 3 days is pretty lenient and you need to be having serious words with her.

All 3 of my DC play Fortnite and after asking them they have never had or heard anyone say that to them.

Your DD has learnt hopefully a very valuable lesson today. She is only 13, but the school did the right thing.

Did the boy dob her in?!?! What a sneaky twat.

Wow, I doubt if it was the daughter receiving it you would be one of the first to shout report it to the school.

"Now KYS" was a meme for a while but even the dark corners of Reddit have banned it now as the connotations around it are bad.

She deserves to be in trouble and you should be looking at what Tumblr pages she is looking at.

He was out of order and will get in trouble, but it still didn't warrant that response. So YABU

Given the context it seems a rather OTT reaction, but I guess she has to suck it up.

@Fridaydreamer

What if OPs daughter has been a victim of sexual abuse and this tipped HER over the edge?

@BoneyBackJefferson that's not even an issue here, you are just spoiling for an argument

But i have a lot more sympathy for your daughter, than her nasty classmate!

Absolutely!

Oh, and I play Fortnite, as does DH and DS and we've never, ever heard or seen it on there.

I think it's harsh. As you say, it's used in fortnite constantly. Let's be clear- it's a terrible thing to say but we used to say "drop dead" all the time and I have no doubt she meant it as a flippant response rather than actually meaning it in a literal sense.

I would have thought it would be far more sensible for the school to take a pastoral approach to re-educating her on the seriousness of saying something like that, and use it as a learning experience for all the kids.

How the fuck do you know what leads people to killing themselves.
How do you know if she wasn’t seriously told off for this she would think it was ok to say over and over. Until someone did kill themselves.

How many threads do you read about bullying.
She’s an idiot, and because of her punishment it’s highly unlikely she’ll ever do it again, hopefully same for the boy.
Ergo. The punishment for the crime

Totally agree with Marble, huge overreaction. Seems like people are looking for excuses to get enraged by things. If she'd said 'Get Fucked', would the incensed crowd think she was inciting rape? Obviously neither the original message or the response are pleasant and neither of them come out of this covered in glory, but three days suspension total overreaction.

Yep, sounds like a fitting punishment to me. She will learn not to say it again.

...and this is why my DC aren't allowed to play Fortnite (or at least it's one of the reasons.)

What Marble179 said.