Breastfeeding at table

[JillianHoltzmann]

Hi guys, genuinely not sure if I'm being unreasonable here.
I have a two and a half week old baby, ebf, for background.

My mum has invited my sister and I out for a meal, and my sister will be bringing her boyfriend. My mum made a "cutesy" voice and said "and you can come too, and have a Sunday dinner in the toilet!" to the baby, which I didn't understand at first, so I said why would she be in the toilet? Mum replied "well you're not going to do it at the table, are you?" And I mentioned that she'd done that.

Then my sister piped up and said my mum had covered up and i don't do that (i dont like to cover up) and that it was a bit awkward- everyone would have to move to another table.

For background my sister is pregnant but doesn't plan to breastfeed because she feels weird about it, and she has said before to me that she doesn't want her boyfriend to see my boobs.

Aibu to want to be able to feed her at the table without offending my own family- without going to the toilet (!) and without having to cover her? Which is in itself bloody awkward because I can't move at all without the cover slipping down onto her face me upsetting her.

@Lethaldrizzle I couldn't agree more!

Spot on lethal
I’d always thought that too.

This reminds me of when I took my newborn to see my family for the first time. It had taken me 15 long years to get pregnant and all of my family are up north so they all congregated at mums house to see us. My mum and 5 sisters (who had a total of 21 children between them, none breastfed) looked vaguely surprised when I fed the baby on the sofa whilst everyone was milling about but didn't comment. Later on when it was all quiet my mum said "I can't believe you did that" I said "did what" and she replied "breastfed in the living room with everyone looking, especially your stepdad and all the boys (bil's and nephews), you should have gone upstairs".

I just laughed and carried on but most of them spent the rest of the week asking when I was going to give him a bottle "because it was easier"  very sad.

Reading that @lethaldrizzle comment has made me realise that I assume people who have issues with breastfeeding are either sexual abuse survivors who have had their relationship with bodies damaged in that way, or that they’re misogynists who support the idea that women’s bodies are decorative, passive sex objects.

That’s pretty fucking judgey, but have realised it is what I think.

I actually feel a bit envious when I see women breastfeeding as I wasn’t able to have my own children due to fertility issues. But that’s my problem not theirs.

My dp is putting pressure on me to stop bf our four month old baby as it will be easier and he's hungry so needs formula. It makes me cross as our baby is 99th percentile for height and 75th for weight - he's fine on my milk!
He also seems to think feeding your own baby when they are older eg after crawling is wierd. Sigh.

Spangly , do what you think is best for you and your baby. It isn't easier to bottle feed and nor is it likely that your baby is getting insufficient milk from you. In fact you have proof of the opposite. This 'hungry baby' narrative infuriates me.Talk with him, what is his real reason... there are many. No reason at all why you shouldn't mix feed or swap to formula but the above reasons are completely spurious. Do it for the right reasons for you all.

@Spanglyprincess1
Sounds like you're doing a great job. Enjoy your baby!

Don’t stop if you don’t want to Spangly. He should be pleased you’re feeding his baby the best, giving him the chance of better health for life.

SpanglyPrincess1, it’s up to you when to stop, not your BF. It sounds like your baby is doing well, and some babies do just want a comfort suckle on a bottle or boob and/or go through spells of feeding constantly - this happens to FF babies as well as BF babies. So this “hungry baby” behaviour would probably still happen if you switch to FF.

Yep I agree, he brings it up every other day though it's annoying.

Spangly sounds like you are doing an excellent job - you’ve managed to get this far bf without a supportive partner!! You deserve a medal!

Why on earth you would want to switch now when most of the hard work is out of the way?? And make more work for yourself prepping bottles when your baby is clearly thriving!

IME- it gets even easier again by 5 months or so when they start having longer gaps between feeds. You carry on as long as you want

By the way - my little boy was and still is only on the 9th centile- and he would also feed what felt like non-stop at that age and earlier. Normal bf baby Behavior