My sons baby

[Fcukfour]

My son had a baby 16 weeks ago. They’ve bought baby round to my house once, I live 4 miles away. Am I unreasonable to want to see baby more? I do go there at least once a week, but I’m conscious of being “the interfering mother in law”

@inspace then that's lovely, but surely you recognise that not everyone has the same family dynamic as you.

Of course I do nelly. Not all in laws are nice, or close by. But the OP is both, and people are still saying she shouldn't expect to see the baby once a week.

Nellyelora. No not everyone is family orientated, but it’s still not a reason for outright nastiness. I thought the whole point of mumsnet was to support each other? Not to be who can be the nastiest, cruelest, or down right vindictive. Wow, has certainly opened my eyes. Average age of some must be about 12yrs.

Op you've posted in 'aibu' so you are going to get yes or no answers - you tend to get more robust answers here as opposed to 'chat' or 'relationships'. As I said much earlier on, I don't think many people have been particularly nasty; they just don't agree with you, which is different.

The problem with MIL/DIL threads is that we, as the readers, only have one side of the story, we don't know the posters or who they are talking about, we don't know their nuances so we can only give advice based on our personalities and experiences.

I'm glad you've arranged something with your DIL which suits you both and hope it goes well.

Nelly. Yes I see that. I didn’t necessarily mean to me, I meant in general. Some can be quite nasty for no real reason ,just because we don’t agree with each other there is no reason for the way some answer. A little kindness and tact would do more good surely?

Thank you for your kind words to me.

Of course things will change when it’s back to work time, then all of a sudden maybe I’ll be offered much more time with grandchild 😉.

Can I just ask about this? If you were asked to help in any way would you not want to do this? I saw this on another thread by a different OP and it just makes me think but isn't the crux of what you're saying that you want to see them more? If you were asked for help say, every Friday or something, by the little winky face you imply that people will only ask for help on their terms.

Well yes, they will only ask for it when they need it. They don't seem to need help at the moment but why does it change when they do? I.e. Oh well they will need me soon like that's a bad thing on them.

Maybe I'm mixing you up too much with the other thread but it is very similar and it just seems like you want to help on your terms but when it actually might be needed/useful that it would be looked upon that DIL is a user almost.

Please explain to me the difference between going round when baby is 16 weeks with offers of help etc.. and when they are say, 2? If the difference is that it's more tiring at that age and you won't want to offer much help then, well that answers your question really. Why would you need help with a relatively easy 16 month old, yet more active 2 year old might require a bit of help or respite now and then?

Hopefully you'll see what I'm trying to say and is in no way an attack.

I'll be very very happy to have my grandchild when work looms. I was just trying to be light hearted. This thread got quite nasty at times.

After posting here about how much I dislike my inlaws, I allowed mil to come over to see my child while I did some work around the house on three occasions. Then, last weekend, she attacked my parenting and scolded me at dinner in front of 14 people for giving my child medicine due to teething.

All future invites are off the table. She is my husbands mother and therefore his problem.

As a result of my husbands busy schedule, we only see her maybe twice a month for about 2-3 hours which is more than enough.

I think you have it pretty good at seeing them once a week. YABU.