To want to be fed at birthday parties?

[LurkNoFurther]

I have a 3 and 4 year old, so get lots of invites to birthday parties.

AIBU to expect some food at these parties?

For example, we had a party 12-3pm, food was served to the kids at 1.30pm. All the adults were standing behind their respective DC (small room) watching hungrily while they ate. There was a canteen there but it wasn't close to the party room and we had to be supervising our DC so no real option to get /eat lunch.

I could see some adults sneaking in a cold chicken nugget when they thought no one was looking!

At the end of the party I was so hungry, I ate the cake & sweets from the party bag!

It doesn't happen all the time, but I do myself getting annoyed when it does...

Now I'm not expecting a full on meal, but the hosts could have brought some home-made sandwiches that wouldn't have cost more than £20. Please consider the adults at these lunch time parties!

AIBU?

At most of the parties I have been to, once the kids have all had a plateful or two the host has gone round telling the parents to help themselves. I've never seen anyone looking askance at a parent nabbing a cheese sandwich once the kids have tucked in!

I miss those young kids’ parties sigh. I thought it was the general rule that adults can dig in as soon as kids were finished? There’s usually a bowl of cheese balls and chocolate fingers left over to dive into. Heaven.

Nope, if adults are invited to stay with their dc’s then food should be served to them as well. We did for my nieces party

Generally YABU but in this instance 12-3 is longer than normal.

Normally though parties are 2 hours and any adult should be able to manage 2 hours without food.

We always cater for adults but it is an added stress and cost and half the time most of it isn't eaten.

Why on earth should the parents of the birthday child feed grown adults? Have a big breakfast, a brunch or bring a snack.

Yadnbu - I'm always starving at these things.

That said, because of this I always provide plenty of extra sandwiches and finger food for adults at ours, and only the dads and I go for it (it's nice stuff too, M&S and not all beige!). Have always wondered if I am just a lot greedier than other mums...

And yes it's pretty standard to dip into the sausages and crisps. Kids barely eat anything.

I think YABU. Some party venues won't allow you to take your own food either. I've never been to one that fed the adults (other than help yourself to the kids leftovers)

Nah, adults can fend for themselves. I’ve been to parties where they’ve done a pizza or two for the afultds. I have before bought a tin of biscuits or Roses and handed around the adults, and last year the cake I made for ds2 was so giant I handed that round to adults. But otherwise they are very welcome to help themselves to the kids’ food, there’s always tons left over.

All the parents used to tuck in at those parties. Now I have to drop my DC off. 😭

When we held a party for ds in the local community hall, we did feed the kids first but I went round telling the parents to help themselves too.

It was lunchtime, there was plenty of food (and adults seem to like triangle sandwiches ) there was no point in wasting it when people were hungry, and it's just decent hospitality. Makes sense to me.

(I also paid for parents to have a free (to them) hot drink and muffin at ds's soft play party, for the same sort of reason.)

YABU it’s not a party for you, it’s for the children. Parties are expensive and feeding the adults too really adds up, especially when both parents attend. I would expect to have some birthday cake but not a proper meal.

I always make enough for adults or buy a couple of pizzas to slice up if it’s a playcentre and any adults stay. Not everyone does though. I imagine it would be rare for there to be no food left at the end or anywhere to get anything. I’m sure the mum wouldn’t have minded in this case if you asked her to watch your 2 while you nipped to the canteen. Kids don’t move when they’re eating party food ime!
Yabu imo. If this kind of thing happens to you a lot you should know by now to have something filling before the party and/or shove a cereal bar or something in your bag.

Don't grown ups eat before a party? Knowing it's a children's party so there'll be the usual party food? Yes to tucking in once the kids have left the table but I've never known a kids' party where special adult food was there for the parents.
Mind you, in our family we feed the kids too before a party as 1.30 is way past their usual lunch time.

YABU. Eat before the party or take a snack.

Luckily I’ve never been to a child’s party where the adults weren’t fed! I’ve been to a lot of parties and adults are always told to dig in to sandwiches etc after the dc have there’s, really when expecting parents to stay I think it should be the done thing!

Even soft play ones I’ve been too, had at least been biscuits out on the table for the parents

It’s just not the done thing OP. Most parents just nab the left over party food.

The times I have provided biscuits etc for the parents at my DC’s parties, they’ve been pretty refused. I think parents are more concerned about being spotted eating biscuits than they are at eating a handful of cocktail sausages!

I've never seen adults fed more than biscuits and crisps at a child's birthday party. Some snuffle up the left over sandwiches on their child's plate. I always eats before I go anyway.

Eat beforehand or eat a bit of kids’ food. The party is for them not you

I think if the kids are young enough that the parents need to stay there should be something for them. Even if it's just a few bowls of crisps. Something savoury not just sweet things that make you hungrier.

I guess my annoyance comes from the fact that we've been to this venue before and the hosts kindly arranged for tea/coffee and plates of hot chips for the adults. Lush!

It is a large venue (think theme park type thing) so it takes a while to get there and the parties tend to be longer. I.e if we ate beforehand we'd be having lunch at 11am

Next time I will be more prepared and take snacks with me!!

All depends on where the party is. If it's in community hall or something similar, then yes there's always been plenty on the buffet for the adults. If it's just at soft play, then no, I've never seen food for the adults on offer. Surely an adult can go a couple of hours without food or God forbid, buy their own if they want something?!

I've never ever provided food for the parents at my son's birthday parties. Can't you wait until it's over and fend for yourself?!

You can’t go 3 hours without food 🤣

Well on one hand you are an adult, you know your schedule, you should be able to work out when you’ll need to eat.

On the other hand, when our children were young enough to have parents stay at parties we always provided tea, coffee, water, and something to eat for the parents.