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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to be fed at birthday parties?

198 replies

LurkNoFurther · 10/10/2018 13:30

I have a 3 and 4 year old, so get lots of invites to birthday parties.

AIBU to expect some food at these parties?

For example, we had a party 12-3pm, food was served to the kids at 1.30pm. All the adults were standing behind their respective DC (small room) watching hungrily while they ate. There was a canteen there but it wasn't close to the party room and we had to be supervising our DC so no real option to get /eat lunch.

I could see some adults sneaking in a cold chicken nugget when they thought no one was looking!

At the end of the party I was so hungry, I ate the cake & sweets from the party bag!

It doesn't happen all the time, but I do myself getting annoyed when it does...

Now I'm not expecting a full on meal, but the hosts could have brought some home-made sandwiches that wouldn't have cost more than £20. Please consider the adults at these lunch time parties!

AIBU?

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 10/10/2018 15:00

I would never expect to be fed at a children's party. It's a bit much asking parents who have organised a party snack for 20 kids (as well as paying for the venue/entertainment/party bags) to also have to think about feeding and watering 20-30 adults too!

Surely you can organise yourself enough to manage not to eat for 2-3hrs? Take a packed lunch and have it before you go in if you need to.

roundaboutthetown · 10/10/2018 15:00

If you are expected to stay with your children, then it's bloody rude not to feed you, too, as they cannot possibly claim the invite was only for your child. If you are choosing to stay, but they don't need the adult help and would have been happy for you to drop your child and leave, then I guess yabu (whilst they are simultaneously a bit mealy mouthed not to have ensured there would be enough food for adults to hoover up leftovers, especially as some children do refuse to be left at that age).

RevRichardWayneGaryWayne · 10/10/2018 15:01

If it's a "theme park type thing" surely there' some where you can buy some chips or at least a choccy bar?

basquiat · 10/10/2018 15:05

Why on earth should the parents of the birthday child feed grown adults

I would normally say it's unnecessary, but it's also a bit silly to have a party at 12-3 if parents are required to stay and there is no food for them.

1-4 would be ok (they could have lunch before) or 11-2 (late lunch after), but 12-3 is just annoying.

Tinty · 10/10/2018 15:14

YABU to eat the stuff out your kids party bag, that’s ridiculous. If you can’t go without food for 3/4 hours then take a snack.

You're going to tell me next you don't eat their halloween candy either, did you not read the parent's handbook where it says in reparation for all those years of sleepless nights and tantrums you get to eat the party bag goodies and halloween candy, at least until small child gets old enough to ask "where has my party bag cake gone?" Grin

ADastardlyThing · 10/10/2018 15:18

Of course yabu! The party is for the kids, not you Grin

Bear2014 · 10/10/2018 15:21

I find this whole 'it's not a grown up party, it's a kids' party' thing a bit crazy to be honest. For smaller children, it's not like the kids are driving/walking themselves there, supervising themselves and making their own way home. If a parent brought their child to your house for a playdate, would you not offer them tea and biscuits? Surely kids' parties are a nice excuse for the parents to socialise too? Don't you like these people?

basquiat · 10/10/2018 15:23

Bear2014 are you foreign? Because this reasonable and sociable perspective does not seem very British! Grin

iliketomoveitmoveitMOVEIT · 10/10/2018 15:23

I’ve only had one party so far, and hadn’t been to any because D.C.1 is the oldest in the nursery Hmm but we ordered pizza platters and chips (healthy!!) for the adults. Most of the parents were pleasantly surprised, so I assumed food isn’t usually provided. I shall learn from that and have a sandwich before going to the next one Smile

I won’t be eating the DC’s leftovers. I love them and their little friends, but all those sticky little fingers grasping all the food and putting it back? Can’t quite bring myself to do it!

Bear2014 · 10/10/2018 15:27

No but seeing as my 4 year old has a better social life than me these days, we're mates with a lot of her friends' parents and these occasions are for everyone. They have mostly been more party in a hall/park/someone's house, not so much soft play or whatever, but they have universally catered for kids and grown ups.

Bear2014 · 10/10/2018 15:27

We're in SE London

ADastardlyThing · 10/10/2018 15:28

Is it a regional thing maybe? It's totally unheard of for the adults to be fed at a kids party in these ere parts. They are expensive and chaotic enough without having to sort out 30-odd parents too.

anniehm · 10/10/2018 15:32

If parents are expected to stay then you should be fed - never used a venue at this age so I did my own (over) catering. I always provided wine too!

ADastardlyThing · 10/10/2018 15:39

Wine? See that's strange to me too, I've never heard of alcohol being served at a children's daytime party.

Phineyj · 10/10/2018 15:40

I agree (although I'm obviously in a minority). I think it's rude to invite people (any people) over a mealtime and not feed them, especially if it's lunchtime. I think if you're requiring parents to stay, you've got to feed them something or at least choose a venue with a café they can go to. Gyms and leisure centres are good for that. If you can't afford to feed the parents a slice of pizza, maybe invite fewer children?

I personally get very grumpy if I don't eat for 3 or 4 hours, which is what we're talking if you have to ferry a child to a venue, hang about for 2 hours and then ferry them home, perhaps having had breakfast around 6am in our case.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:42

I’ve been to one children’s party with loads of wine, bbq etc. It was lovely of them to provide it all, but because it was a nursery party where I didn’t know many of the other parents, it wasn’t really a let your hair down and enjoy yourself occasion for me. I usually just want to go, let dd enjoy herself and get home again to enjoy the rest of our weekend.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:43

‘Proper’ friends’ children's parties though; yes we sometimes have wine served and always have food.

Ragaroo · 10/10/2018 15:45

We did a party at home for my 3 year son, provided party food for the kids, and we did a separate food spread for the parents, and the parents barely touched it. But I did that because I agree, it's nice to help the parents out during the lunch hour hunger pangs! Tbf I was too busy to eat it too lol.

ADastardlyThing · 10/10/2018 15:49

"If you can't afford to feed the parents a slice of pizza, maybe invite fewer children?"

I'd be absolutely mortified and extremely upset if I thought my nibbles came at the cost of another kids invite.......to a kids party.

Besides, someone would moan that "there was only one slice of pizza".......

Notso · 10/10/2018 16:08

You must be going to the wrong parties! We've been to home parties where there was bbq/roast beef sandwiches/bolognese/macaroni cheese.
Church hall parties with separate buffets for parents.
Soft play with all teas and coffee paid for and bacon or sausage sandwiches laid on.
Farm park with cans of fizzy drinks and
We've always done food and drinks for staying parents. I can't remember a single party over 4 DC where there was nothing for parents.

papaoomama · 10/10/2018 16:13

Got a three hour birthday party for four years olds his week. Our first real bday party invite, but it does seem like a long time! Confused I'm fairly shy so am dreading it but also wondering if it's bad form not to stay for the full three hours? It's also over lunch time so must remember to eat before!

ADastardlyThing · 10/10/2018 16:17

Nah not bad form, stay for about half an hour after food is dished up which is normally half way through then you're good to go.

bellsbuss · 10/10/2018 16:29

Knowing how hungry I get I always do food for the adults

papaoomama · 10/10/2018 16:31

ADastardlything

Oh great! Sounds good to me. Doesn't seem so scary now!

Deadringer · 10/10/2018 16:34

jeez just eat something before you go.

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