To want to be fed at birthday parties?

[LurkNoFurther]

I have a 3 and 4 year old, so get lots of invites to birthday parties.

AIBU to expect some food at these parties?

For example, we had a party 12-3pm, food was served to the kids at 1.30pm. All the adults were standing behind their respective DC (small room) watching hungrily while they ate. There was a canteen there but it wasn't close to the party room and we had to be supervising our DC so no real option to get /eat lunch.

I could see some adults sneaking in a cold chicken nugget when they thought no one was looking!

At the end of the party I was so hungry, I ate the cake & sweets from the party bag!

It doesn't happen all the time, but I do myself getting annoyed when it does...

Now I'm not expecting a full on meal, but the hosts could have brought some home-made sandwiches that wouldn't have cost more than £20. Please consider the adults at these lunch time parties!

AIBU?

Where I am parties at home all have adult catering; nice cheese, cold cuts, dips, booze. Parties in soft play don't (though you can usually buy yourself a crap coffee and panini)

I agree with PP that it depends on time of the party. For this one it was during the period when you would normally expect to each lunch. I can go 3 hours without food, of course I can! But from breakfast to 3 must be difficult for everyone surely?

My mistake for thinking it would be like the previous party, lesson learned!!

I had a soft play for my youngest, brought a platter of sandwiches for the adults. Doesn't have to be expensive.

Easily done imo

@lurk, well just bring a bag of crisps or banana with you just in case. Or have a sandwich just before you leave. Not sure why you’d expect adults to be fed. We’ve always fed the adults, but the focus is the kids and I wouldn’t expect someone else to feed me

Except it is expensive when it's expensive!

Platter of sandwiches for 30 adults at my local soft play would be about £60+. That's a no from me.

I always feed the adults at parties. Afternoon parties round our way normally have prosecco for the non driving parents as well

Adasterdly that's why I would never have a whole class party!

The sooner I can drop and go, the better

I made really nice food for parents for 4 years and none of it ever got eaten! I was genuinely annoyed and offended. Party was over lunchtime. It all went to waste as everyone was too awkward to eat. I definitely enjoy some food for grown ups (or wine!), but my older one doesn’t have us stay anymore so now we just take ourselves out to lunch and leave her to it.

That's fair enough op! Given the choice id rather DC be able to invite more friends than put on food for parents but as I say that's the norm here, to not feed them. picking at leftovers is law though

So I have 15 kids coming to a soft type play party which is supervised. I've politely said it's a drop party. Around 10 parents (some are in couples have said they want to come too - that's another 5 quid a person for an adult. So it's another 50 quid on top plus they will want tea/coffee/snacks.

These parents see these events as social events for themselves. They don't supervise their kids when they are there either. I think adding another £80-100 to the cost of hosting the party is thoughtless.

I have never been to a party or had a party where they have supplied food for the adults 🤷‍♀️

But why don't you eat before you go? I never expect a meal at these things. Often parents are offered tea and biscuits but that's it surely?

I think it depends, if it’s a party the hosts have done themselves, in a church hall or something, where the parents are expected to stay, then I think a platter of sandwiches and a tray of cake or something and as much tea and coffee as they want is the norm.

If it’s at a venue where it’s a set package it’s often not included for parents. We have asked for food for parents at one such place in the past and a platter of sandwiches, bowls of chips and cups of tea and coffee came to £120 😳 so I wouldn’t do that again. The only reason we did was because it was a 3hr party over a lunch time (11-2). If I had my time again I would have just done a different type of party!

If it’s a party where the parents don’t need to stay, but a few choose to, I’d offer tea and coffee only. If it was in a hall where I’d done the food, I’d offer the leftovers. If it was somewhere with a set party deal, I’d only get them drinks.

Mostly the parents get leftover bits of the kids stuff.

We tend to try to feed the parents too. At a mid afternoon party we had cream teas for the parents!

Also forgot to say for the first couple of years of primary most people by us do whole class parties in a church hall or something. Nearly all the parents stay, often both parents. It’s a good way to get to know all the other parents too when you are seeing them for 30 parties each year!

@philomenabutterfly I feel your pain. I think there should be doggy bags for parents when this time comes.

One party I had for one of my kids, the leisure centre had a ‘no hot drinks’ policy, so I couldn’t offer tea or coffee to the adults there. We were told we could bring alcohol, though. So we offered beer and prosecco at a bouncy castle party.

Yes, Cheese platter with biscuits, grapes, nuts, apples, figs, dates selection of nice bread if the party is at home or in a village hall.
Wine in the winter and Pimms or Aperol in the summer.

Or

hotdogs- enough for everyone if that is what the children are having.

Not sure about swimming, soft play, roller skating parties, I would probably ask for a sharing platter of some sort.

I like hosting, even coffee tea and biscuits or cake are appreciated.

Yes, Kolo, doggy bags are the way to go once the DC are about 6! 😂

I’ve been you. The starving mother gazing longingly at a curled up cheese butty! So, I always make sure there’s good for adults. We’ve bought platters from subway, and when we have the parties at home, I usually throw something into the slow cooker. Always goes down well 😊

I've always provided food & drinks for the adults at Dds parties and have always been fed at parties I've attended, even if it's just coffee and biscuits. It doesn't cost much more to lay on a platter of sandwiches and some cake.

I'm a bit shocked at the amount of people who cheerfully say 'just tuck in after the children.'

I've seen where those hands have been. And it's not pretty. Frankly, adults should be allowed to help themselves before the tiny snot and worse covered fingers go anywhere near the food..

I alway bring a sandwich to eat because weather they feed me or not I don't want children's party food!

Once in a while is OK but I've had 3 parties in one weekend before.

And the party sandwiches are alway too small for me and without any onion or pickle
So o eat about 40000 crisps and biscuits.

How ridiculous you sound op! "Watching hungrily while they ate"it's a children s birthday party,Why on earth should you be expect to be fed as well?do you take siblings of the invited child and a dp and expect you all to be fed?utterly pathetic.I cannot believe you are actually serious!!For goodness sake get a grip.you cannot be this grabby and entitled,this is just a wind up.

Karmastar "utterly entitled and grabby" to would like a host offer a couple of sandwiches??? I am not asking for a 3 course meal ffs!!

I would offer this if I expected Parent's to stay for 3 hours supervising their DC over a lunch time. I think you need to get a grip!! No need for the dramatics 🙄

It's basically just good manners to offer the guests some refreshments while they are sitting bored off their tits waiting for the party to end. I've no idea why you think it's a wind up KarmaStar as most hosts do provide at least something for the adults. I went to one last week and while the kids tucked into their food they passed round the adults a couple of trays of costco wraps and sandwiches followed by some coffee and cake. Nothing excessive but it was very welcome.