To want to be fed at birthday parties?

[LurkNoFurther]

I have a 3 and 4 year old, so get lots of invites to birthday parties.

AIBU to expect some food at these parties?

For example, we had a party 12-3pm, food was served to the kids at 1.30pm. All the adults were standing behind their respective DC (small room) watching hungrily while they ate. There was a canteen there but it wasn't close to the party room and we had to be supervising our DC so no real option to get /eat lunch.

I could see some adults sneaking in a cold chicken nugget when they thought no one was looking!

At the end of the party I was so hungry, I ate the cake & sweets from the party bag!

It doesn't happen all the time, but I do myself getting annoyed when it does...

Now I'm not expecting a full on meal, but the hosts could have brought some home-made sandwiches that wouldn't have cost more than £20. Please consider the adults at these lunch time parties!

AIBU?

More like 5 hours if you have to travel and live somewhere like London.

Surely if you're in London there will be plenty of places to buy a snack somewhere near the party venue? Or bring one in your handbag! You don't have to be bear grylls to survive a primary school party without being fed!

Once at school age staying should be the exception

I have no problem with parents staying if they wish. In our case the kids only started school a few weeks ago and they may be nervous and want a parent to hang around. But I think that if parents choose to stay they are doing so because that's how they and/or their child feel more comfortable, they're not staying to help me out or because I've asked them to. So I don't really feel I should be obliged to feed them.

Whichschool Bear Grylls!

People STOP saying 'just make a plate of sandwiches' YOU CAN'T CATER SOFTPLAY TYPE PLACES.

Obviously, if you could, you would, for very little money. (Provided it wasn't a class party with two adults per child and I had forgotten the nightmare that is siblings)

People need to get a grip.

You ate your kids cake and sweets from the party bag? If it was the end of the party, why didn't you just buy yourself a sandwich from the canteen on the way out? Or just wait a little longer before you were home? Are you diabetic?

Yes cos most venues let you smuggle in your own jam sarnies

I was referring to parties at home. Of course you cannot bring your own food to venues, and shouldn't be expected to cater for parents there (as they can buy their own stuff).

Completely agree blueskiesandforest!!

Full supervision was required and the thought never occurred to me to 'bring a packed lunch.' Obviously I will be more prepared next time

As for eating the kids food, it was never really declared 'adults, kids have finished tuck in' so everyone stood around and the venue cleared the plates and brought out the jelly and ice cream. No one apart from one Dad I saw was picking at the kids food...

Of course, wherever you are in London there's somewhere to pop out and buy a sandwich. And is that even allowed if it's a party at somewhere like a softplay? Last one I went to and stayed was in a retail park only accessible by tram, I could have gone to Burger King, but would have had to smuggle my burger in. Thank goodness, my friend had laid on food, coffee and tea for adults too.

DS2 had his last party at home, drop and run, DD2 took a friend ice skating, friend was dropped at our house and we took her, had lunch in their diner afterwards.

But op as has already been established you could have got food, you had at least 2 opportunities, you just chose not to.

I'm starting to think the problem was actually having to put your hand in your own pocket?

I remember those parties with all the adults standing behind their children like footmen, trying to look like they were supervising what was eaten. All the savouries invariably are left untouched and the parents usually finished them off when the kids had gone back to the bouncy castle or whatever.

If it's a venue with a cafe then you are fine. If it's a sports hall it's nice to be able to get a coffee but it's enough work putting on a self catered kids party to start with and you might just have to learn to go prepared. Some parents this will be the first big party they've put on and they may not even have thought about it. Or be still reeling from the cost.

There was one awful venue near us popular for bouncy castle hire, a noisy flickery school sports hall with nothing but a maxpax machine. I soon learned to take a decent coffee and snack to those parties.

NotMe there were two awful venues when I was on the party rounds....one was a dilapidated sports hall, vintage Tizer bin stood on guard at the entrance...broken vending machines and chipped paint.

GOD it was depressing. The other was a smelly soft play which was about a pound a head cheaper than the nicer one up the road.

I could never fathom why people chose the stinking hole in favour of the decent one!

We had a softplay party last time and the venue did adult platters of food, teas & coffees - job done - most places offer this what's the big fuss???

If you want parents to stay then it's rude not to feed them and no way were we going to supervise 20 kids!!!!!!

I don't understand why people wouldn't think it was a good idea to organise food for parents? Everyone in our circle of friends just does that. I'd find it odd if they didn't to be honest

Parents could have, in pairs, watched a couple of children each while others went to fetch the 'lush chips' from the canteen! Simples!

I am just so glad now that mine are virtually all grown up (youngest is 16) and I have not had to run the gauntlet of children's parties for some years now.

I never specifically catered for any adults who elected to stay, beyond offering to make them tea or coffee. Food wise, we all just dived in for the leftovers once the kids had finished. It was the same at parties my kids were invited to as well.

I guess some on here would consider me a shit host.

@Adas Expense has nothing to do with it, it's about having some consideration when you are hosting an event.

I would always do this, and why it annoys me when others don't. It's people like you who are the stingy ones** and only think about themselves!

As PP have said, if you can't afford to do that, don't span a meal time. 10-1 or 2-5 would have been much better

But there was food there op? you CHOSE not to ask one of your friends to keep an eye on your kid for 5 mins and you CHOSE not to grab a sarnie at the end of it.

I don't think you know what your issue is either tbh.

you CHOSE not to ask one of your friends to keep an eye on your kid for 5 mins and you CHOSE not to grab a sarnie at the end of it.

^^This.

The original post sounds like something from Motherland! If you've seen the pilot with the spaghetti bolognese scene you'll know what I'm talking about.

'AIBU' (and a greedy mare)

resounding 'YES'

Response... No, 'other people are annoying and stingy' and 'it has nothing to do with expense'

DFOD. You're ridiculous. Go and eat a party bag quick, to cheer yourself up.

10-1 or 2-5 would have been much better

Agree, for you this would be better. For most adults though they can manage their food intake and there would be no issue.

Honestly, you've clearly got some issues with food, you can't miss a meal or control yourself if you do, and you only eat at very set times, so in future instead of complaining that people don't feed you and are stingy because they don't, just take some personal responsibility and manage your own food.

Am I being unreasonable to expect my family to get me a card when I just got promoted ?

I sympathise, OP, and have so far always had a couple of plates of nibbles to pass around to the parents (and 2 hour maximum parties so they don't have too long to wait for their own lunch afterwards). However, I've gone for venues with an option for self catering so it wasn't a big drama or expense. At soft play or similar party package venues, children's food is included in the per head cost for child guests. Catering for the parents through the venue would be ruinously expensive for the party child's parents, and bringing your own food is never permitted. So I completely understand that people generally leave parents to fend for themselves at these things.

OP - YANBU
I hate it when there is no food for the adults, I'm near fainting with hunger at these things!!!

No I don't think YABU.

At every single party we've had we've provided food and drinks for the adults as well.

When we've had partys at soft play places(and some of the parents stayed) were you have to have they're food, we've ordered food for all of the DC and then some extra food for the adults,so a couple of mixed platters of sandwiches,some crudites and dip,big bowls of crisps and some chicken nuggets and cocktail sausages,extra squash and some large pots of tea and coffee and a tray with muffins and flapjacks on.

When we've had the party's at a leisure center or large hall and we've provided the food we've made extra specifically for the parents and I'd go round and give them a plate each and tell them to get stuck in otherwise some people could be really hungry and still not eat unless you tell them that they can.

When the DC got older so partys at bowling,the cinema,out for a meal ect the parents don't stay so we only have to sort out all of the DC and ourselves.

But I can understand that not everyone can afford to provide extra food especially if the party is already costing them a small fortune and they have to buy the food from the place that the party's being held at.

I was at a party yesterday where food was provided for the adults. No one wanted it. It was nice food too, but everyone had made other plans, as no one expected there to be any. Maybe say on the invite if you are catering for parents, as the host yesterday had paid a caterer, which was such a waste.