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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want more than a salad for £40?

251 replies

permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 09/10/2018 17:02

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

OP posts:
Losingthewill1 · 09/10/2018 17:03

I wouldn’t spilt it , tell them they are being Very unreasonable.

Wouldn’t call them friends either

2slicesoftoast · 09/10/2018 17:04

Can you order something from the atarrwe menu to go with your salad and chips?

2slicesoftoast · 09/10/2018 17:05

oops. STARTER

sexnotgender · 09/10/2018 17:05

I’d be clear from the outset that you won’t be splitting the bill. It’s ludicrous.

hollygoflightly · 09/10/2018 17:05

YANBU. I'm a pescatarian and there's no way my friends would book a table in a steak restaurant if I were going out with them! There are so many lovely restaurants in the world, they just need to find one with a little more choice.

Mrsharrison · 09/10/2018 17:05

No you need to also pick some nice sides such as garlic bread, onion rings plus a big fuck off dessert.

user139328237 · 09/10/2018 17:05

Offer to attend this one but ask to arrange the next meal and book it for a fully vegetarian restaurant.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 09/10/2018 17:06

Agree with PP. Go with your first option.

Cheeky gits Grin

Original poster
permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 09/10/2018 17:06

Sadly, the salad is from the starter menu!
Other starters are shellfish (can't eat for religious reasons) or bread..

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 09/10/2018 17:06

Very cheeky, theirs will obviously cost much more. I would decline, they know you are both vegetarian, yet book it in a steakhouse, what the hell. They don't sound very considerate.

ApolloandDaphne · 09/10/2018 17:06

Can't you just say to them that you have checked the menu and there is nothing on it which is vegetarian so you won't be going unless they are happy to change the venue? They may not have realised there was nothing suitable for you on the menu. If they are good friends then they will sort it out and go elsewhere.

AamdC · 09/10/2018 17:07

I.just wouldnt go tbh why would anyone think vegetarians might enjoy a meal at a steak houseConfused

Aeroflotgirl · 09/10/2018 17:08

I would decline unless the venue is changed, or meet them after for drinks.

Doghorsechicken · 09/10/2018 17:08

You should not be splitting the bill! They are having the most expensive cut of meat & you’re having a salad! I’d point that out to them & order your own! I do think it’s fine that they’ve picked a steakhouse though. As long as they don’t pick there every time!

Fairylea · 09/10/2018 17:08

I wouldn’t go. They haven’t made it very inclusive for everyone have they? It’s not like a steakhouse is the only place they could have gone. Most restaurants do nice steak if that’s what they wanted and you could have had something else other than a salad!

Omeletteandbeans · 09/10/2018 17:09

I think that's really unusual actually - I very occasionally go to steakhouses for social reasons and there's always been a veggie option, even if it's only macaroni cheese or a microwave risotto. Could you phone them up and ask, on the off-chance that they have a separate vegetarian menu or would do you a plate of pasta?

Failing that I think if I were you I would suggest joining them post-slab of meat for pudding and drinks. I definitely wouldn't be paying £40 for a salad (unless it was a really fancy one with, I don't know, gold plated halloumi or something).

Storm4star · 09/10/2018 17:09

I just wouldn't book a steak house if there was a vegetarian in the group. It's one of the least "vegetarian friendly" places you can get! On that basis, I wouldn't attend. I think they could have done better!

Emma765 · 09/10/2018 17:10

That isn't a veggie option 🙄

I'd say I'd rather go out for dinner with my DH and meet them after.

cricketmum84 · 09/10/2018 17:10

I would tell them your only options are a side salad and fries so could they pick somewhere else.
If they still refuse then they aren't very nice friends!

lackingimagination · 09/10/2018 17:12

I’m struggling to believe that any restaurant in the UK that is £40 a head would only offer a side salad as the vegetarian option. This is one of those things you only ever hear about on MN.

BrokenWing · 09/10/2018 17:12

eat before to fill up, ask for main size dishes from starter menu, meet them after the meal for drinks, let them know you'll pay for your own and the rest can split...………

unless they go to a steak house every time you meet up then sometimes you need to compromise when you have decided to limit your food choices. would you rather they fancied a steakhouse meal and not invited you at all?

MargotLovedTom1 · 09/10/2018 17:13

If you want to see them then either be up front and say a steakhouse doesn't appeal, or just say you and DH will just pay for your own as obviously you don't fancy paying over the odds for a salad if you split the bill. The 'obviously' is important as it makes it clear it's a ridiculous proposition.
For the love of God don't go along with it then moan afterwards about being ripped off Wink.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2018 17:15

Go if you want to see them- just be very clear you won’t be sharing the bill as you’ll be snacking on a side order of chips.

If they’re decent people they’ll get it. And if they don’t- fuck them.

SerenDippyEggs · 09/10/2018 17:16

What good friend says "ah yes, I know where my veggie pals would love to eat.. a steak house!" Hmm

If you at all OP, make it clear you are NOT splitting that damn bill! No way in hell.

I love how they're already planning to split the bill equally - this means they are planning to get the pricier steak/wine/sides etc in the hope it will balance out with your poxy side saladsGrin

Aeroflotgirl · 09/10/2018 17:16

No even if they had a veggie option, I would not split the bill, yours is going to be way cheaper, why should you sub them. Very cheeky and inconsiderate.

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