Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want more than a salad for £40?

251 replies

permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 09/10/2018 17:02

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

OP posts:
pallisers · 09/10/2018 17:35

they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them.

No they didn't. They booked a STEAKhouse. the clue is in the name. They didn't give a curse whether you had something decent to eat or not and the splitting of the bill - given the average cost of a steak - is just pure cheek.

I'd say "oh sorry, really doesn't suit us - we'll meet you for a drink first and then catch you the next time". But stop kidding yourself that they actually cared about your vegetarian option - they didn't.

Rockbird · 09/10/2018 17:35

Came to say what Worra said. They've made absolutely no effort to find somewhere with you in mind. They've royally taken the piss in fact. I'd be busy that day I'm afraid.

Saracen · 09/10/2018 17:36

I'd first check with the restaurant directly that there hasn't been some misunderstanding. It's pretty unusual to have no vegetarian food, even at a steakhouse.

If the side salad and chips are really all that's available, then I think you should tell your friends no thanks, you can't eat there because there is no vegetarian meal for you. Side salad and chips is NOT a "vegetarian option". Nobody in their right mind would think it was. You're being offered a meat meal minus the steak, which is a ludicrous suggestion. Whoever organised this was either quite thoughtless or deliberately trying to upset you.

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/10/2018 17:36

Is it somewhere like Miller & Carter? There are vegetarian options and I'd be surprised if most steak houses don't have at least a couple. I'm another who thinks you might be missing a bit of the menu.

Allthewaves · 09/10/2018 17:37

Have you rung the restaurant to check they have vegetarian option? Most steakhouses have alternatives

JakeBallardswife · 09/10/2018 17:38

Something along the lines if '' having looked at the menu, its not going to work for us as there's no veggie options, how about xxx or xxx ( insert restaurants as needed) instead?'

PaulDacrreRimsGeese · 09/10/2018 17:39

Just as an example, this steakhouse isn't far from me:

thehawksmoor.com/locations/manchester/food/lunch-dinner/

Clearly not a particularly amazing selection, but that's still two starter dishes and one main suitable for a vegetarian. I just don't understand how even if they want to eat a lot of meat, they didn't pick somewhere that you could at least eat something!

Chrisinthemorning · 09/10/2018 17:40

In terms of splitting the bill, can you drink a lot?Grin

SausageOnAFork · 09/10/2018 17:46

I’m struggling to believe that any restaurant in the UK that is £40 a head would only offer a side salad as the vegetarian option. This is one of those things you only ever hear about on MN.

There are lots. Or with one crappy vegi option.

Leeds2 · 09/10/2018 17:46

Ask the person who told you that there was something suitable for veggies on the menu what exactly it was. S/he cannot have meant you to be stuck with a bowl of chips, so just wondering if they have seen something that you have missed.
Personally, I think a steak restaurant with vegetarians in the group is odd. In my experience, they usually offer more than chips, but often not a choice.

HomeMadeMadness · 09/10/2018 17:48

What steak house is it? It's unusual for there to be no vegetarian options at all!

In terms of splitting the bill most people usually don't expect vegetarians or non drinkers to join in on this.

Cashewsandhummus · 09/10/2018 17:50

Definitely do not split. Cheeky bugger(s). Among my friends often people who had less offer to split equally but that is a nice gesture coming from them and it's either refused or made up in another way.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/10/2018 17:50

I've just checked on the Aberdeen Steak House menu which I think must be the most unreconstructed steak house ever and there's 6-7 starter options and 4 mains options. Check again OP

HomeMadeMadness · 09/10/2018 17:50

I do think a steakhouse is an odd choice if there are veggies in the group as there often isn't a big choice of dishes (although I've never been to one with at least one. Or a selection of starters you could combine into a main - post a link OP!)

QueSera · 09/10/2018 17:51

That is extremely rude of them to want to split the bill - knowing that you won't be eating steak, and that steak is expensive! Maybe they just forgot that you won't be eating the steak? You should just tell them you'd rather pay for your own items, as the restaurant doesn't have many vegetarian options. (As an aside, on a recent trip to North America I discovered that all the restaurants we went to with friends and family automatically split the bill so that you only paid for the items you ordered. It was heaven! From a fellow veggie Smile)

colditz · 09/10/2018 17:52

They don't want you to go.

dollydee · 09/10/2018 17:52

As a vegetarian, going for a meal in a steakhouse would be a nightmare for me Shock

BikeRunSki · 09/10/2018 17:53

I’d be clear from the outset that you won’t be splitting the bill. It’s ludicrous.

This. Your mates are cf. I am veggie, I refuse to split the bill. I’m also usually driving. No amount of salad, bread and J20 is worth £40.

I also hate when there is a decent veggie option which doesn’t involve fekkin goats cheese or puff pastry and it costs the same as a huge slab of meat.

iliketomoveitmoveitMOVEIT · 09/10/2018 17:53

Are you sure there isn’t a separate veggie menu? I’m vegetarian and I’ve eaten at gaucho and hawksmoor with no problem; they’ve always done a risotto or something!

PattiStanger · 09/10/2018 17:54

No way should you split the bill, I was caught out by this with a group of not very close friends and it really spoilt the evening for me.

Luckily I haven't been asked to go out with them again, I'd definitely decline

ImogenTubbs · 09/10/2018 17:54

Contact the restaurant and ask if they can prepare something for you.

Womaningreen · 09/10/2018 17:57

OP they're taking the piss and sadly, I think probably trying to make a point

I've def had some work issues with posh places having no veggie option, some restaurants are also making a point of some kind I think.

I would talk to them about but but tbh I'd be wondering what's behind such an odd choice.

VerbeenaBeeks · 09/10/2018 17:57

Can you link to the menu with dietary requirements and we’ll help. Love reading menus

Ooh yes, I love reading and planning what I want to eat on random menus Blush Grin
As someone who usually eats the vegan option and is well used to the veggie options too, I'll easily weed out what's good to eat!

caoraich · 09/10/2018 18:00

Urgh, I've had this done to me before too. It was also a steakhouse - there was one veggie starter (salad) and the non-meat main was salmon... I stupidly showed up having been told there was a "veggie option" - I'm generally not fussy and was prepared to eat a generic risotto/ mac&cheese or similar.

They did make me a "big" salad as a main, but didn't have any other ingredients for stuff that wasn't on the menu, so it wasn't like they could whip up some pasta or something.

However - my friends were all a bit embarrassed, the person who had checked the "veggie options" was insistent that she thought salmon was vegetarian, and the rest of them ganged up on her. It was a bit awful actually, but quite funny.

Anyway the difference is that my friends all agreed I shouldn't have to split their bill and I paid separately - they also refused to let me chip in for the wine.

Your friends are being VV unreasonable to expect you to split the bill! I presume this is where the idea of £40 has come from. You'd effectively be subsidising them!

If I were you I'd send a cheery message saying you'd love to see them but the menu doesn't suit you so you'll meet them for a drink afterwards, or perhaps for pudding if they're planning to stay for that.

ChasedByBees · 09/10/2018 18:00

That’s thoughtless or a deliberate point. No way should you go and no way should you split the bill.

Swipe left for the next trending thread