To want more than a salad for £40?

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

Other starters are shellfish (can't eat for religious reasons)

Surely you mean “can’t eat because I’m vegetarian”?

They haven’t chosen somewhere with a vegetarian option, they’ve chosen somewhere that serves side dishes of vegetables.

Surely you mean “can’t eat because I’m vegetarian”? hmm

The OP could be vegetarian for religious reasons.

No way. I wouldn’t go. I’m fed up with people thinking if you’re veggie 1.youre fine with tiny portions, 2.youre happy with salad (when ‘salad’ means a bit of limp lettuce, and hard orange tomatoes). No excuse. Loads of great restaurants - a steakhouse lacks all imagination even if you do eat meat. I’d just say I don’t eat side salads as a main course, so sit this one out. Hopefully see you next time.

Sounds like they have form and are used to you subbing their meals.

I have looked on my local steakhouse and there is nothing,zilch,nada you could eat.Its all steak and steak.

Offer to meat them for a drink,but if you do go dont go halves

they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them.

No they didn't they made no effort at all. They booked a steakhouse when two of the party are vegetarian. Its not at all unusual for steakhouses or surf/turf/lobster places to have no veggie option (or some weird concoction which doesn't go with anything else on the menu).

Salad and chips is a bloody insult, expecting you to sit there with salad and pay for their bloody steak is outrageous.

To those saying `don't go', why should the OP miss out on a fun night out because of the poor choice of restaurant?

But I do find it hard to believe that any restaurant in the UK does not have any actual meals that are vegetarian, even a steakhouse. Vegetarian and vegan ism has increased in popularity hugely recently and restaurants have responded really well and most restaurants now have several options that are actually really decent. Massive change on a few years ago where the token vegetarian option was off a short list of tired cliches.

A side salad is not a main course. As there is no main course suitable for you, you ought really to say you're not going (and as for paying forty quid for it...!)

If they even expect you to split that for a salad that's disgusting. Fucking imbeciles.

My Jewish friends don't eat shellfish as it's forbidden, like pork.

Does the restaurant have the word steak in the name? Seems a bit odd that your friends would book it. Let's have a look at the menu, it's the only way to properly judge who IBU.

I think the OP might be pescatarian as I am. So if Jewish or from some religion that doesn't allow certain forms of fish/shellfish then that's even more limited.

Me and DH are vegetarian and although most restaurants have at least one veggie dish (usually pretty boring but veggie all the same) there are definitely a few restaurants that don't have a veggie option.

We are always surprised that in this day and age of so many people being vegetarian or even vegan some places don't want to cater for them

But I do find it hard to believe that any restaurant in the UK does not have any actual meals that are vegetarian, even a steakhouse.

IME there are still a great many in the UK who have nothing or the same tired repeated single veggie option of the season (I still have flashbacks to the year of goats cheese with beetroot and the equally dire year of nut fettucine - both cook chill specials appearing in supposedly upmarket restaurants).

Some of the trendier steak/lobster type places make a feature of not doing veggie options.

I would eat before you go and have a drink,coffee or dessert when you get there- and pay for only that.

There is NO vegetarian option. There are vegetarian side orders. Tell her you won't be going . They are being unreasonable. Most restaurants have at least 2 vege meals these days, a sreakhouse is taking the piss!

I'm a pescatarian and would be disappointed getting taken to a steakhouse. I don't think you are being unreasonable not wanting to pay £40 for a salad. I'd be the exact same. Italian or tapas would be a better fit as they offer far more vegetarian options x

I'm confused about 1) there being absolutely no veggie option at an upmarket steakhouse 2) the whole shellfish / vegetarian / religion issue.

Suggest an Indian restaurant.

They don't sound much like friends- surely they know of your food preferences- it's not being every accommodating of them to book a steakhouse.

How big is the group of friends?

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon Are you able to name the restaurant they have booked?

Just tell them you can't eat there (sides only) but will join them for pudding. No way they will suggest splitting the bill then. And if they really want you there for the full meal they'll choose somewhere else.

Arrange to meet up with them after meal they have had their main meal for deserts. Don't split bill as only having dessert. Offer to arrange nice Italian for next venue. They always do lots of gorgeous veggie options.

Check with the restaurant. Even if there isn’t anything official on the menu, they should be able to sort something out.

What's confusing? I and other experienced veggies have repeatedly stated while matters are improving (and I certainly remember being expected to be grateful if a chef knocked up an omelette and chips for me in a top notch restaurant - frankly they'd a nerve calling themselves a chef!) there are still restaurants that barely cater for veggies.

Re shellfish - veggies don't eat fish! They are animals and veggies don't eat animals. Pescatarians eat fish but no meat or poultry.

Some religions - Judaism prohibits shellfish as do some denominations of Muslim Faith. I've even known a few Christians not eat shellfish on religious grounds.

They don't sound much like friends. I vote don't go. Definitely definitely don't split the bill.