To want more than a salad for £40?

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

The menus in most of the decent restaurants in my city comprise only about 30% meat dishes these days, so I'd imagine that's probably the same in most cities.

I would be seriously hacked off if my friends booked a steakhouse if I was vegetarian for that reason.

I think "upmarket" is the clue - the more expensive the restaurant the less they seem to cater for veggies, let alone vegans. Fwiw Macdonalds do!

You could ring the steakhouse, explain that you are vegetarian and see if they will cook you a separate meal. I have done this in hotels and never been refused. Otherwise, go and only pay for your share or order yourself a bottle of champagne, Hic!

**AllTakenSoRubbishUsername

I would value the friendship rather than complaining about the food or how much to pay or not pay. I think bill-splitting is so petty, personally. Do they not do some nice options like stuffed mushrooms or something? Maybe if you emailed them in advance they might do something nice for you.**

^Your are completely missing the point. What friends choose a steakhouse with no vegetarian options for their vegetarian friends? Then wants the vegetarians to subsidise their expensive meat meals.

These people are no friends of the OPs

Is this restaurant one of those Brazillian 'all you can eat' places where they bring the meat out on skewers to serve you at the table?

They charge a price per head to be served the meat and a slightly cheaper price if you only want the sides/salad buffet. The buffet is usually really good - lots of interesting salads with cheese, eggs, pulses etc that can make a proper meal, not just green salad and chips, but unless you like to eat a lot of meat they are expensive for what they are, and especially so if you're only having the buffet.

I don't see the attraction really - as other have said, steak is very quick and easy to cook at home, so not something I have when I eat out. If I'm paying restaurant prices, I want something that's time consuming or fiddly to make, or needs unusual ingredients, that I'm not likely to have at home.

" I think bill-splitting is so petty, personally."

I think it depends on how much the difference is. If I was eating a £10 meal and subsidising everyone else's £40 meal then I wouldn't be happy about splitting the bill.

On the other hand if you are only talking about a few ££ then I would just go along with it.

Years ago OH and I once went to a retirement meal. I was driving and had no alcohol. everyone else drank loads of wine and liqueurs. We ended up very out of pocket and felt very resentful as a result.

I once paid £20 for a bowl of chips and an apple juice for ds2 as we went for a meal for a relative's birthday in a curry house where there was nothing else 3 year old ds2 could eat, and it was decided by some "It's all so petty and tight to insist on paying only for what you had, splitting the bill equally is so much nicer" types that the bill would be split per head and dc counted equally with adults. If it's petty of me to think that's rubbish then fine, I'll be petty. Far better petty than a freeloading git who thinks their expensive food and drink choices should be subsidised by others.

I suspect that the poster who thinks it is petty to split very uneven bills has loads of money mostdays

Can't link to the menu as don't want to out self and there's only one of it! It's very limited and geared very much to the steak-eater (think Black Lock but more limited in general)
Religious dietary restriction preceded the vegetarianism so even if they'd somehow forgotten the vegetarianism, they would have remembered the shellfish? Dunno. Don't eat fish these days anyway.
Shall find an alternative that caters for all and suggest that; if all else fails I'll join them for a pint. What a tangled web!

Just ask for your own billet the start ?
It may not go down well but your own bill will be a lot less than theirs.
It's only fair.

"I think bill-splitting is so petty, personally."

I agree if it's a couple of quid, but not if it's some people having steak and someone else having a green salad. Or, as is my usual scenario as a non-drinker, me having a fizzy water and everyone else having bottles of wine and G&Ts.

ld value the friendship rather than complaining about the food or how much to pay or not pay. I think bill-splitting is so petty, personally. Do they not do some nice options like stuffed mushrooms or something

I would value a friendship by not expecting a friend to pay £40 for side dishes!

Op has repeatedly said one menu no vege options so why are you inferring op cant read and they have them?

No way would i pay £40 for a starter salad. As has been said over and over not all places have decent vege choices. You dont go out for a meal to eat a starter only while everyone else tucks in to a main course.

Agreed Willow What friends does that ?

I think you need to call the restaurant and see if they can rustle up an alternative, they must have this happening.

If that fails and your friends don't want to go elsewhere...pint it is!

Surely they do pastas or vege burgers?

You would be surprised especially they more upmarket. I'm coeliac and the more expensive/exclusive the restaurant the less option usually.

As someone said further down the thread McDonald's caters for most which I think says a lot.

Surely they do pastas or vege burgers?"

I'm struggling to understand why some posters don't get that quite a few steak places do NOT do pasta and veggie burgers in any shape or form .

Our local steak place doesn't do any burgers at all, and just does one pasta dish that has fish in it

SO MANY posters REFUSING to accept DESPITE myself and other veggies/vegans/posters with food allergies/intolerances making it VERY CLEAR that we KNOW there are still restaurants out there that do NOT cater to veggies etc even now in 2018.

It's getting better and is certainly much improved from when I turned veggie 30 years ago when I was pretty much limited to specific Italian, Indian or specialist vegetarian restaurants BUT

YES There are STILL restaurants out there. Even in major cities who BARELY stretch to a side salad and chips!

Or are these posters just not reading either the thread or op's posts? And if THAT is the case you are stunningly both ignorant and arrogant.,

On long threads I don't always read all pps but I DO read the op's posts at least, surely that's good manners and sensible?

Exactly Graphista

DD is vegetarian so we tend to eat Indian/Thai/Italian when we go out.

Of course there are places where there aren't any veggie options. I've a local one where the only item that would pass for veggie is the side salad, even the chips are cooked in animal fats.

Some posters here have a very blinkered view.....

Chain restaurants tend to be much better at catering for allergies and other dietary restrictions - because their marketing people have worked out that they make more money if they can appeal to a wider range of customers. DS is coeliac & the classic example is pretty much ALL the pizza chains offer gluten-free pizzas.

But as a PP noted, smaller, independent restaurants are less likely to do this.

"Some posters here have a very blinkered view....."

They do indeed MulticolourMophead. We can get some very good veggie food where I live, just not at a steakhouse.

I'm not veggie, but DD's BF is. I make veggie food when he's here for a meal, or we go somewhere with decent optioins. Why should I make him uncomfortable? I'm not going to wilt if I don't get meat at a meal sometimes?

I've just had some macaroni cheese for goodness sake, a meatless meal that I bet no end of meat eaters will have forgotten they eat.

I worked in various restaurants over 15 years and the vegetarian options have never been great. I recall thinking that I could never be vegetarian because I hate mushrooms, goats cheese and olives and I think 99% of the vegetarian options were made with these.
Even now 10 years on looking at our 2 local restaurant menus there is just one lone vegetarian option in both places. Any vegetarian who didn't like the given choice would, I assume, have to go and request a specially made meal. And those choices are mushroom or goats cheese based. Surely things should have moved on by now.

Surely they do pastas or vege burgers?

Op- ^The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips^

Op -^theres only one menu^

Which part is difficult to understand?