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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want more than a salad for £40?

251 replies

permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 09/10/2018 17:02

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

OP posts:
rookiemere · 09/10/2018 19:37

I'd email the group and say what you've said here - that there is no vegetarian main course, so rather than go there and have a side salad you'll eat beforehand and meet them for drinks at the end.

Honestly it really takes some doing to find a restaurant with no vegetarian main course and also to pick a steak house when you're out with vegetarians. The choice of restaurant seems a bit passive aggressive.

Santaclarita · 09/10/2018 19:38

That's really odd that even a steak house doesn't have any veggie option. I know it's a steak house but even so. I wouldn't go. It's not worth it for that price.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 09/10/2018 19:40

Surely you wouldn't eat shellfish anyway because you're a vegetarian? Unless you're a fish and chipocrite? Grin

speakout · 09/10/2018 19:41

I think it's rude to go to a steakhouse with no choice for you knowing that you are vegetarian.

There are plenty restaurants that cater well for vegetarians, Indian is usually very good, as is Italian.
Italian restaurants usually do good streaks for those that want them.

blue25 · 09/10/2018 19:41

Sorry, but you have to fit in with the majority when eating out or you don't go. I also find it hard to believe there are no other options on the menu for you. I think perhaps you have very very fussy tastes (not just veggie) and are being dramatic.

speakout · 09/10/2018 19:43

Can you name the steakhouse OP? Is is a chain?

DarlingNikita · 09/10/2018 19:46

Don't be daft, blue.

And what's so confusing about the veggie/shellfish/religion thing?

OP a) is veggie
b) has a religious restriction on eating shellfish

The two may both stem from religion. Or she may avoid shellfish for religious reasons and be veggie for other reasons.

Quite simple really.

Purplejay · 09/10/2018 19:50

Ask the restaurant. I would be amazed if they can’t offer you a proper meal even if it is just a full sized salad option.

MorningsEleven · 09/10/2018 19:52

fish and chipocrite

Love it 🤗

SuburbanRhonda · 09/10/2018 19:54

The OP could be vegetarian for religious reasons

She could be, but she said she didn’t eat shellfish for religious reasons, not that she was vegetarian for religious reasons.

GiraffeObsessedBaby · 09/10/2018 20:00

To those of you saying that it's very unlikely there's no vegetarian option you're sadly mistaken. I'm vegetarian and husband is a meat eater. We still triple check every time we go out somewhere new that there is an option for me - you'd be surprised at how many don't have options and if they do!

OP you're friends aren't being considerate they're being damned selfish. No way would I be going and I think my response would be on the sarcastic side to the request I pay £40 a head for a side salad and some chips!

Catalicious · 09/10/2018 20:00

As an example, Flat Iron don’t advertise anything vegetarian on their menu. Blacklock is the same. Perhaps you have to ask - but based on their website, it doesn’t cater for veggies.

It does happen, and it does surprise me how many people thinking OP are making it up. There are quite a few London restaurants I’ve had to rule out.

theymademejoin · 09/10/2018 20:02

And what's so confusing about the veggie/shellfish/religion thing?

The religious bit is redundant as if she's vegetarian, she obviously would not eat shellfish.

Completely irrelevant comment as by saying she is vegetarian, she has already indicated she doesn't eat shellfish so nobody would expect her to eat a shellfish option.

AamdC · 09/10/2018 20:02

Well not really blue i think a Steak house is an odd choice if you knowngly have vegetarian people im your party because its going to specoalise in Steaks even f there is a veggie option i imagine its limited why not gp for a more mainstream restaurant if you have people. different requirements

Ravenesque · 09/10/2018 20:04

I wouldn't go. I'm a pesecetarian but eat very little fish, so an almost vegetarian.

I'm happy for people to eat meat - well in a way I'm sort of not, but that's my issue and not other people's so roll your neck in Raven - and I'm definitely happy to go out to a restaurant with omnivores. But a steak house? That's just taking the piss.

Ravenesque · 09/10/2018 20:07

Actually I've never liked steak houses. To me they're just an eat in McDonald's for people who want their meet a bit better and no buns around it.

About a million years ago (I still ate some meat back then) I went on a date with a chap who took me to see Snoopy the Musical (wtaf!) and then for a meal in an Aberdeen Steak House. I was very nice throughout because he was being a gentleman but it was just about the worse date I could imagine. The next morning he sent a friend up with a bunch of roses and a card saying that he was going back to Germany and couldn't live without me so would I please marry him. Reader, I did not marry him.

LoniceraJaponica · 09/10/2018 20:08

“I just wouldn't book a steak house if there was a vegetarian in the group”

Neither would I. It is just selfish and thoughtless. DD is vegetarian so we always go and eat at places that offer a wide choice of vegetarian options when she is with us.
They clearly aren’t good friends if they choose a steakhouse and ask you to subsidise them.

“But I do find it hard to believe that any restaurant in the UK does not have any actual meals that are vegetarian, even a steakhouse.”

For those of you who struggle to believe that there are no vegetarian options at a steakhouse, I have just checked the menu of our local steakhouse, and none of the mains in the evening menu are vegetarian. Half of the starters are, and they offer a choice of chips cooked in dripping or vegetable oil, but it is definitely not a place that vegetarians would feel welcome at in the evening.

SerenDippitty · 09/10/2018 20:09

Just checked Steak of the Art and they have three veggie starters plus a pasta risotto and salad section.

grumiosmum · 09/10/2018 20:09

I don't get why anyone would want to go to a steak house?

It's a very expensive way to eat steak, which is not exactly hard to cook well at home.

VerbenaGirl · 09/10/2018 20:09

Even steakhouses have more than chips and salad as a veggie option?! Think you need to do a bit of research and find out wha the full menu is?

Hoopaloop · 09/10/2018 20:11

Eat before you go, do in £40 of wine and tell your mates that they are nobs.

LoniceraJaponica · 09/10/2018 20:11

I am going to shout here

There are some steakouses that exist that have no vegetarian main courses. Our local one doesn't

Stop trying to make out that the OP is making it up Hmm

SerenDippitty · 09/10/2018 20:13

I’m not suggesting the OP is making it up. Their friends should have chosen an Italian, or an Indian.

MulticolourMophead · 09/10/2018 20:14

Completely irrelevant comment as by saying she is vegetarian, she has already indicated she doesn't eat shellfish so nobody would expect her to eat a shellfish option.

My son's cookery teacher from last year would. They did vegetarian food one week and DS was marked down as he'd not included pescetarians as a form of vegetarian. I politely emailed the teacher and explained in words of one syllable why she was wrong.

fiorentina · 09/10/2018 20:14

Are you sure there’s not a separate veggie menu? When I’ve been to steak restaurants such as Gaucho or Hawksmoor there have been?
Or contact them to ask what they can cook a vegetarian. I’m sure they won’t want to lose a big booking if they don’t cater for you.