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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To correct this?

369 replies

TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:08

If your title was Dr and your child’s teacher kept referring to you as Mrs (a fair enough assumption on their part), would you correct them? And if you did, would you sound like you’re a bit up yourself? I’m aware of people correcting to Ms, Miss or Mrs, but not to anything else. TIA

OP posts:
MarklahMarklah · 09/10/2018 16:10

Yes, I would. Not in a rude manner, but simply point out that the correct title was Dr.

Badgerandmole · 09/10/2018 16:11

I don’t think it would BU to correct them but if it was something you could get over I wouldn’t bother. It would just cause unnecessary awkwardness!

Nicknacky · 09/10/2018 16:11

In all honesty I would probably have told them to call me by my first name. Why be so formal?

thenightsky · 09/10/2018 16:12

I don't think I'd bother as I'm not sure I could manage to make it not sound arsy.

florenceheadache · 09/10/2018 16:13

Dr. only in professional capacity. When out and about Jane Doe. Regardless of what type of doctorate degree.

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:14

Yes I agree about first name terms but it’s when you help out on school trips they like to give everyone a title in front of the children. I don’t have anything against the title Mrs, but it’s not my name and Mrs TrainsandDiggers is my MIL in my mind!

OP posts:
anewyear · 09/10/2018 16:17

If it were me, I'd want them to call me by my first name, simply as I'm helping out/I would know most of them, and I'm not there in a professional (ie teacher) capacity..

LexieLulu · 09/10/2018 16:17

I would probably sign a letter "Dr Lexie Lulu" at next chance?

Lethaldrizzle · 09/10/2018 16:19

If you're married then Mrs! Doctor seems a bit unnecessary in that context.

PinkHeart5914 · 09/10/2018 16:20

It’s not like the teacher is doing it to annoy you, I mean they aren’t going to assume everyone is a doctor now are they. Most people when pointing out “oh it’s Dr actually” do end up look a bit well knobish tbh.

Also I think in this situation with regards to helping on school trips why can’t the dc call you Mrs Trains, Dr is very formal for that situation really isn’t it?

Feellikeimthemaid · 09/10/2018 16:20

In a professional capacity then yes, if I could say it without sounding pompous. For the purposes of school trips, the no, I wouldn't insist on the kids calling me Dr TrainsandDiggers. You're just another mum to them and no need to be so formal with young ones.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/10/2018 16:21

I'd probably say "It's Dr... but please call me [first name]"

And I'd probably make a bigger thing of it on a school trip, show the girls they too can be Drs (whichever kind) and the boys that women can be assertive, respected, successful in their own right.

and yes, I'd sign everything "DrCurious"

Nicknacky · 09/10/2018 16:23

Please don’t make an issue of it to the kids on the school trip like the poster above has said!

JeanPagett · 09/10/2018 16:25

I understand why it grates, particularly because I can't help but think the teacher would remember you were a Dr if you were a man.

However, I can't help but feel deep down that people who insist on their titles outside of a work context are a bit wanky Blush. Sorry!

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:25

Thank you all. I certainly would prefer first name above any title, but would rather have my own title if it’s insisted upon that I use one.

Curious - good point. I think it is harder for women than for men and it’s interesting what message that sends to young children.

PinkHearts - I think I made it clear in my OP that I thought it was a fair enough assumption on the part of the teacher.

OP posts:
DreamsofJacaranda · 09/10/2018 16:26

I don’t see the relevance of the title “Dr.” unless in a professional capacity. Why does it bother you to be called “Mrs.” ? Or are you expecting a bit of deference? Confused

loveyoutothemoon · 09/10/2018 16:26

I wouldn't!

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:27

JeanP - I agree - they do sound wanky! ...But also annoying to not be able to use your own title! Hey ho! There are bigger problems in life, but thanks for your thoughts and ideas everyone!

OP posts:
Returnofthesmileybar · 09/10/2018 16:29

If you asked me to call you Dr. on a school trip I would think you were a complete gobshite and eye roll at how up yourself you were

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:29

Dreams - I’m not sure why it bothers me so much and have often wondered about this. I don’t think it’s about reverence so much as identity. I know friends who get very upset if people don’t refer to them as Ms rather than Miss/Mrs.

OP posts:
TruelyTruelyScrumptious · 09/10/2018 16:29

Do any of the school staff use the title doctor? That would be the determining factor for me

Nicknacky · 09/10/2018 16:30

It’s a school trip, that’s all. Don’t think too deeply about it.

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:32

Just to clarify - I would prefer the teachers AND the children to call me by my first name. I’m not there as a teacher, just a volunteer. BUT, (minor issue in the grand scheme of things) I also don’t like having the wrong title attributed to me. Same goes for letters from school. If it were Miss to Mrs I would feel the same I think.

In all honesty, I doubt I’ll ever correct them, but just wondering what the general consensus was on this.

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 09/10/2018 16:35

DreamsofJacaranda Tue 09-Oct-18 16:26:34
I don’t see the relevance of the title “Dr.” unless in a professional capacity. Why does it bother you to be called “Mrs.” ? Or are you expecting a bit of deference? Confused

Maybe because it's her name? You wouldn't continue to call a married woman that changed her name Miss.MaidenName, would you?

greenlynx · 09/10/2018 16:37

We had quite a few people with this title at primary and they always were Mr/Mrs or even Jane’s Dad at school and at school trips. I also wouldn’t insist on using my first name in this situation, I would go with school rules.