Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To correct this?

369 replies

TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 16:08

If your title was Dr and your child’s teacher kept referring to you as Mrs (a fair enough assumption on their part), would you correct them? And if you did, would you sound like you’re a bit up yourself? I’m aware of people correcting to Ms, Miss or Mrs, but not to anything else. TIA

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 09/10/2018 17:37

jodie You might want to read the thread as there are posters with the same title commenting on it......

stevie69 · 09/10/2018 17:40

If I'd worked to get a doctorate I would like it to be acknowledged as my title, however I think you do sound a bit up yourself OP!

No, she doesn't at all.

MrBirlingsAwfulWife · 09/10/2018 17:43

But why does working hard and becoming a doctor earn you a title but working hard and becoming an architect doesn't?

stevie69 · 09/10/2018 17:46

And to answer the question ..... if formal titles are required then let's have them right.

I was at a formal hearing once and was addressed as 'Ms B'. I said, please do call me Stevie, to which the reply was that the hearing would be conducted using formal titles only. So I asked to be called 'Miss B' which is my preferred form of address. When I get my PhD, I'll be Dr B in formal circles.

stevie69 · 09/10/2018 17:47

But why does working hard and becoming a doctor earn you a title but working hard and becoming an architect doesn't?

Sometimes that's just the way it is Blush

noctu · 09/10/2018 17:47

My title is Dr and if something e.g. a form or someone asks for my title I'll tell them. It's not a brag, or being self centred or up myself. It's just the fact of the matter - it's my title.
Mrs/Miss/Ms - not my title so I won't use any of them, and prefer others not to use it for me either (as I don't appreciate the married/not married titular stuff for women)
All of the academics and medical doctors I know (I'm an academic in a medical school) use Dr in their professional and personal lives, it's quite normal.

Nicknacky · 09/10/2018 17:48

stevie But that’s a formal environment and perfectly understandable. This is a school trip as a helper.

ScarletAnemone · 09/10/2018 17:48

I would try and just ignore it. I’ve worked in schools and been a parent helper on school trips, and seen just how many hundreds of balls the teacher is trying to juggle. I wouldn’t want to load the teacher any further with things to remember.

However I’d make sure my title was right in the database for when letters get sent home.

Kool4katz · 09/10/2018 17:48

I think it's important that the teacher does call you Dr. and encourages the children to do so as well.
It's hugely important for young children to see positive female role models instead of the vacuous wankers on reality tv.

Tippexy · 09/10/2018 17:49

@Helendee

“Surely it’s only Dr in a professional capacity? Unless you’re on duty permanently you’re a Miss/Mrs/Ms like the majority of us when you’re not working.”

A common misconception but you aren’t incorrect. Upon becoming an academic or medical doctor, your correct title changes to Dr and you are no longer Mrs etc.

mamansnet · 09/10/2018 17:49

Unless you're a medical doctor, I would probably avoid telling her. People like to know who qualified medical staff are. Nobody cares about a PhD.

Comeymemo · 09/10/2018 17:50

This just reminded me of a Dr mum at DS’s old school, who used to sign off all her personal emails with the full list of all her medical qualifications. Something like:
“Hi Comey,
So pleased Bobby is coming to Tim’s party!

Dr Leila Khan OCOG PRF CD-R ESA RUG HTR QACK ( yes I’m making these up).”

🙄

Tippexy · 09/10/2018 17:50

Christ I hate this autocorrect.

You are incorrect that should be...

Tippexy · 09/10/2018 17:51

@mamansnet Actually a PhD is the only true doctor; medical doctors may use the title as a favour to them, essentially! True fact Wink

noctu · 09/10/2018 17:55

@Tippexy exactly Smile

Kool4katz · 09/10/2018 17:56

Tippexy That's not entirely true. A medic who has completed further study/research might have been awarded a higher doctorate so a Doctor of Medicine or MD. Not to be confused with the generic title of MD used in the States.

Redyoyo · 09/10/2018 17:57

Years ago one of dd friends mum corrected another one of the mums, that she was doctor and not mrs Smith, we were at soft play fgs, it was a bit arsey to be honest and it stuck in my head.

Original poster
TrainsandDiggers · 09/10/2018 17:58

Whilst I don’t want the thread to be about me specifically, as people keep asking, I trained as a medical dr, then decided to change career to one requiring a professional doctorate. Personally, I found the latter harder to get, but others may have different experiences.

OP posts:
BuggertheTabloids · 09/10/2018 18:00

@Tippexy
That's not true I'm afraid. An MD is also a doctorate and is the academic equivalent of a PhD.
In the UK an MD is a doctorate and is a higher degree undertaken by qualified medic.
This is not the case in theUSA where MD is the name of the first medical degree though.
Plenty of UK doctors I know have a doctorate - either MD or PhD - as well as their first medical degree.

pallisers · 09/10/2018 18:03

It comes to mind that we wouldn't be having this conversation about a male Dr. Mainly because most people would accord that man his official title. Very few men ever have to remind people more than once, if at all, in my experience!

dh is a dr and would never use the title in a non-professional capacity especially not in a school tour setting and certainly wouldn't correct the teacher introducing him. There is no way to do that - male or female - without sounding incredibly wanky (and having the piss taken out of you for evermore by your own embarrassed children in our family)

I didn't change my name when I married and am my own name on all school documents etc. My kids have my husband's surname. On school tours the kids generally called me Mizz His Name as that was the surname they knew. I didn't correct them. life's too short.

Tippexy · 09/10/2018 18:03

Immodest women are so uppity and annoying!

Tippexy · 09/10/2018 18:05

It is true. In the UK medical doctors are afforded the title Dr as a courtesy.

KurriKurri · 09/10/2018 18:05

Trainsanddiggers - I think that probably qualifies you to be called DrDr Grin - go for it !

Medical Drs like to be called Miss/Mr if they become surgeons - one corrected me the other day, I didn't know she was a surgeon, but I learned because the nurse corrected me, and I didn;t mind at all. I believe if Medics get knighted then their knighthood supercedes all doctorly titles so they become Dame Sarah HealingHands or Sir Anthony Cureitall. It is a bit of a minefield sometimes - but if you aren't sure just ask, and people will tell you waht they want to be called and unless they are falsely claiming qualifications they do not have, I am perfectly happy to call them by thier proper title.

Athena51 · 09/10/2018 18:09

I think that the title of Dr is hard won whether it's medical or an academic doctorate. It's also a real issue that woman who want to be referred to by their proper earned title are regarded as 'up themselves' in a way that a man just wouldn't be.

So you ANBU in my opinion.

BuggertheTabloids · 09/10/2018 18:10

Yes it is true that Dr is a courtesy title for medical doctors, but just saying that a PhD is not the only actual doctorate. The MD (UK one) is a doctorate too and anyone with this degree is as entitled as someone with a PhD to use the title Dr.