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AIBU to wonder why people always do this on MN?

175 replies

SquirreledIn · 09/10/2018 13:21

I'm talking about people who always suggest the opposite of what the OP asked for?

Example: Can anyone please suggest some old fashioned names for our baby girl? We don't want her to have a name beginning with B but any other letter is fine.
Other user. Bethany? Bella? Bailey?

Or someone asks what they should order from the Chinese. There's always someone who says make a salad. It's much healthier.

It happens with holidays too, in fact almost every topic. Someone will ask for restaurant suggestions in Tenerife and some bright spark will say. I don't know. I've never been. I wouldn't touch the place with a barge pole. I only ever go to a lovely little gite in Provence.

Why do they do this? Do they really think that they're being helpful or are they just trying to be unpleasant? I'm leaning towards the latter most of the time. Ok, perhaps in the first example they just didn't read the OP correctly but I so often see posts similar to the other examples and it's frustrating.

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 09/10/2018 13:37

People like that fall into three classes, ime
a) some don't read properly, they skim and latch onto key words while missing the "not"
b) a few are baiting, looking for a rise
c) some genuinely think they're being helpful (but they're wrong) or who have a fundamental religious-type on the topic - True Believers. Best just ignored, no point arguing with them as their position will never change.

LJFM2B · 09/10/2018 13:39

Grin I wonder this all the time, i put a post up regarding my baby name options to try and get feed back about the names we had chose (3 of each) ... and i got back a fair few with just name selections from the list but i also got ALOT saying things like "i dont like any of them, i think Amy is much nicer than Ava" (amy not being a name on my list) or "i think they're all over used" or offered me different spellings for the options id chosen! .. my favourite response was "i think you should name your child on the basis of what you and PD/DH like and not name it on the basis of MN opinions its ridiculous" Grin

I know you kind of sign yourself up for it when you post on here - but when the question is pretty clear you surely only respond when you have an answer to that question!

PanchoBarnes · 09/10/2018 14:05

yadnbu. I wonder too, OP.
And I enjoyed reading your examples Smile

Holidayfromreal · 09/10/2018 14:17

Yes! There was a thread the other day someone asking how much it costs to live in London and loads of replies saying oh it expensive how about Milton Keynes which A) is not in London and B) not what the OP asked. Gave me the rage for no reason.

IAcceptCookies · 09/10/2018 14:20

As well as the very good reasons Spoonblender mentioned, there's also the assertion of superiority, as exemplified by your Tenerife/gite in France example. An excuse to sneer.

TheFifthKey · 09/10/2018 14:25

I like people who post on dating threads things like "sounds awful! That's why I hope DH and I never split up!". So smug and unempathetic.

squishee · 09/10/2018 14:34

It bugs me too, especially if the thread title starts with an "If".

"If you have bought Next leggings, how do they look after a few wears?"
"Oh I've been wearing my M&S leggings for ages and they are still like new".

CluedoAddict · 09/10/2018 14:36

Bethany is in the bible so it is very much an old name.

Nesssie · 09/10/2018 14:39

There was a thread like this on the doghouse the other day..

OP: I'm going to get either a border collie or german shepherd. Fellow owners please tell me pros and cons.

A: What about a spaniel
A: Have you thought about a pointer
A: Lurchers make wonderful pets
A: I've never had either breed but...

IAcceptCookies · 09/10/2018 14:40

But it begins with 'B' Cluedo !

wafflyversatile · 09/10/2018 14:41

Because it's like a pub where people chat shit.

TheRoadLessRocky · 09/10/2018 14:43

Bethany is in the bible so it is very much an old name

Please let this be a piss take.

SquirreledIn · 09/10/2018 14:50

I'm relieved to see that it isn't just me being cynical and that it annoys others too. I know that some people really are trying to be helpful in their own misguided way, but if someone is craving Chinese food and wants a not so healthy treat it's highly unlikely that they're suddenly going to change their mind and think 'You're right. I'll have a nice salad instead.'

I agree that many people just want to feel superior and it doesn't seem to matter how many very valid reasons they offer(not that anyone should have to justify things like this) they are dismissed.

Example. OP: What's the best brand of readymade pesto? I make my own now and again but I have two children with SN and a six week old baby. Pasta with pesto and vegetables is one of the few meals that my autistic ten year old will eat and we have very little time between collecting my children from two separate schools before we have to go to therapy for my middle child ,rush home, have dinner then take my eldest to Scouts so I need a meal that's ready in under twenty minutes.

Smug user: How lazy are you? Why can't you make your own? I had twins and climbed K2 while making pesto using a pestle and mortar, with one baby clamped between my teeth and the other latched on. I really couldn't call myself a Mother if I used the jarred stuff.

OP posts:
woollytights · 09/10/2018 15:04

When someone posts about an abusive/twatty husband or partner.

"My DH would never be like that. If I burnt his tea, he would stop what he was doing, personally cook and serve a 10 course gourmet feast from scratch for us both, then spend the rest of the evening giving me massages and painting my toes whilst singing a song he wrote about how beautiful I am. So sorry OP Flowers "

Always the fucking flowers.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 09/10/2018 15:09

“So I have two boys, aged 3 and 9 and....”

First poster - “really can’t comment without knowing how old they are”


AmIRightOrAMeringue · 09/10/2018 15:20

To give some posters the benefit of the doubt..maybe they are smug. But I think sometimes they say nice things about their own husband to show that relationships aren't all abusive or the man expecting the woman to do everything for them. Some posters come on genuinely asking are they being unreasonable to be upset their husband threw their dinner at them because it was a bit overcooked. They seem to think this may be normal behaviour. So other posters will say things like 'no my husband would buy us a takeaway if I burnt dinner' to illustrate their point that throwing is not normal.

Sorry not very well explained but don't think everyone is always being smug just trying to demonstrate to the OP they are not being unreasonable to be upset as their husband is a shit!

GunpowderGelatine · 09/10/2018 15:21

Haha this is so true.

There was a fairly recent thread where an OP's 16yo DD was having a camping-in-the-garden birthday party with friends and she wanted to order Dominoes pizza, but they were expensive at £20 each and OP wanted advice on getting them cheaper. She made it clear in the OP (and several posts thereafter) that her DD wanted Dominoes and Dominoes only and she wouldn't go elsewhere. Most (sensible) posters told her she just needs a voucher code and she could get about 40% off. But an alarming amount of people also said "get them from Asda, much cheaper" or "Morrison's do great frozen pizzas, and they taste the same as Dominoes" (they don't). One person even said "buy some ingredients and get them to make their own, kids go nuts for that". These kids were old enough to have sex FFS, they weren't gonna 'go nuts' for homemade pizza when they camping in the garden with cans of beer. It got quite funny towards the end as people just kept saying it

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/10/2018 15:44

I think there are quite a few posters on Babynames who just have a list of favourite names that they are determined to shoehorn into every thread, and ram down the neck of every OP.

ChipsAreLife · 09/10/2018 16:09


gunpowder the pizza one was infuriating.

I often think people skim posts. But there is also a lot of smugness!

Feellikeimthemaid · 09/10/2018 16:14

Always the fucking flowers.

This! Grin

Orlande · 09/10/2018 16:15

Whenever anyone asks anything about making purees
"You should do BLW"

ShartGoblin · 09/10/2018 16:16

What about Bob?


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IStandWithPosie · 09/10/2018 16:17

I love the Irish names threads. Without fail there is always at least one poster who hasn’t a clue and posts things like ”shibuan” or “Kira” Grin

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 16:22

You made me laugh op, 🤣

I think often there is a reading comprehension issue. Other times, people just can't be arsed reading it properly.

It's like

Can you recommend what I should make for a dinner party, we are all vegetarians.

How about chicken casserole?


MemoryOfSleep · 09/10/2018 16:24

Smug user: How lazy are you? Why can't you make your own? I had twins and climbed K2 while making pesto using a pestle and mortar, with one baby clamped between my teeth and the other latched on. I really couldn't call myself a Mother if I used the jarred stuff.


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