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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why people always do this on MN?

175 replies

SquirreledIn · 09/10/2018 13:21

I'm talking about people who always suggest the opposite of what the OP asked for?

Example: Can anyone please suggest some old fashioned names for our baby girl? We don't want her to have a name beginning with B but any other letter is fine.
Other user. Bethany? Bella? Bailey?

Or someone asks what they should order from the Chinese. There's always someone who says make a salad. It's much healthier.

It happens with holidays too, in fact almost every topic. Someone will ask for restaurant suggestions in Tenerife and some bright spark will say. I don't know. I've never been. I wouldn't touch the place with a barge pole. I only ever go to a lovely little gite in Provence.

Why do they do this? Do they really think that they're being helpful or are they just trying to be unpleasant? I'm leaning towards the latter most of the time. Ok, perhaps in the first example they just didn't read the OP correctly but I so often see posts similar to the other examples and it's frustrating.

OP posts:
PinguDance · 09/10/2018 19:42

Tbf I’m convinced the baby names boards are a mass exercise in trolling anyway. And sometimes when people say ‘I have narrowed it down to Herbaceous Prune or Ivory Trundlewheel’ someone will feel a sincere need to point out they’re both ridiculous.

bellajay · 09/10/2018 20:19

@GunpowderGelatine And the next three posters will say ‘why on earth were you fumbling for change, did you lose your contactless card? Hmm ’

GunpowderGelatine · 09/10/2018 20:24

Lol @bellajay and then if the OP says "the buses in our area only take cash" (funnily enough true for buses round here!) you'll get 40 posters saying "I don't believe you. There's no way in this day and age buses don't take Oyster. What part of London are you in again?"
OP: "The Outer Hebrides" Grin

I love rurally and I can't tell you the amount of time's people on MN don't believe there is a bus going into my village. Or that takeaways don't deliver. They won't have it, fucking Londoners

beeefcake · 09/10/2018 20:29

The best is when people ask what packed lunch they should give their fussy DC and someone suggests raw pepper and houmous

FascinatingCarrot · 09/10/2018 20:32

This is a Classics contender already Grin

Barker26 · 09/10/2018 20:39

Grin this thread !

AamdC · 09/10/2018 20:40

Oh god yes the people who beleive we all live in London ,im renting a house for £700 near a good school etc but i need somewhere a bit cheaper poster where on earth can you get a hpuse for £700 near a good schoo mine costs eleventy billiona month , well. lots of places just not in londonHmm

MattLeBlancVest · 09/10/2018 20:54

What happened to "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

I think that on every thread I read.

Every single one of these examples piss me off.

Maybe I shouldn't read mumsnet anymore.

bellajay · 09/10/2018 20:54

@GunpowderGelatine there was one about paying a £4 taxi with a £20 note the other day and the general consensus was that the poster was being unreasonable for not using an app to book and pay for the taxi. Grin

Original poster
SquirreledIn · 09/10/2018 20:58

You're all making me laugh. It's reassuring to see how much this annoys others too, and I'm no Pollyanna. That's for sure.

OP posts:
iklboo · 09/10/2018 20:58

'Where in Norfolk do you recommend for my holiday? Budget £300 for a week.'

'Ooh I love this little bijou place in Chateau du Poncy-Wank in France. Only £250 a night! Bargainous'.

CoughLaughFart · 09/10/2018 21:02

People who are so desperate to be sensitive about one of MN’s hot topics that they end up being completely insensitive about the OP’s situation. One that always sticks in my mind was this poor woman at her wits’ end because her teenage son was out of control, had beaten her up and even tried to set fire to the house. The first post in response was ‘Any SN?’ Not a word in sympathy or concern; just a desperate attempt to show how right on they are.

Another one I see a lot is needless judgements or insults; usually off-topic too. One that springs to mind is the woman who fell out with her friend on holiday. Some mealy-mouthed cow felt the need to throw in that the resort sounded awful. Why?!

JamAtkins · 09/10/2018 21:06

"What do you think of this outfit? Going for a nice meal then to a club for lovely friend's hen night. Haven't been to a club since pre dc."

"Urgh! I would never go on a hen night"

"I've been married 8 times and never had a hen party"

"When did forcing people to socialise just because you all know the same woman become a 'thing'?"

"Can't you just go for the meal, OP"

Original poster
SquirreledIn · 09/10/2018 21:07

I agree about people arguing over something that the OP didn't say.

AIBU to wish that the four year old who has been sitting at my table for the past hour would return to her parents? She's lovely and I'm happy to say hello, but I'm hoping for a quiet lunch hour for once, as I haven't gone anywhere without kids in tow for a year.

YABU and precious to want a small defenceless child to be tied to a chair, with a sack over her head and be made to face the wall so that she doesn't disturb your lunch hour. If you want absolute silence then you should eat at home.

OP: Oh I don't expect silence at all and I certainly don't want her to be tied to a chair. I'm happy for her to make noise and she is adorabe. I'd just like her parents to take her back to their table for a while.

Oh so now you want her flogged too, do you? You disgust me!

OP posts:
beeefcake · 09/10/2018 21:08

I was on a thread the other week with people asking about uses of bleach

People started talking about how the OP should stop polluting the oceans

RedDogsBeg · 09/10/2018 21:13

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira that's a real bug bear of mine too, it's rude and if you can't be bothered to the read the OP correctly then why waste everyones time by replying.

C0untDucku1a oh yes, it takes a special kind of dick to post "my eyes, my eyes - paragraphs OP, paragraphs!!" and I have actually seen that as the first response on a thread were the OP was very distressed. When I first started using MN there was a habit, which thankfully seems to have died out now, where a poster would post a long post about some traumatic life changing event and the first response would be : tldr - why, just why would you do that? It's beneath contempt.

Sparklingbrook · 09/10/2018 21:17

My favourite is the ones that go

'What are the best tampons?'

Without fail there will be 'Get a mooncup' replies.

Hmm
garethsouthgatesmrs · 09/10/2018 21:18

the ones where someone presents a problem and people solve it in ways the OP has already clearly ruled out:

DP and I were really looking forward to going to our good friends' wedding in Cornwall at the weekend but sadly our babysitter has fallen ill. They absolutely don't want children at their wedding. We have no local friends who can help us out as we have recently moved area, my parents live in the outer hebrides and DP's parents are dead, we are both only children. Who should stay and who should go?

Isn't there a family member who could help out as a one off?

I would just take the children

I think neither of you should go, it's a invitation not a summons

Haffiana · 09/10/2018 21:19

When someone posts about an abusive/twatty husband or partner.

"My DH would never be like that. If I burnt his tea, he would stop what he was doing, personally cook and serve a 10 course gourmet feast from scratch for us both, then spend the rest of the evening giving me massages and painting my toes whilst singing a song he wrote about how beautiful I am. So sorry OP flowers "

Always the fucking flowers.

Actually it is really important. Someone in an abusive relationship has no idea what is normal. They are so ground down that their fucked-up travesty of a relationship appears completely normal. If people who are in healthy relationships can show what is in fact normal and healthy it can be a huge help for them to see how abusive their own relationship is.

auberbene · 09/10/2018 21:20

People who post 'am I pregnant?' threads without actually having taken a pregnancy test

Thisreallyisafarce · 09/10/2018 21:24

Because some people get a kick out of feeling like they're better than other people.

Ellisandra · 09/10/2018 21:24

Ones that have “apologies for the DM link”. Usually takes less than 5 seconds to find an alternative, so - rather than apologise, how about you just don’t do it?

Dandybelle · 09/10/2018 21:32

This thread has made me full on belly laugh tonight, which hasn't happened for a while on here Smile

Warpdrive · 09/10/2018 21:34

I cant actually help you but I didn't want to read and run....

But you could have...no-one would have known! Not one person. But you couldn't help virtue-signalling that you are kind and sympathetic to a stranger on mumsnet.

GunpowderGelatine · 09/10/2018 21:34

there was one about paying a £4 taxi with a £20 note the other day and the general consensus was that the poster was being unreasonable for not using an app to book and pay for the taxi

Ha, there is no Uber in the city near me, I think the taxi drivers are only just getting used to the new pound coin.
we don't have a Waitrose either

Ooh I love this little bijou place in Chateau du Poncy-Wank in France. Only £250 a night! Bargainous'.

ARF! Poncy-Wank GrinGrin

Yesterday I posted a thread as I'm concerned about a close friend who's an old colleague from my last place of work. He's getting bullied and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown - it's the NHS and I asked for advice on how I report my ex-manager (the bully) when I no longer work there.

First post - "He needs to get a new manager". Yeah thanks for that, dickhead

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