Or is friend a cf

[Penelopeee]

Evening.

I regularly help out other school mums. Have become known as the mum to ask for a favour I suppose. Never really given it too much thought, firm believer that if you can help someone else out in life you should.

For the last 18 months I have looked after my friends daughter who is in my daughters class at school. They are year 3 (7 turning 8). I also have a smaller person who is at home with me all day.

So friends DH drops their DD at mine just before 7am. Usually twice, sometimes 3 times a week as they both work shifts. School starts at 8.50am. School finishes at 3.30 and DD is collected by dad by 5.30pm.

Our daughters are classmates and get along, they do however have their fair share of winding each other up and bitching to each other which all of us parents tend to ignore and stay out of.

Friends DD is turning 8 this weekend and friends have booked her and 5 friends into like an activity centre place. The girl took great delight in telling my DD where parents had booked, who was invited and clarifying that my DD wasn’t invited.

We look after this girl so much. I know the old can’t be invited to everything but my DD makes no fuss about this girl being here, shares all her toys, use of her tablets etc we feed her when she’s here. Shares her mummy’s time etc.

DD is upset. She’s upset she wasn’t invited. She upset that ‘friend’ will continue to get to come to her house so much when in her words “we aren’t good friends obviously”.

AIBU to think that my friend should of maybe done the whole we will be in Inviting XXXX as they do a lot for us???

To be honest I feel really fucking used!! So as not to drip feed, they don’t pay me and have never offered. They’ve never looked after mine. Nor have they offered.

I would end this arrangement right this second

Can’t believe anyone could be that cheeky! And how mean the daughter sounds saying that gleefully to your DD. Horrid people, put an end to the arrangement ASAP

Your poor DD so unfair for her. Cant believe the mum actually got you to help her book it!

Do please come back on and update us with how your “friend” responds to the bombshell that you won’t be her free childcare any more

Just do ensure that the friend's daughter hasn't hidden / thrown away your daughter's invite and lied. Some 8 year olds can be SO spiteful (speaking from experience)

Oh op,this woman is no friend of yours is she?and her dc has picked up her mother's horrible personality.
You are too kind.
Stop free (or any even if she offers to pay)childcare with immediate effect.
As a pp said,save your time and attention for your dc.It sounds like your dd will be much happier with this new arrangement.So every cloud has a silver lining.
That woman is a very c.f. And you are well rid.butfor you for being such a lovely person.

Even if your DD turns out to be invited, this arrangement needs to stop. Preferably right now.

Please don’t do tomorrow. Fuck them. They are cheeky using twats and deserve nothing. The classic mums net sorry doesn’t work for me. If she invites after then it’s sorry got plans, hope you get childcare sorted.

Fuck her right off her kid sounds spiteful too

It blows my mind when people who benefit from arrangements like these can’t see the wood for the trees and understand that they need to keep the person doing them the MASSIVE favour onside.

Do they totally lack the critical thinking skills needed to work out that deliberately excluding OP’s dd would wind her up and risk them suddenly having to pay for childcare?

I am outraged on your behalf. Some people are unbelievable.

Definitely text AFTER the party, not during, just in case there has been some misunderstanding (although I completely believe there hadn't been). Then there's absolutely no way they can claim they didn't realise. If you text during the party, they could say 'of course you're invited, we thought you were running late'.

If they don't text after the party asking where you were, you have your answer.

CFs of the highest order, and I almost hope they complain about you ending the arrangement immediately so that you'll be angry enough to tell them what a bunch of twats they really are!

Terrible unkind behaviour. I'm all for letting children choose who they want to invite but sometimes they need to be told they have to invite an extra. This is def one of those times.

This should be in hall of fame.
Thisis a new level of CF especially considering YOU booked the party.

Tell them to go f* themselves. You don't need people like this around you and your DD

OMG
OP YOU ARE A SAINT-not petty and mean at all!!!
I'd take the great advice and cancel the arrangement after the party so they can't say she was invited but invite got lost.
In fact I'd send a text saying you are unable to continue ( under any circumstances do not apologise or have the word Sorry anywhere in your text ) when you knowthat the party is in full swing.
Nobody does that to my child and lives!!!!

Why is it all on the mother, the father sees op every day when he drops his child.
They are all complete arses

There was a similar thread couple of weeks ago and it was again unanimous that they were CF.

I cross posted to your update OP on page 3!!

Good for you OP!

I think you should definitely call time on the arrangement (during the party is a good idea!). But I do think you should give her notice (maybe a week). She sounds like a cow, what are the chances she'd bad mouth you for leaving her in the lurch?

I think the old 'this arrangement no longer works for me' with no further explanation would be apt in this situation. Let them pay for after school care like every bugger else does.

Can't believe what I've just been reading. You need to stop this arrangement. They're using you. Your poor DD, she (and you) deserve better friends. Keep us updated!

I would send the message while the party is on :)

They are monumental CF. Stop the free childcare, they are walking all over you and you get nothing in return at all, it is so taking the piss out of you.

Regardless of the party, just stop letting them walk all over you. They can pay someone to look after their child. It is so much more than just a favour, you are saving them a fortune.

I'd stop it right away. Even if the parents intended to invite your DD to the party (unlikely), they are still massively taking the piss. DD doesn't want to go now and the girl is being spiteful. It really doesn't matter if a last minute invitation is forthcoming, you wouldn't be using it anyway.

What a CF!! Your poor daughter. I agree with the PP stop taking care of their DD. You need to teach your DD that people can't just treat you like crap and get away with it. I imagine your DD will be relieved when this mean girl stops coming round.

My gob is smacked

How did this child minding situation arise, you need to end it now. Please don’t be walked over. I can’t believe the cheeky fuckery of the woman.