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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is friend a cf

999 replies

Penelopeee · 08/10/2018 19:23

Evening.

I regularly help out other school mums. Have become known as the mum to ask for a favour I suppose. Never really given it too much thought, firm believer that if you can help someone else out in life you should.

For the last 18 months I have looked after my friends daughter who is in my daughters class at school. They are year 3 (7 turning 8). I also have a smaller person who is at home with me all day.

So friends DH drops their DD at mine just before 7am. Usually twice, sometimes 3 times a week as they both work shifts. School starts at 8.50am. School finishes at 3.30 and DD is collected by dad by 5.30pm.

Our daughters are classmates and get along, they do however have their fair share of winding each other up and bitching to each other which all of us parents tend to ignore and stay out of.

Friends DD is turning 8 this weekend and friends have booked her and 5 friends into like an activity centre place. The girl took great delight in telling my DD where parents had booked, who was invited and clarifying that my DD wasn’t invited.

We look after this girl so much. I know the old can’t be invited to everything but my DD makes no fuss about this girl being here, shares all her toys, use of her tablets etc we feed her when she’s here. Shares her mummy’s time etc.

DD is upset. She’s upset she wasn’t invited. She upset that ‘friend’ will continue to get to come to her house so much when in her words “we aren’t good friends obviously”.

AIBU to think that my friend should of maybe done the whole we will be in Inviting XXXX as they do a lot for us???

To be honest I feel really fucking used!! So as not to drip feed, they don’t pay me and have never offered. They’ve never looked after mine. Nor have they offered.

OP posts:
Spanglylycra · 10/10/2018 20:09

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 only just caught up. Well done!

fifithefoof · 10/10/2018 20:09

Fuck me. Struggling to deal with everything?! Oooooo op you're a bigger person than me. I'd be calling her and asking her what the fuck she thinks she's playing at! That's NOT the kind of thing you spread around.

That's her gratitude? What a thundercunt she is.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 10/10/2018 20:10

Oooh she’s a piece of work isn’t she. I bet she told her dd about you ‘not coping’ and said to pass it on to make sure you found out.

You’re doing amazingly. I would just continue - do the serene smile and let it all wash over you. You’re freeeeee. And yes to bacon butties 🥪!

civicxx · 10/10/2018 20:11

yayyyy! im so happy this evening catching up on this thread! you and your daughter i agree have handled it all amazingly! Bacon butties are 100% on the cards!!

Ps, id keep hold of those figures just incase she ever does pipe up ;)

IamPickleRick · 10/10/2018 20:13

Struggling to deal with everything 😂 I couldn’t let that one go either tbh, I’d have to go in to playground laughing on a pretend phone call “hahahaha yes! She says i’m struggling to deal with raising her DD for her during the week for free and paying out of my own pocket to feed her! What a loser! Yes of course I told her I don’t want to have the kid over anymore. No we agreed they are too grabby and a negative influence on DD, ok byeeeee!”

flumpybear · 10/10/2018 20:13

Wow I can't believe you fed hernproper meals twice a day too - she never offered any money for food

She's a shit friend, a using CF and bloody awful individual - seriously who does that!!

RedLife · 10/10/2018 20:14

Christ stop derailing the thread you bunch of nuggets

😂 😂 😂

Genevieva · 10/10/2018 20:16

If she wanted to recoup some lost manners, she would buy you a big hamper to say thank you for 18 months of free childcare. Fortnum and Mason sell some lovely ones. Just hinting on your behalf Grin

ohdeardeardear · 10/10/2018 20:17

Cannot believe the absolute cheeky fucker blanked you! She's totally on here - you have some cheek you absolute knobber.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/10/2018 20:19

Really well done OP. But I am utterly fuming on your behalf that SHE now has the cheek to blank YOU. Who does she think she is?
I'd have to send her a text saying something like 'wow, you really have the cheek of the devil don't you? I've saved you nearly four grand in childcare and now you're BLANKING me. Just wow'
What've you got to lose? Grin

FunSponges · 10/10/2018 20:19

"I’d have to go in to playground laughing on a pretend phone call “hahahaha yes! She says i’m struggling to deal with raising her DD for her during the week for free and paying out of my own pocket to feed her! What a loser! Yes of course I told her I don’t want to have the kid over anymore. No we agreed they are too grabby and a negative influence on DD, ok byeeeee!”

Pleeeeaaaasssee do this Grin.

TheMonkeyMummy · 10/10/2018 20:32

How pathetic that she blanked you. I agree her explanation to her daughter wouldn't bother me, she can tell her whatever she wants. But blanking is childish. I wonder if it is because she has realised what a CF she is and can't face you just yet.

fifithefoof · 10/10/2018 20:34

Never wished for a thread to get in the national press more..... Hi Daily Mail hi Mirror!

Groovee · 10/10/2018 20:38

Struggling to deal with things. She's the cf that keeps on giving.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/10/2018 20:40

What a cheeky bitch - blanking you! Shock I wonder what her DH has been told? Hmm

number1wang · 10/10/2018 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MartaTam · 10/10/2018 21:05

number1 -That would've been ace Grin

Maelstrop · 10/10/2018 21:09

Struggling to deal with everything?! Fucking hell, the cheeky fuckery continues! I would very carefully say back to dd ‘Yes, struggling to deal with rude people on a daily basis’ because you know that’ll go straight back. Halo

Queenie8 · 10/10/2018 21:46

*Struggling to deal with everything?! Fucking hell, the cheeky fuckery continues! I would very carefully say back to dd ‘Yes, struggling to deal with rude people on a daily basis’ because you know that’ll go straight back×

^^this^^

buckeejit · 10/10/2018 21:59

Hurrah! Knock it on the head for sure & don't ask for anything back from them. Keep on doing what you're doing & enjoy the non booked time. I'd ask other friends of dd over for the odd play date too

Bluntness100 · 10/10/2018 22:01

I'd let it go,to be Honest, she knows the score and you win nothing by going in to prove a point. Let her play it as she wishes, who cares!

Just let it be now op, no matter what she says, it doesn't change her situation,....

KC225 · 10/10/2018 22:02

Cannot believe someone has tried to wedge in a hamper suggestion. Hampers are so bloody mumsnet.

LurkingWaspi · 10/10/2018 22:02

Thanks for the update Penelopeee You are amazing, you are a good and decent and kind person. A lesson learned and better days ahead.

Keep hold of those figures! £3800 wow!

I do hope that CF is looking in, because if she ever turns up at the school gate, I'm sure a fair few parents/carers around her will be Mumsnetters.

Yes CF Mum, our eyes will bore into you. That's her, the CF one.
Shame on you the way that you emotionally abuse your DD.

RebeccaByAleneToo · 10/10/2018 22:05

Grabs popcorn

You did the right thing OP!

peardropexplodes · 10/10/2018 22:11

I think you should send her a link to this thread so she knows what a tight, nasty, socially inept CF everyone thinks she is!