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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is friend a cf

999 replies

Penelopeee · 08/10/2018 19:23

Evening.

I regularly help out other school mums. Have become known as the mum to ask for a favour I suppose. Never really given it too much thought, firm believer that if you can help someone else out in life you should.

For the last 18 months I have looked after my friends daughter who is in my daughters class at school. They are year 3 (7 turning 8). I also have a smaller person who is at home with me all day.

So friends DH drops their DD at mine just before 7am. Usually twice, sometimes 3 times a week as they both work shifts. School starts at 8.50am. School finishes at 3.30 and DD is collected by dad by 5.30pm.

Our daughters are classmates and get along, they do however have their fair share of winding each other up and bitching to each other which all of us parents tend to ignore and stay out of.

Friends DD is turning 8 this weekend and friends have booked her and 5 friends into like an activity centre place. The girl took great delight in telling my DD where parents had booked, who was invited and clarifying that my DD wasn’t invited.

We look after this girl so much. I know the old can’t be invited to everything but my DD makes no fuss about this girl being here, shares all her toys, use of her tablets etc we feed her when she’s here. Shares her mummy’s time etc.

DD is upset. She’s upset she wasn’t invited. She upset that ‘friend’ will continue to get to come to her house so much when in her words “we aren’t good friends obviously”.

AIBU to think that my friend should of maybe done the whole we will be in Inviting XXXX as they do a lot for us???

To be honest I feel really fucking used!! So as not to drip feed, they don’t pay me and have never offered. They’ve never looked after mine. Nor have they offered.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 13:23

I did read them ski. I was making the point that it was even worse that mummy had asked for an update despite not being arsed to read anything other than the OP anyway.

SalemBlackCat4 · 10/10/2018 13:27
  1. Copy the OP's user name.
  2. Go Ctrl F. Enter name/word. It will automatically take you to each post with that username, so you don't have to read around 800 replies.
  3. Do this on each page.
  4. Don't be like a lot of people on here who seem to NEVER select 'show 100 messages' per page. How a lot of people on here are fine with clicking to a separate page every 15 or so fucking posts, I don't know. It is sooooooo much easier selecting the max posts per page. I read people saying 'we are on page 17' and I'm like, wtf, no we are not!?!??! Who does that?? Only on page 4 or 5. It is so much easier selecting 100 per page, then Ctrl F for the OP name and then you can read their posts/updates.
SalemBlackCat4 · 10/10/2018 13:28

FWIW, this thread is on page 9 currently.

nannykatherine · 10/10/2018 13:29

the dowager cuntess i’m referring to
who has time to read every single comment and why does she think she has to lecture everyone

indianwoman · 10/10/2018 13:31

I love it when new people come on and get offended!!

TomHardysNextWife · 10/10/2018 13:51

OP I hope you're feeling really proud of yourself for how you've dealt with this.

You've given your DD a really positive message and won't ever get caught out doing this again. Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes and forms of CFs Flowers.

Nancydrawn · 10/10/2018 13:56

OP: I think you've done an exemplary job putting your foot down. 'Never complain, never explain' shuts down so much arguing--if you had given her a reason, instead of blanking you she'd be wheedling you or trying to wear you down.

My one concern is for your daughter. It's very possible that the problem child (better than shitty kid?) will be told/pick up what's going on with the parents and start being mean(er) to your daughter at school. I guess and hope it will all blow over quickly, but I'd just keep a careful ear out for any hint that problem child is targeting her.

whogivesaratzass · 10/10/2018 14:11

So I haven't read the full thread but just wanted to say...

Kidding, kidding, couldn't resist- been with you guys from the start!

Well done OP - have fun on Saturday Thanks

Poplarue · 10/10/2018 14:12

What makes me eye-roll are the posters complaining they don't have the time to RTFT when they have plenty of time to post WHY THEY CAN'T RTFT to every person saying RTFT.

Your arguments are invalid.

KatoPotato · 10/10/2018 14:14

Why do OP and nanny katherine's post both highlight as OPs post?

KatoPotato · 10/10/2018 14:16

igonre, my thread highlights are all wonky!

Groovee · 10/10/2018 14:24

If she's blanked you she'll either continue or else in a few weeks she'll try to crawl back.

Lweji · 10/10/2018 14:30

On a side note, do people come to MN without having heard it referred to as a nest of vipers? Or about the swearing?

Maybe MNHQ should think of having a warning when people sign up.

Fair warning:
Vipers and swearing may be encountered. Particularly when not RTFT.

Unsuitablelake · 10/10/2018 14:34

omg. what a bitch. OP, good for you and your dd. How can somebody be so damn rude. I hope that nobody will take her child for free from
now on, and she will actually have to start to pay for that. And blanking you? Ffs how can somebody be so ungrateful.

rockinsockbunniess · 10/10/2018 14:41

Omg OP that is outrageous - tell her where to go and stop providing childcare for that CF!

AllTheChocolateMice · 10/10/2018 14:46

If people just rtft it probably wouldn’t be 35 pages long and we would all find it easier to see ops updates

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/10/2018 14:51

Hahaha I did think it was an anti climax myself. I had worked myself up ready for a proper full on confrontation with loads of wicked comeback comments.

It's always the same when you are ready for someone kicking off. I think they sense that you are prepared, and, bullies that they are, retreat at once.

It's happened to me before, and the wind has been thoroughly taken out of my sails - and then I've walked round for about two days full of surplus adrenaline! Grin

The house generally gets a though bottoming on those occassions.

eveamber · 10/10/2018 15:11

These are not friends they are users, what a dam cheek your doing free childcare.
Ring them straight away and tell them to sling their hook.

Volant · 10/10/2018 15:43

Salem, it's even better to select 1000 posts per page instead of 100. If you also highlight the OP's posts, it's easy to tell which OPs have fucked off and aren't responding to anything, which tends to tell me there's no point reading the thread.

BigApple11 · 10/10/2018 15:50

** These are not friends they are users, what a dam cheek your doing free childcare.
Ring them straight away and tell them to sling their hook.* *
*
Dear God.* 🙈

Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 15:56

You'd want to assume these people are taking the piss bigapple but they're not - they don't RTFT so they don't see all the comments saying RTFT.

They honestly just think their comment is so unique and insightful it can't possibly have been mentioned in any of the preceding 900 posts!

Nearly as bad as the CF in terms of lack of awareness really!

flowergrrl77 · 10/10/2018 15:57

In all honesty, I rarely Read The FULL Thread (actual meanings of the letters in RTFT)

I read the GREEN! Posts (cause I set all OP messages to be in green - my own posts are in pink!)

Really helps when you dont wanna read the FULL thread but you want to comment :P

Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 15:59

The F in RTFT isn't for 'full' 😂😂😂

Lweji · 10/10/2018 16:01

Read The FULL Thread (actual meanings of the letters in RTFT) - NOT! Grin

AllTheChocolateMice · 10/10/2018 16:16

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

For anyone who thinks the f is for full