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Original poster

To think we deserve to use our "nice" stuff?

188 replies

Wickerwillow · 06/10/2018 23:10

Every day I wear the same drab jeans and frumpy jumpers on rotation, yet I have a wardrobe full of beautiful tops and dresses in lovely finishes. Beautiful jewel tones in silk, linen or velvet still with the tags on that have never seen the light of day because I'm saving them "for best".

I've come to the conclusion that "best" never happens and "special occasions" rarely seem special enough when the day arrives. I seem to be waiting for all these worthy occasions that will be deserving of that bit of extra effort yet I can't remember the last time I gave myself permission to wear something that fell into the hand-wash only/iron on cool category...

Beaded indian slippers I never dare to wear around the house as they're too fragile.

The "nice" foundation kept at the back of the drawer, choosing instead to wear my cheap, old, dried up stuff because, you know, it's only Tuesday.

Good napkins shunned in favour of a scraggy bit of kitchen roll at dinner.

Scented candles never lit in case they, god forbid...actually burn....

My new resolution is to make use of at least one "special" thing that I already own every single day and stop accumulating treats that never get used.

Is anyone else guilty of this?

OP posts:
user1498079440 · 08/10/2018 22:48

Ps, obviously it had been in the cupboard so long with her not allowing us nice things it had probably turned into cheese

Boulty · 08/10/2018 22:57

I was brought up to keep things for 'best'. It was the 'done' thing years ago, perhaps from 'Sunday best' etc for church. Many homes had a drawing from or working class a 'front room' that wasn't used except on special occasions. Strange but very much seems to be a generational thing. I have clothes for best, jewellery etc.

Yes I agree best is everyday things are to be used not left unused in a cupboard.

Kaybush · 08/10/2018 23:02

I've never had any proper jewellery, but a decade ago my father's godmother passed away and left me a beautiful brooch containing five valuable diamonds. I had them made into a necklace and earrings and have worn them every day since, as they're subtle enough to go with everything.

I remember seeing a postcard around the same time that said "Every day should be a best knicker day." which I've sort of taken as a mantra, and which has really worked for me 😃

Boulty · 08/10/2018 23:03

meant drawing room!

cad186 · 08/10/2018 23:11

I watched a documentary about the Aberfan disaster. One of the women interviewed said in the morning of the day it happened her little girl wanted to wear her new shoes, but the mother said she couldn't wear them to school as they were her best shoes. That day her daughter died, the woman said she wished she had just let her wear her new shoes. That really upset me, now everything is used and nothing is kept for best anymore.

SpiritedLondon · 08/10/2018 23:15

I think my issue is that I don’t do enough fun things. Weekends just seem to be ferrying around to clubs, kids birthday parties and chores. I’ve got Vivienne Westwood boots I’ve worn a handful of times and silver boots from Vagabond that I coveted and have never even worn. I either have to start wearing these things to the supermarket or start finding some social events to go to. Otherwise, as a PP said start investing more money into casual clothes which is what i tend to wear more nowadays.

SpiritedLondon · 08/10/2018 23:18

That day her daughter died, the woman said she wished she had just let her wear her new shoes

God that is really upsetting isn’t it? I just bought my DD6 a pair of biker boots from M&S and she was so excited she wore them all day in the house and wanted to go to sleep in them. I think I need to get my Vivienne Westwood boots out from wherever I’m storing them and venture out in them.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 08/10/2018 23:22

That day her daughter died, the woman said she wished she had just let her wear her new shoes

That story is so, so sad and poignant. Poor souls.

caringcarer · 08/10/2018 23:29

I used to keep my very expensive engagement ring in safe and only wear it out about 6 times a year and if we were invited to a wedding. My Mum was the same. When she died i could not remember her hardly wearing hers. Now I even wear mine every day. Dh never said anything when it was in safe but has commented he likes to see it on my finger. I am working up courage to use Royal Albert bone china dinner service over Christmas. I am just worried if I can replace a piece if it were to get broken as was Mums.

thegrinningfox · 08/10/2018 23:30

Nope. All my best things are for everyday. Because as they are best I want to make as much use out if them as I can and want to enjoy them.

Moononthehill28 · 08/10/2018 23:30

Totally relate to this! I have realised how much stuff I have kept for best that has gone off, no longer fits or I have lost. I am consciously going to start using it all.

worriedandsad · 08/10/2018 23:44

Loving this thread - if anyone can link to the similar previous thread several posters have referred to that would be great. Thanks.

Rainbunny · 09/10/2018 00:25

I used to save things like an expensive cutlery set (wedding present) for best - a habit I got from my mum. A few years ago I realised it was silly to only use my expensive cutlery on special occasions, it's lovely, nicely weight, shiny and feels good in my hand so now we use it everyday. It actually makes a boring weeknight dinner feel a bit more special.

EnidButton · 09/10/2018 01:46

Absolutely. Life is ridiculously short. We're worth the best right now, today.

MissDai5y · 09/10/2018 02:47

Yep, I don't do for best. If I have the money to buy then I'm definitely going to use it and enjoy it. What's the point otherwise?

agnurse · 09/10/2018 05:21

My mum always uses the good china and crystal for Christmas dinner. She says you need to USE the good stuff, otherwise why have it?

Justanotheruser01 · 09/10/2018 06:06

Today my Designer handbag is coming to work with me! It was going to be my cheap oasis one now the expensive one is coming. Your right who knows whats coming

ScarsAndAll · 09/10/2018 06:16

Yes! I have a bottle of Jo Malone perfume that was a gift and I never usually use it, saving it for best. Except at that rate I will still have it by 2040!!! I need to start wearing it every day and just enjoy it.

Gardai · 09/10/2018 06:30

I wore a new sweat shirt around the house yesterday and lit an expensive candle, go me !
I intend to wear all my nice stuff as some of these stories are so sad and they act as a well needed wake up call for “keeping for best”.

Anything I won’t wear I’ll ebay and get something else or use the money.

MotherofDinosaurs · 09/10/2018 06:41

It is always better to be overdressed than to be drab. So many people go about looking drab. Jeans and jumpers and sportswear and a sea of black, grey, navy, khaki and sludge. For goodness sake brighten up and live your best life every day!

ImogenTubbs · 09/10/2018 06:54

This is such a great thread. I was slightly guilty of this when DD was very little - people bought her pretty dresses and I didn't want them to get ruined. Then I realised that she grew so fast that if I did that they'd only end up getting worn once before being too small, so now she can wear whatever she wants anytime! Better to get stained or ripped on the 10th wear than hang in the back of her wardrobe.

Teacher22 · 09/10/2018 07:10

When my sister was fourteen she told me she had a friend who went out every day in the very best things she could wear and always looked her best too. This impressed me very much but by nature I am an inveterate ‘saver for best’ and have to fight my instinct to preserve my good stuff.

Being retired has also reduced the circumstances when best is appropriate as I am at home doing housey and gardeney things most of the time.

But I fight and resist the urge to be ordinary and make myself wear and use my very nice clothes and things. I wear my very fancy watch all the time and it gives me the greatest pleasure.

I am grateful to my sister’s friend for her carpe diem wisdom.

VintageFur · 09/10/2018 08:11

I love this thread... And too am guilty.

Half-term here and highlight of the day is Asda. However I'll be wearing cashmere and diamonds. I can't even remember the last time I wore jewellery - what am I waiting for@

ferntwist · 09/10/2018 08:39

I think a lot of our grandparents ideas about ‘best’ were because ordinary life was a lot dirtier and messier. If you were working down the pit or in the fields or dairy or cooking and gardening from scratch all day like my grandparents and their parents it made sense to save a good outfit. The same for having a good room, that you wouldn’t mess up by being in it with your dirty clothes. Also it was a much bigger deal to wash and to dry.
Very much agree with using our best now.

Dilligaf81 · 09/10/2018 09:19

A few years ago I decided to wear what I want so no 'for best' and I always get comments about looking nice. Although once I was wearing a silk maxi dress and got asked if I was going to a wedding error no school run then swimming lessons but I lived that dress.
I probably care too much about what I wear and it does make me feel happy and more confident if I'm wearing nice clothes.