To think we deserve to use our "nice" stuff?

[Wickerwillow]

Every day I wear the same drab jeans and frumpy jumpers on rotation, yet I have a wardrobe full of beautiful tops and dresses in lovely finishes. Beautiful jewel tones in silk, linen or velvet still with the tags on that have never seen the light of day because I'm saving them "for best".

I've come to the conclusion that "best" never happens and "special occasions" rarely seem special enough when the day arrives. I seem to be waiting for all these worthy occasions that will be deserving of that bit of extra effort yet I can't remember the last time I gave myself permission to wear something that fell into the hand-wash only/iron on cool category...

Beaded indian slippers I never dare to wear around the house as they're too fragile.

The "nice" foundation kept at the back of the drawer, choosing instead to wear my cheap, old, dried up stuff because, you know, it's only Tuesday.

Good napkins shunned in favour of a scraggy bit of kitchen roll at dinner.

Scented candles never lit in case they, god forbid...actually burn....

My new resolution is to make use of at least one "special" thing that I already own every single day and stop accumulating treats that never get used.

Is anyone else guilty of this?

I spent so long keeping my clothes for best and now have absolutely no chance of fitting in them! It makes me laugh, I could have been wearing them everyday but I felt guilty!! It's madness isn't it.

I think it's a great idea to use all your nice stuff. Enjoy x

Sometimes I wonder if those who "save things for best" perhaps don't feel as if the items they're saving are too good for the like of them.

I recall late ex-MIL only using her front room occasionally, and a set of fine china in the cupboard in there, never used.

Some of it is also habit. Ex, who basically dictated how things went, sort of made our front room out of bounds, we had a dining table/chairs and two easy chairs/tv in the middle room.

When we moved house, the room layout did mean we actually used all the rooms.

When I was growing up, we never had a room "for best", and now it's just me and the DCs, we still don't.

@ChilliPowderMild Your story broke my heart

I couldn't agree more with this.
It hit me last year as we were sorting my DM's house and belongings after she died that she had so much stuff (clothes, china crockery, silverware, etc) that she kept "for best" or even just "for show"

I now use some of her best china that she received when she got engaged to my dad 38 years ago when friends come round for coffee and cake because it's too pretty to be locked away

I completely agree, when my Gran died there was a chest which we thought had bedding in, which was full of new clothes which Mum and her sisters had given as gifts for Christmas etc. Also had cosmetics and other bits and bobs, all saved for best - so sad.

I wonder sometimes if this is why we all have so much stuff, we buy and save things for best and buy other things to actually wear or use.

I use everything. I wear my nice clothes, I burn expensive candles regularly, nice make up every day. I stopped buying cheap stuff that breaks and only buy quality stuff that I think will last and I get enjoyment out of it.

This was me. I was a teen when I got my first bottle of "real" perfume, and I ended up saving it until it went off. I received a new one for Christmas one year shortly after - it was in a beautiful set with lotions, and I did the same thing. After it went bad, I ended up giving it to my Dsis to play with (she's much younger than me). My now DH gave me a bottle of perfume when we were dating. I still have it, not even half used. It's from ten years ago.

DH then bought me Chanel No. 5 one Christmas about five years ago, and I've used it exactly three times. Recently he bought me a scent by Jo Malone, which I've been carefully ration out for "deserving" occasions.

I think I'll wear the Chanel to bed tonight, along with the silk nightie I bought myself for when I slim down "enough" after having our baby (hasn't happened, but the nightie fits and I'm wearing it anyway). Tomorrow I'm going to wear my "best" earrings, the pearl and diamond ones that I always worry about using. Thanks OP.

@ChilliPowderMild

I’ve stopped doing this now as those Best occasions just never happen.

I always do this and think it's because I worry if I wear something out I mightnt be able to afford to replace it. I think it comes from my dad being made redundant when we were young. You're right though. Every day is a special occasion.

What @Flyingpompom said, ad infinitum.

Use the stuff. Don't keep it for best. Now is the best. You are the best.

I'm the opposite, OP! I use my favourite lovely things every day - the only thing I ration is the use of the crystal glasses left to us by parents. But I do get them out fairly regularly - ie when we have guests or need a bit of a cheer up. I am a firm believer in using nice things on a daily basis - they give me a boost, and saving them only means that clumsy me will probably break them anyway, while tidying a cupboard.

Good luck and enjoy your lovely stuff!

I don't do "best", I do "now". I used to save my favourite perfume for best and only had one bottle. Then several tragedies hit friends and family, with a couple of women (both mothers) dying very young .

At that moment I vowed to wear my perfume every day, to have more than one sort, to wear pretty clothes every day, to mix them up for work and going out, to just be me and wear what I want when I want.

I have one set of cutlery, one set of china, after witnessing years of my mum saving stuff "for best" and never using it.

I wear my rings every day rather than save them for going out. I don't have "best" anything and I love the freedom.

Life is simply just too short OP, enjoy those lovely things now or you may never get the chance.

When I was a child I would save lovely things that I was given, toiletries, makeup, perfume, it would all go off and I would never use it because it was "too nice to use"!

My mum was guilty of this and I always get really excited when I where something new on the day I bought it and don’t save it for best 🤣

When we got married and got a nice dinner service from the wedding list, I swore that I’d use it every day as I had seen my grandparents use their ‘best’ China or crystal glasses just once a year and it seemed sad when they died that these best bits were tossed or sold for pennies and hadn’t been enjoyed. We’ve used the dinner service and the expensive glasses every day and have been married 15yrs! Life’s too short to save things that you like.

I have pieces of clothing which I tend to save for evenings out or special occasions but I refuse to save expensive pieces for best and would much rather wear what I feel happy in. Same with candles, I burn the jo Malones as life is too short to be tight and frugal.

I used to have weekday scents and now I use the ones I love regardless. It’s sad when they run out but better to enjoy them and feel good.

I’m on board with the “use the nice stuff every day” ethos, I have a drawer full of partly used expensive perfumes that I wear every day and use them up.
My ‘best’ crockery set was a set I bought because I liked them. They weren’t expensive, but I liked them. I passed on the ‘functional and all I could afford at the time’ set & use my nice set. I’d rather they were used and broken one by one than not used, and probably all broken at once by moving them or something daft.

In the past I have declined offers of such ‘nice things’ for ‘best’ because I know that I’d hate to see them languish in dust but also be upset if one got broken.

Nice things that I don’t get chance to use I pass on, knowing that there’s someone out there who will enjoy using them - no guilt about who gave them to me or how long I’ve had them, it’s someone else’s turn to enjoy them now.

There was a thread like this a while ago and it was lovely.

I need to do this more. I've fallen back into bad habits.

I have embarked on the 'clearing the loft' mission, too. I have lots of lovely things in boxes up there that I saved for when I had a house. I have a house now and the things are in the loft. Vases, ornaments etc. They all need to come out and be on display and I will get lots of dust-proof places for them

I need to go through my clothes again. I have just done a job where I have acquired loads of new t shirts that are basically not 'presentable' clothes but comfy. I am going to go through my 'old t shirt' drawer and slimline it down, get rid of anything that I don't ever wear any more and get some new NICE clothes that have no holes in.

I do deserve to look nice. Despite feeling that I don't.

My mum used to do this with food - expensive avocados and aubergine would go bad in the bottom of the fridge, ditto smoked salmon, prawns... etc. All used to go bad because it was "too good" for a week day. Crazy!

I used to do is, but then thought why? Why have an unused Mulberry handbag in a cloth bag in your wardrobe. So I started using them, the hand bag, the Molton and Brown foot scrub, the diamond earrings that DH bought me at great expense that I just thought what a waste of money.

And it's lovely, if I lose them tomorrow at least I have enjoyed them.

When my MIL died of a heart attack, her wardrobe was stuffed full of stuff she'd never worn,

I just don't buy the "nice" stuff in the first place

i really want to sort my clothes out and get rid of the old stuff.
yesterday I wore a plain t-shirt that I had bought in August for the first time. I had been putting it off and kept on wearing the shabby bits.

I never had anything as a child bar hand-me-downs and second hand uniform. anything that was (rarely) bought new was saved for best.

I suffer with huge self esteem issues and deny myself things all the time.

I only heard of the concept of saving things for best when a mum friend said this about some of her DS's clothes last year. Completely alien to me! 😂