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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you fancy you OH if you met him now?

229 replies

LolaPickle · 06/10/2018 16:16

When we first met - ten years ago ,my husband looked and acted VERY different, he was up for a laugh, looked very very different and was much more outgoing. Now he is the opposite of what i would find attractive and is very different socially / takes life very seriously

Would you still fancy you OH if you met him today?

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 07/10/2018 11:26

Im not sure if men do age better tbh. How many 50 year old men did you look at and swoon over when you were 23? You might have thought some were attractive for their age...

I read the results of a study a few years ago which tried to analyse what men and women found attractive. It showed that women found men close to their own age most attractive throughout their lives, I think apart from about aged 30 when women went slightly lower. For men it barely changed. Whether they were 20, 30, 40 or 50, the men were most attracted to the women in their early 20s.

BengalLioness · 07/10/2018 11:27

10 years has changed my DH for the better. He now looks like a man , I like his ruggedness. I met him when he was 20 and still had his teenage body back then. I was 18. He's grown up loads now and we can talk about things seriously. His personality hasn't changed much- he's still the fun crazy guy but sometimes drives me up the wall!!

Stonebake · 07/10/2018 11:34

I work in hospitality and see a lot of very wealthy, older couples coming in. Ime, men do not age better. The women all look fab and a lot of the men have some seriously dodgy dye jobs and face fillers. I think the women are about the same age, but wear it better. They seem to be at choosing hair colour and clothes for a start. I’ve also noticed where I work that seemingly confident, successful women still take orders from their male OHs though. It’s really sad. Also when there’s a young woman around the men tend to switch on what they see as “the charm” and drone on about their last company and how profitable it was. I can see the women having to nod and smile and look impressed. It’s funny but cringe too!

Stonebake · 07/10/2018 11:38

Seem to be better at choosing*

Verbena87 · 07/10/2018 11:44

More - we met when he was 24 and he’s now 34. He’s got the loveliest eyes and they seem to get bluer and sparklier every year, plus he does a lot more exercise now so has the pertest and peachiest bum of anyone I know. I think we’ve both grown into our faces nicely.

fluffiphlox · 07/10/2018 11:44

I still find my husband attractive and we’ve known each other since university days and we’ve been married more than thirty years. I still get a bit of a thrill if I have to meet up with him somewhere.
If you think your OH is an unkempt misery-guts, get out now or have another forty years of it. (My in-laws were married for more than sixty years. He was horrible to her. I really don’t know why she put up with it and I had less respect for her because of it).

batshite1 · 07/10/2018 12:02

I think it’s a myth that men age better. Some men & women hold onto their looks & look more distinguished as they age, some lose their looks & some grow into them.

n0ne · 07/10/2018 13:07

I'd fancy him even more, I think. His personality hasn't changed, and that's the best bit of him, but looks-wise he's gone pleasingly grey and distinguished. I think a lot of men get better with age, and he certainly has.

mostdays · 07/10/2018 13:10

Oh yes. So, so much.

He says he would fancy me, too, but I don't believe him Thu!

ThomasShelbysBunnet · 07/10/2018 13:15

Hmm, if he were suited and booted, yes. If he were cutting about the house with those bloody pyjama bottoms on, no.
Pretty sure he would say the same about me Grin

That is just based on looks though.

Personality, yes I would still fancy him. But agree with PP who said they've noticed more moaning and negativity in recent years.

MrsJBaptiste · 07/10/2018 14:47

Hmm, if he were suited and booted, yes. If he were cutting about the house with those bloody pyjama bottoms on, no

I asked DH this morning what he thinks about me and hospitality answer was pretty much this ^ 😅

I do love my comfy joggers when I get in from work!

ToastyFingers · 07/10/2018 15:57

Yup. He's just as handsome and funny as ever it now he's greyer and a bit more toned.

The years have treated the man well. Me, on the other hand...

ToastyFingers · 07/10/2018 16:11

and to answer a previous question, we're 11 years in and the kids are 5 and 2.

BlueJava · 07/10/2018 16:14

Yes, I still fancy him, we met 23 years ago.

harvestwheat · 07/10/2018 16:16

Physically perhaps more so now. Personality wise no. Perhaps he's always been that way and I didn't realise.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 07/10/2018 16:28

No but I doubt he’d fancy me either.

ChodeofChodeHall · 07/10/2018 16:31

Yes, definitely, he was fine back then and he's fine now, just slightly greyer.

Saltedcaramelcake · 07/10/2018 16:37

I met my husband when we were both 21, I actually think we are both better looking now at 35 than we were then. I'd still really fancy him if I met him now without a doubt, I've always had a type looks wise and he is literally it.

RadioDorothy · 07/10/2018 16:47

Yes, my husband has aged well and he's hairy, rugged and haaaawt. He can be grumpy and impatient and doesn't laugh at my jokes either, but he's certainly not a miserable sod. My friends like going through my WhatsApp images to see the many different silly faces he pulls to send me, and the daft things he does with stupid shit he finds in shops. He's hilarious.

And he does all the cooking and cleaning. Stand back, he is taken.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 07/10/2018 16:52

Following up on my post yesterday, I walked out of the shower this morning to see DH standing naked in front of the wardrobe and was thinking “phwoar” when he turned round and saw me, also naked, and said “oh yes, I’m a lucky man!”. Beating my own drum a bit I know but so nice to know that 30+ years and two children later I’ve still got it 😉.

HildaZelda · 07/10/2018 17:38

Nothing to do with DH personally, but if I'd known then what I know now about his bloody family, I'm not sure I'd have married him.

Stonebake · 07/10/2018 18:27

Aw I love that buggeroff.

RoboticSealpup · 07/10/2018 19:12

Absolutely I would. He's even more handsome now, as well as being even more confident and comfortable with himself. And he's the most amazing, loving father to our 4YO DD. We've got another on the way. We've been together for 9 years, married for six.

Verbena87 · 07/10/2018 19:45

buggeroff that’s the best feeling. There’s a great poem by Selima Hill

Verbena87 · 07/10/2018 19:50

Oops, hasty posting! It’s called ‘please can I have a man’, is glorious throughout, but ends especially perfectly - I love ‘opens his arms like a trough for me to dive into’

Would you fancy you OH if you met him now?