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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you fancy you OH if you met him now?

229 replies

LolaPickle · 06/10/2018 16:16

When we first met - ten years ago ,my husband looked and acted VERY different, he was up for a laugh, looked very very different and was much more outgoing. Now he is the opposite of what i would find attractive and is very different socially / takes life very seriously

Would you still fancy you OH if you met him today?

OP posts:
Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:50

Yes beachmat I was seriously attracted to my DH in the beginning and after 26 yrs together and 22 married I fancy him even more. He was tall and slim, still is, he has thick hair, no greys yet(bastard) but I would't mind at all, that would add to his sexiness imo.

Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:52

Agree with Up though that iy would mean nothing if he wasn't a caring albeit strictish father, it's his kindness that sold him to me 100% and that hasn't changed. He is the calming water to my fiery nature. Sorry that sounds so cringe but it works for us.

Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:54

Ah prime that is wonderful to hear.

Bumbledop · 06/10/2018 17:59

Absolutely!! He looks better now than ever!!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/10/2018 18:00

@beachmat I think you're probably right. One of my friends said that I'm the only woman she knows who consistently says nice things about her DH. Another said, during a slag off session about her H, "well you actually like yours". Lots of unhappy women around. With, from what I can see, perfectly happy Hs. Either oblivious or uncaring.

Catmum26 · 06/10/2018 18:01

i think my hubby has got sexier. i dont think he’d say the same about me though!

MorningsEleven · 06/10/2018 18:02

Yeah. Above everything he's a really good bloke. I've never heard anyone say anything negative about him in the 27 years I've known him (apart from my mother but I'm 4 years NC with her).

Fishcakey · 06/10/2018 18:04

God yes! We're both older and fatter and he's a bit balder but he totally still does it for me. I just hope I still do it for him!

BrokeLuce · 06/10/2018 18:05

Physically he's slightly larger but I'm not fussed. He dresses better and has much better hygiene since I came along.

Had I known that he would be incapable of listening to me when I spoke I wouldn't have married him. It causes so many problems and arguments, never mind being rude and disrespectful, but he won't change. If I point out yet another example of him not listening he rolls his eyes and calls me a nag. Having a baby with him definitely opened my eyes to the extra mental labour I took on.

weebarra · 06/10/2018 18:16

Absolutely! I don't know if he'd fancy me though. He's a fabulous guy. 23 years, 3 kids and a wee dose of breast cancer later, I still think he's great and gorgeous.

MrsClayneCrawford · 06/10/2018 18:21

I fancy my DH more now but it's more about his personality than his looks. I sat across from him on our first date (16 years ago) & thought how lovely he was & that hasn't changed. He's kind, romantic, very support & has the patience of a saint. I love him & can't wait to grow old together ❤

myusernameisnotmyusername · 06/10/2018 18:22

Yes I definitely would. I still fancy him like mad after 16 years.

whereiscaroline · 06/10/2018 18:31

This thread is making me feel like I ought to rethink my relationship Sad

No physical attraction left, I don't particularly look forward to seeing him, we never do anything together and actually I find him quite irritating sometimes. I thought that just happened in all relationships after a few years.

Starlings27 · 06/10/2018 18:31

I’d still be attracted to DP. Whether he’d want me after the ruin our DS has made of my body is another thing.

HavelockVetinari · 06/10/2018 18:32

Definitely! Although we've only been together for 9 years so it'd be pretty sad if I didn't. He's just gorgeous and lovely and kind and supportive. And does his 50% of housework/childcare without a peep.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/10/2018 18:34

Interesting to see how a lot of what’s changed for people, good and bad, is how their DH/DP is different.

When my XH I got together I fancied him because I liked him so much, it didn’t start off as a physical thing but became one and 10 years later physically he hadn’t changed a bit and I could barely look at him. Who he was and how he acted was unrecognisable and on the appearances front the lack of change, of maturing in his tastes and effectively growing up was a big turn off.

When we were skint youngsters I didn’t notice he only ever wore trainers and bought the same type every two years. By the end it drove me nuts he refused to ever try anything else and still dressed like he was a teenager when we’d both had several different jobs and aged a decade. It turned into an incredibly abusive miserable marriage and I still remember feeling enraged by his love of trainers! Funny how things work out.

beachmat · 06/10/2018 18:34

Me too @whereiscaroline Confused

tempname111 · 06/10/2018 18:34

Yep. He's a silver fox and very engaging Smile

Allineedyoutodois · 06/10/2018 18:35

I fancy the pants off DW still...

LEMtheoriginal · 06/10/2018 18:36

25 years in and yes. If we are in town and gone our separate ways when we meet up I'll often look twice before i realise its him. Hes not traditio ally goodlookibg

Blackberry10 · 06/10/2018 18:38

Yep been together 16 years and married for 13. He still give me a thrill when he has got ready for work and is all shaved and fresh in his shirt and tie. In fact I have made him late a couple of times by undressing him.
He has the most gorgeous eyes that make me melt and the way he says certain works makes my tummy flip

ferrier · 06/10/2018 18:43

No physical attraction left, I don't particularly look forward to seeing him, we never do anything together and actually I find him quite irritating sometimes. I thought that just happened in all relationships after a few years.

I'm with you. I reckon we are in the majority judging by (a) the number of people that get divorced and (b) what I hear from my friends that are still married.

PomPomBears2 · 06/10/2018 18:48

Definitely, absolutely YES!!!

(Although not with his current hair cut Sad which appeared a couple of days ago !!)

whereiscaroline · 06/10/2018 18:49

@ferrier perhaps we are in the majority. But reading these responses does make me wonder whether I'm doing myself out of a happy relationship with good sex!

I honestly thought these kind of feelings normally wear off after the first 12 months or so, amazed to see so many people still so attracted to and adoring of their partners. It's simultaneously depressing and heart-warming.

bellsbuss · 06/10/2018 18:53

Yes , he's very very attractive. My friends always say to me how attractive he is and I see women look at him when we are out, doesn't bother me I like it.