Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you fancy you OH if you met him now?

229 replies

LolaPickle · 06/10/2018 16:16

When we first met - ten years ago ,my husband looked and acted VERY different, he was up for a laugh, looked very very different and was much more outgoing. Now he is the opposite of what i would find attractive and is very different socially / takes life very seriously

Would you still fancy you OH if you met him today?

OP posts:
FlippinNora1 · 06/10/2018 17:31

Yes, I still fancy him and think if I met him now I’d be quite attracted to him.

His special cat jumper might put me off though. It’s one he wears when the cat sits on him and does that pummelly thing with her claws. That’s a big gross. But to be fair that cat thing is my influence. He hated cats when we first met. Now he loves ours so much he has a special manky jumper just for her Grin

Sallystyle · 06/10/2018 17:32

Hell yes, he just gets better and better.

Harleypuppy · 06/10/2018 17:33

Yes. We were 21 when we got together. I liked his thick hair and boyish looks. We're now 45 and he has still got sparkly eyes, but the hair is balding and he isn't boyish looking. But I'd still go out with him as he is still good looking but more manly. Also has a thick furry chest which I love. He's my bear!! He's aged well.
What he sees in me still I have no idea.

IWouldLikeToKnow · 06/10/2018 17:34

He's probably improved with age - me - not so much!!

Almostfifty · 06/10/2018 17:34

Mine has less hair, but looks exactly the same otherwise, even after 35 years together.

I still think he's the best looking man I've ever met.

Original poster
LolaPickle · 06/10/2018 17:34

Glad it is not just me, beachmat

It is not just physical appearance, although I never did like bald men one bit - and I have somehow ended up with one. I never did like chubby guys...and somehow I ended up with one

Its more about how moody and serious he has got. It is like has had a personality transplant. He literally gets on with NO ONE these days. all my mates think he is a mardy fuck. he wont DO anything that doesnt involve sitting on his arse in front the tele.

Even when we have a conversation he is constantly trying to play devils advocate. I mean yeah but sometimes I wish he was on my side. I could go home and tell him someone had punched me in the face and he would reason it to be somehow I had asked for it.. (This hasn't happend btw, but it is like we share no views on anything these days he always says opposite...whether he believes it or not....)

Oh i feel like shit, feel like i have opened a can of worms for us all now, sorry x

OP posts:
79Fleur · 06/10/2018 17:35

Absolutely my other half is a sexy beast and devastatingly handsome and is also incredibly charming - love him to bits!

cementpointing · 06/10/2018 17:35

yep, he's got it going on even more now. i have not retained my attractiveness - weight on and early grey is a thing in my family. 65 year olds check me out now instead of hot 40s men.

Original poster
LolaPickle · 06/10/2018 17:35

I think this whole train of thought is why I started the 'one that got away ' thread.

Fuck me, i 'more often than is healthy' think about how things could have been

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 06/10/2018 17:35

Yes I'd still fancy him. Age looks good on him so the fact he's not as skinny and had lots of grey hair suits him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/10/2018 17:37

This seemed like a light-hearted thread but it's not really. It's only been ten years in your case so how has he changed so much? Were there reasons or was he always like this? Do you actually want to stay with him for the rest of your life?

BTW I divorced the one before DH. DH is the keeper but they aren't all keepers Sad

Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:38

22 years married , 2 kids in. Absolutely! If anything I fancy him more. He was always young looking so a bit of age has served him well, he's still in great shape and respect who he is as a man, father and husband.

Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:41

MrsTerry I agree that modesty is seriously hot! Never been attracted to the big ego men.

GreenDinosaur · 06/10/2018 17:42

Honestly, no. We've both changed so much, I find it really hard to imagine what I ever saw in him.
I can't remember feeling desire but I guess I must have done once.

Athena51 · 06/10/2018 17:43

Yep, we've been together 6 years and I fancy him even more than at the beginning because I know what an amazing person he is.

FlamingoLass · 06/10/2018 17:43

Nope Grin

Harleypuppy · 06/10/2018 17:44

Does he have depression?
Don't feel bad. Me and dh had a big argument on Thursday, he does admit he was being an arse hole because of a bad day at work. We then had a massive argument in the car this afternoon because I was upset about Thursday still. He told me the conversation we had, which I thought he'd agreed with me, he wasn't listening because he was 'thinking about something else '!! Red rag to a bull!!! We are having a really bad time with ds1 at the moment and it's impacting our relationship. So your thread came at the right time for me. Thank you.
But back to you. Is there a hobby/activity your dh can do to remind himself who he used to be?

Conseulabananahammock · 06/10/2018 17:44

Absolutley. Possibly more as 10 years on he has a more mature smouldering thing going on sigh

beachmat · 06/10/2018 17:44

Don't feel bad for opening a can of worms, lolapickle. Those worms were already out, lol. Do you think your husband is just a mardy bastard or could he be depressed? Either way he sounds very difficult to live with. Thanks

beachmat · 06/10/2018 17:46

I have to say I'm very surprised at the people who say they fancy their DH more! Really? Is that the norm?? I thought my slightly disappointed life was the norm...

SoyDora · 06/10/2018 17:48

I don’t know if it’s the norm or not. But DH has proved to me over and over again what a good man he is and that makes me fancy him more!

Everyoneiswingingit · 06/10/2018 17:48

Really sorry about your own circumstances OP, that must be hard. What has changed? Are you able to talk to him? Could you go to a counsellor together?

primoestate · 06/10/2018 17:49

Known my DH 40 years. He's better looking now at 60. A very handsome man.

thereallifesaffy · 06/10/2018 17:49

Great question!
We've been married 25 years and just now I'm menopausal so hard to give a straight answer!
But. He's in great physical shape. Same clothes size as back in the day. So yes, he's still fanciable. I'm just not in the mood as often!!

Upslidedown · 06/10/2018 17:49

Yeah. DH is an attractive bloke so while he's put on a fair bit of weight and acquired a fair few wrinkles (as have I) physically I still fancy him.

But we recently went through a rough patch tied to him being a moody fucker and acting put upon and it was really unattractive. He's sorted himself out and things are good again. So while looks matter, you can be married to the most gorgeous man and if he's mardy then you're not likely to fancy him.