To think there is too much stress and importance placed on education?

[CharlotteWebb]

I think education is important - of course it is.

BUT

I work a lot with young people and find that an awful lot of youngsters are suffering more and more with anxiety and all sorts of negative feelings because they feel they under so much stress to excel in their schooling.

As a parent I encourage my children to complete homework and try their best, but if they don't do well in exams, it's a shame but not the end of the world.

I think sometimes it's too easy to put pressure on our youngsters and they feel there are no alternatives?

I know of quite a few adults who are actually not academic at all - left school with no qualifications and are now rather successful either working for themselves or retrained later in life as an adult?

WIBU to think although individuals should do their best, it's also not a massive deal if one doesn't get high grades in their exam?.

I couldn’t disagree more. Education is the greatest social equaliser.
There have always been exam pressures and that is not the problems with mental health, from my perspective. I think there are other pressures and triggers that a sound focus on attainment actually prevent.

If you’re working hard to achieve, you’ve less time for social media influence and drama. Less time to do precocious boyfriend/girlfriend things that create angst when children feel pressured but aren’t mature enough to cope with.
If you’re worrying about exams your not fretting about whether you’ve got the right sort of trainers or haircut.
I also think overprotective risk averse parenting that sells the myth of perpetual happiness is partly to blame too.

I agree with you. My Dd is born at time of year whenwe have to decide to send her to school at 4.5 or 5.5 and we are keen to delay it to avoid her getting drawn into that world of pressure any earlier than necessary. It seems that not many people think like this and just say that she’s bright so she’ll be ‘ready’. I wish I had a better system to send her into tbh so the least I can do is delay it until she’s a bit older and stronger to help her cope with all the testing and expectations.

Agree with Cherry 100%

Cherry, in my experience worrying about the right trainers or a boyfriend or girlfriend is simply added to the stress about education, not replaced by it

It’s a particular type of privilege, not to have to worry too much about your child getting a good education.

Those kids who come to school and say ‘my dad got no GCSEs and is doing ok’ really frustrate me. It was a very different job market back then, plus education opens doors. Why would you want to make your DCs’ lives harder than they need to be?

I do get where you're coming from in a way op. I was always told if you work hard it will pay off...and then my degree went tits up and I was completely lost. It really did affect my mental health because I had tried really hard. At the time I was devestated but actually in hindsight can see I wasn't ready for it and if I hadn't felt it was the done thing I would have waited a few years and gone back a little bit older and wiser. I do think it depends on what people want to do as some jobs require certain exam results although I also know people who have excelled without qualifications.

I think there is shades of grey here.

Children should be encouraged and supported to hit their educational potential. If they are not capable then they should not be penalised or made to feel bad, they should not be pushed to achieve something they can't.

But if they can achieve it they should be supported to do so. No one needs to be an under achiever with the right support and encouragement. So it's not as simple as saying doing your best and it's fine whatever you get.

That's lazy, it's about recognising your child's abilities and limits and where they need support and encouragement or gentle dissuasion and taking it from there.

I wish we could broaden our definition of education. I see a lot of people in these discussions refer to the Asian systems and how we need to compete and want to say "but those students are stressed and miserable".

What about team skills? Creativity? Innovation? Resilience? Empathy? Education should include all sorts of things rather than just being a measure of how to pass exams.

Why would you want to make your DCs’ lives harder than they need to be?

I'm not - as I said in the OP I will encourage them to do their best

Snuggy - yes you are right - I think I was referring to the academic side of education - mainly examinations

I agree with noble giraffe.

I think the current structure of the education system in England does make things more stressful for children than need be, but overall I think education is so important. And what is sad is that a lot of young people don’t achieve their full potential because they don’t have the support to achieve that.

Yes, I agree. Obviously some jobs require particular educational attainment to enter them such as anything medical or law for example, but most other industries can be entered by sheer will and networking. I quit my degree and got very mediocre a level results and my job and level now is absolutely no different to what it would be is I finished the degree. In fact I’m further along than some people who studied the same degree and have struggled to get a job.

I really disagree that worrying about exams means you’re not worrying about social things like trainers or boy/girlfriends. Obviously the atmosphere will vary between schools but in my school the studious high achievers were relentlessly teased for being geeks and boffins which I’m sure added another layer of stress for them (myself included until puberty hit and almost overnight I stopped caring about getting the best grades)

The problem is, it is a big deal. It isn't the end of the world, but a child's attainment in formal education (or lack thereof) is likely to affect them forever in subtle or not-so-subtle ways. Even if they go on to do well, if there is under-achievement there, they will be penalised for it. Sad, but true.

Education is important, what children shouldn't feel is that their academic results reflect their worth as a person.
It's just school results.

Lweji - yes I agree, that's the message I try and give to my children

OP, do you have stats for those who do well in life having done poorly at school versus those you do badly in life having done poorly at school? Obviously anecdote isn’t data but IME those who do badly at school end up living a life of dead end menial jobs that offer them very little.

When you are in the exam system it's pretty all consuming. I know this sounds awful but I had a painkiller stockpile when I was doing my GCSEs as I was scared of failing them. Teens don't have the same ability to put things like exam results into perspective like adults do.

River - no I don't have stats, just personal experience an opinions

The kids who come in to class saying ‘my dad got no GCSEs and is doing fine’ don’t value education, and are usually underachievers pissing away their potential.

Telling a kid that they don’t need a good education isn’t encouraging them to do their best.

I agree with lweji. I specialise in teaching lower set, disaffected students. So much of it is building their confidence and encouraging them to take a risk by trying. It’s so much easier for them not to try at all and attribute their results to that.

Another way of looking at it is to ask why jobs that didn't need GCSEs a generation ago need them now? Why aren't there more opportunities to train on the job?

noble - nobody has told a kid that they don't need a good education though have they?

What I am saying is support and encourage a child to do their best, but if they don't get great results then there are alternatives. It's not the end of the world

Nobody? Charlotte? But they do. I have taught quite a few. The ones who have been told at home about the adults in your OP who got no qualifications and are doing ok, so they assume that they will too.

The ones who are told that they can just work for their dad when they leave school.

Those kids have been told they don’t need a good education. And so they don’t get one.

My dad has no formal education or qualifications and he did very well for himself.

However that is because he left school at 14 and took an apprenticeship. When he was ready to start working for himself there was full employment and he could pretty much pick where he worked.
The world simply isn’t the same today.

There are always alternatives. But of what quality and in what numbers? The better the results, the wider the field of options. It's as simple as that.