To think there is too much stress and importance placed on education?

[CharlotteWebb]

I think education is important - of course it is.

BUT

I work a lot with young people and find that an awful lot of youngsters are suffering more and more with anxiety and all sorts of negative feelings because they feel they under so much stress to excel in their schooling.

As a parent I encourage my children to complete homework and try their best, but if they don't do well in exams, it's a shame but not the end of the world.

I think sometimes it's too easy to put pressure on our youngsters and they feel there are no alternatives?

I know of quite a few adults who are actually not academic at all - left school with no qualifications and are now rather successful either working for themselves or retrained later in life as an adult?

WIBU to think although individuals should do their best, it's also not a massive deal if one doesn't get high grades in their exam?.

Of course education is important and everyone should get the same educational opportunities because it is the key to social mobility.
Not everybody will be able to excel though even given those opportunities and we should recognise those children's other strengths instead of making them feel like failures because they don't excel academically.

I always tell my DD that all I want from her is to know she tried her very best. If she's done that the outcome doesn't matter. I am cross though if I know she could have done better but wouldn't put the effort in.

I disagree. I work in a field that used to need no qualifications. I have worked in this field for 20 years. But more and more employers are saying that a degree in anything, is essential. My DP works in a field for which there used to be no qualifications, although training was required, Now days you would not get the job without qualifications. Unless you start your own business or work in a family business or have parents who can get you a job, most jobs that are beyond NMW, do now require qualifications for starters.

I think that's it in a nutshell,in today's world educational achievement is a big deal,it is important, in many many things.

It's not the same as years ago, where a foot in the door was what mattered. Now you need the education. To get that foot in the door.

Yes there is alternatives like apprenticeships, but that's only all well and good if that's what the child wants to be, it's not so good if it's all that's available to them and they don't want it.

But again, this is assuming ability. If a child doesn't have the ability to perform academically then finding other options is where it's at. As a pp said, no one should feel a failure.

But saying well I did fine with no GCSEs doesn't really work anymore.

And the reasons schools put so much focus on it, is because they know it's important, not because they are over zealous arseholes.

I’ve worked with children who have been explicitly told that getting a B is a fail and god forbid you pick the wrong subject for GCSEs, you’re entire academic life is over. I’ve been into schools where it is expected everyone goes to Uni, and therefore you’ve somehow failed if you don’t make it there.
I’ve friends who have gone to Oxbridge who were miserable there, grew up believing parental support and love was contingent on their academic attainment.

I think it must be very hard to get the balance between supporting / encouraging and too pushy. The line very likely changes according to personality of child and what else is going on in their life.

All I know is that I’ve seen many an adolescent with eating disorders, self harm, suicidal anxiety etc and in many cases academic pressure and all round pressure to be ‘perfect’ has certainly contributed to mental health problems.

noble - oh that's very sad some parents will tell their child they don't need a good education, definitely sends the wrong message.

Guess I was thinking of the parents who are the opposite and place an overwhelming sense of importance on results - you know where a child's whole world is consumed by studying. I guess it's all about balance at the end of the day

Calming - yes that's what I mean about too much importance and stress. See I think that is totally out of order.

I totally disagree OP.

I suspect you are confusing education with qualifications.

Either way it is very difficult now to get even a minimum wage job without level 2 English and Maths.

Of course there are individuals who have succeeded in spite of poor/no qualifications. They tend to have other skills, or have specific learning difficulties such as dyslexia which make qualifications difficult, but may be extremely intelligent and good at remembering spoken word and using that education to their advantage.

Most apprenticeships either require level 2 Maths and English to enrol, or L2 Maths in English will form part of the programme.

There isn't though is there? Surely this thread is proof of parents trying to moly coddle children from academic competition. Life has always been a competition in one form or another. If young people can't cope with the reality that they will be in constant competition in one form or another with their peers then they lack resilience.

And most vocational qualifications and apprenticeships require a GCSE in Maths and English.

A well rounded education is the best thing. Having a A* in maths is good, however a B in maths and being able to fix your own car is better.

I am not saying qualifications are not important though am I? I am saying there are other options if results aren't achieved One of which would be to resit - possibly at a later date in a different environment

Exactly Redneck :)

My DH didn't go to school but has so many more useful skills than I have - one of which is fixing the car (mine)!

I think the pass rate for core subject resits is about 18%.

Why would you want to make your DCs’ lives harder than they need to be?

I don't think placing importance on education is making your child's life harder than it needs to be though. My parents encouraged me to work really hard at school. I came from a very deprived area, and got into a very good grammar school, and from there went on to uni. I was the only person from my primary school year group to eventually go on to uni - the majority left school after GCSEs. I'm late 20s and earning about £40k.

My husband's parents placed no really importance on education and so he didnt bother at school. Left with next to no qualifications and at 33 is now really struggling to get a 'career'. He took a risk a couple of months ago and left his very stable but still less than £20k job, to move into something else. He didn't excel quickly enough in the new role and they let him go after 2 weeks. He's now struggling to find something even at minimum wage. His mum is practically living in poverty because of her lack of education meant she struggling to find anything more than part time minimum wage work, especially now as she approaches retirement.

In my opinion, the parents who don't think education is important are the ones whose children will struggle later in life. You're perhaps making their childhood a little easier, but making their lives harder in the long run.

Purple that was exactly my point. Not valuing education and not encouraging them to make the most of school is making your children’s lives harder than it needs to be because education opens doors and lack of qualifications closes them.

My worry is how to balance emphasising education and not damaging the mental health if you have a child who isn't naturally academic.

I'm not sure reasonably hard work for a shortish period of time, with proper balance and breaks, does damage the mental health.

It's a balance isn't it?

With the best will in the world, my DD's aren't going to set the world alight with their results.

Had I said to DD1 that she had to get As and Bs so she could do A levels and then Uni, I would have been setting her up to fail, and piling on stupid stress.
Instead I said try your best, qualifications give you options, and really really try to pass your English & maths.

So yes, education matters. But don't make children feel like failures if the best they can do is scrape a handful of 4s.

But if the child just can't grasp academic concepts and do well in exams despite teaching then pressuring them and telling them they will go on to have a crap life (even if it is true) will be mentally harmful.

No matter how good a teacher is there will always be less intelligent/academic people.

@CharlotteWebb actually , i wholeheartedly disagree . Education is one of the best thing's you can give to your child , this comes from someone who had parents who did not show any interest towards my education and how I have suffered in adult hood partly due to that . I am almost tiger mumish 🤷🏼‍♀️😆🤷🏼‍♀️😆

@CharlotteWebb I have actually read all your posts now and of course exam results are not the be all and end all but to show an interest in your child's education and to encourage them to do well is very important .i don't know any parents who scold their children for not doing well in exams and I would only scold mine if they were consistently not revising and not showing an interest and then failing and then having a blasé attitude -that would reallywindmeup...

I think some posters are misinterpreting this to 'education is not important'.

That's the opposite of what I am saying.

I think Snuggy knows what I am talking about :)

I think some posters are misinterpreting this to 'education is not important'.

That’s probably because of your reference to adults who got no qualification who are doing fine and your idea that GCSEs can easily be resat at a later date.

Education is important. There is a girl in my class who is completely uninterested in doing any work and says she hates school. Her parents don't value education and have passed this attitude down to her so now she is underachieving.