To know full well I’m being unreasonable but feel pissed off with my parents anyway

[wrongwayaround]

When I was born my parents decided to use the name they intended to use as my first name as a middle name. The reason for this was because the initials spelled something and they thought it was funny.

So rather than being Anna Jane Morrison I am Jane Anna Morrison but called Anna. That’s not my real name but for illustrative purposes it suits - they thought having ‘jam’ as my initials was amusing (not my real initials either.)

So here are some of the issues it has created:

• being called the wrong name by teachers because I was ‘jane’ on the register.

• never knowing which name is recorded anywhere in an official capacity so banks, doctors and so on having to hunt for Anna and Jane.

• nearly being unable to fly once as I had made the booking as Anna and my passport said Jane.

• a professional investigation at work due to them not believing I held the qualification I did as there was no record of me at the regulatory body.

Quite honestly it infuriates me.

And I know you can change your name but it’s been more trouble than it is worth as I need to have an enhanced DBS for work and it looks as though I have something to hide when I don’t.

I know I am unreasonable but it does irritate me that my parents have caused me a lifetime of inconvenience for a stupid unfunny joke.

Ah yes I forgot all about cheques ...luckily I rarely get them now due to online banking.

I have the additional problem that ‘anna’ is actually a foreign name no one can spell or pronounce!

My mum had this, she was Margaret but everyone knew her as Josie. But, honestly, she just used Margaret Josephine on all official things, it’s not rocket science is it?

Isn’t it just the same as, say, a Catherine going by Cathy. But you just remember to use the official version on forms, job applications etc.

My husband uses his middle name day to day. Anything official like driving licence, passport, job and medical stuff is done in his christian name. Friends and family use his middle name.

Why would you book a flight under a different name to that on your passport? That's your own fault I'm afraid.

Puppy as I have explained it might not be rocket science but it is confusing because sometimes I am Jane and other times Anna.

If I could start my life over from 18 yes I would do this ... as it is I am a mishmash of things and it is confusing. For example if I apply for a new job, and I put Jane Anna on the application I then have to explain at interview I am Anna and the bank statement they have to prove my address says Anna but my passport says Jane. My references refer to me as Anna. So do I put down Anna which is what I want them to call me or Jane? I tend to go with the former. But I then need to explain myself, adding to an already stressful situation.

Well yes hash but because I booked it and I am Anna.

Most the time I forget I have another name.

nearly being unable to fly once as I had made the booking as Anna and my passport said Jane.

Surely your passport had both forenames listed? I have always been under the impression that you have to record your full name on passports and flight tickets must match what’s on the passport.

Can’t see why you don’t just put “A. Jane” on all other documentation or even “Anna Jane” and then just ask ppl to call you “Jane”.

Your present system doesn’t seem to be working well but I don’t see why it’s inherently more problematic than a person whose given name is Elizabeth but prefers to be known as Beth.

But surely filling in forms, car insurance, booking holidays etc you would use Jane. Then if you meet friends say at the gym or a book club, etc you introduce yourself as Anna.
I have 3 family members who go by their middle names and apart from the odd suprise when a friend they have known for years realises it’s their middle name it’s not caused any issues.

Things like opening a bank account using your middle name though seems strange. It would be like if you are Katherine known as Kate to start using Kate on official documents and booking holidays, it’s bound to cause confusion but only because the person didn’t apply common sense

If it’s bothering you this much though then I would change your name officially and change everything over to Anna (the same when people get married and change their name). Again, a bit annoying and time consuming but people do this all the time, I really don’t think it’s as stressful as you’re making out.

Nearly all of them 'problems' could have been solved by a little common sense. You know what your legal name is so use it for legal documents and note it on your CV.

Agree with this, sorry.

It does which is why they did let me fly. Caused a few heart stopping moments though

It is more problematic than Elizabeth and Beth because it is a different name. No one would be surprised at a liz or a Kat from
Elizabeth or Katherine. But someone called jane actually being Anna is different.

Omg OP I feel your pain !!!

My parents decided to call me one name. For some weird reason they decided to give me a different First Name, and then a Middle name that isn't even what I'm referred to either !?!?

My name is a nickname for my middle name, but it's not a common nickname , so people get very confused when I say my full name. They always ask me "if that's your full name, where does xxxx come from? " , as they haven't heard the nickname connection before.

I'm reading all these comments like "if this is the biggest problem in your life , you have an easy life" and "you're making this into a big deal , when it isn't". Trust me, it IS a huge problem.

I NEVER know what name I'm registered under, anywhere.

My degrees don't match my cv name.

Different ID's have different names , so nothing matches.

Not understanding someone is calling out to me, when they call out one or either of my "other" names.

Having a different name at school / college register.

Oh just EVERYTHING ! It honestly affects me very regularly !

Even on my wedding day, I had to sign some form declaring that NameA + B and name C is the same person :/

Imagine not being referred to as YOU, on your own WEDDING DAY ! It feels so alien.

I think I could have coped better if it was just my middle name, as I think people understand this is more common. But being a nickname of my middle name has really affected me throughout my life

I will not be putting my own kids through this.

I’ve been through this mshopey and it is ‘these problems’ not ‘them.’

Oh and of course, all the issues with the bank, like other posters have said.

I get you winter

Because many people struggle to say ‘anna’ I do feel like it’s impacted on my sense of identity to a certain extent. I can’t just introduce myself.

Yeh the problem was using the middle name in school. Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh.

You mean - using my name in school?

It is more problematic than Elizabeth and Beth because it is a different name. No one would be surprised at a liz or a Kat from
Elizabeth or Katherine. But someone called jane actually being Anna is different

But it isn’t any more problematic in the sense that Beth has to remember to write ‘Elizabeth’ on official documentation, and to book flight tickets in her given name.

You know you have 2 forenames. So do I. So do lots of people. I bung both forenames on all official documents and book flight tickets in the name with both forenames.

I would go for the “A. Jane Smith” approach, which is what the “E. Claire”
at my school did. Nobody knew what the E stood for, so they couldn’t call her it!

It really isn’t that difficult. My ds is known by a nickname which is entirely different to both of his actual names. He’s known by his nickname at school and always has been and yet still manages to negotiate doctors, banks etc which use his ‘real name’ and he’s only 14. He just knows that when it’s for something official he gives one name and for everything else he uses his nickname.

unlessou have legally changedit all documents will have your registred first name not the one u like to use

quite simple

Well yes, I am sure there are people who use a middle name and it has never once posed a problem. For me, this has not been the case, at all.

I actually believed my parents hated me once and that was why they gave me such a ridiculous name

Maybe before getting defensive about my grammar you should actually look and see I'd quoted a PP.

I suspect the kids are going to have a really fun time when I die!

But they don’t gabs. Mortgage and bank statements don’t. Phone bill, council tax bills, all say Anna. Jane is on birth cert and passport and driving licence.

I did comment earlier but I forgot to mention that in South Wales at least it was very common to use the middle name.

I am not getting defensive, defensive means anxious to challenge or avoid criticism. I was informing you as by not correcting the line you quoted I assumed you believed it to be correct.

It must be a total pain in the arse and I have no idea why parents do this.

FIL is called Frederick William Smith. For his whole life, since he was tiny, he's been known as Billy, then Bill as he got older. Reason being that there were lots of other Fredericks in the family, and it was felt that another one would be confusing. (Why the hell they didn't just call him William Frederick or another name altogether is beyond me).

He doesn't answer to Fred, Freddie or Frederick. Has never answered to those names and has never used it as his name. But that's his official name and what it says on his passport. When he was admitted to hospital, confused and frightened, the staff were calling him "Fred" and he had no idea who they were talking too.

It's just a stupid, unthinking thing to do.