Married name is same as DSD's mum and she objects

[Breakfastclubcrazy]

I’ve name changed as I’ve written a few posts and combined they could be a little bit outing.

Had a conversation with soon to be step daughter last night, she’s 13, almost 14. I’m due to marry her dad in December. She was asking me about names and I said I’d be Mrs .... the same surname as her and her dad.

She told me I couldn’t be, as her mum is Mrs ..... now I’m not in the least bit insecure and understand why her mum is still Mrs ...... but surely I’m not BU to also call myself Mrs ....?

What do you think? Before I’m hammered I don’t care what her mum is calling herself one bit, I care what I’ll be called and I want to take my new husband’s name.

I presume men in gay marriages don’t find it any harder than women to change their name by producing their marriage certificates??

(All the men i know in same sex marriages have either each kept their respective names, or both double barrelled.)

What makes it harder for men, IMO, is ‘the norm’, peer pressure, sexist assumptions about the status of changing your name (see how in all male couples one doesn’t generally unilaterally take the name of the other: that tells you something). and their own patriarchal habits /attitudes.