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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH and reading for pleasure

369 replies

jalexander · 05/10/2018 22:57

AIBU to not understand DH's opinion and TOTALLY disagree with it?

He hates reading. He can't take it in. Doesn't enjoy it. Never reads for pleasure.

Fair enough.

We were just discussing reading for pleasure as I love it and think it's actually really important.

It came to light that DP never encouraged his children to read. He would read their compulsory school set books with them and that was it. Neither him or his ExW encouraged reading for pleasure and none of his children ever read. I find this really sad.

DH doesn't understand why I think it's sad. He said he'd never force them to read for pleasure. He hates it and doesn't see the point.

He says he's a realist and far more grounded than me, stuck in my little fantasy worlds with a romanticised idea of the world. Ugh. He's being totally flippant and dismissive.

What do you think?

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 07/10/2018 22:49
Wink
Lalala2018 · 07/10/2018 23:23

Live and let live but in similar position with my OH who doesn't get why reading a good book can be pleasurable. His loss

PomPomBears2 · 07/10/2018 23:41

Totally with you aeroflotgirl Smile

ReanimatedSGB · 07/10/2018 23:45

It';s fine to look down on stupid people. Not necessary to be rude to their faces, unless they started it, but no, not everyone deserves 'respect': some people are basically a waste of oxygen.

Italiangreyhound · 07/10/2018 23:51

So, ReanimatedSGB looks like all that reading doesn't impart much empathy!

Lalala2018 Not reading for pleasure is not a loss. If it were pleasurable for us, i am sure we would do it.

PomPomBears2 · 07/10/2018 23:54

Tatiana - my goodness! Lost for words!!! I really struggle with snobbery, so your posts are quite hard to read without feeling quite frustrated and irritated!

I don't like reading and don't read for pleasure! .... But, this does not make me any kind of inferior human being!!!! It's just reading for goodness sake!!!!

I also don't like vinegar, carrots, skiing (although I've never tried! So
maybe I would if I gave it a go!!), wearing yellow (it doesn't suit me) and unicorns! .... Who cares???? I am still equal to you! Just as clever! (And what does it matter if I'm not!!), just as clued up on current affairs (but again, would it really matter if I wasn't??) and just as valuable a human with just as many rights to express my opinions as you.

Grrrrrrrrr

basquiat · 08/10/2018 00:02

I don't think you can argue that "the internet" is a superficial source of information that isn't as deep as books. The internet contains basically all of human knowledge.

PomPomBears2 · 08/10/2018 00:05

Reanimated - Biscuit People like you terrify me.

ButchyRestingFace · 08/10/2018 00:07

Reanimated - biscuit People like you terrify me.

Whereas I have a bit of a soft spot for her. It takes all kinds...

PomPomBears2 · 08/10/2018 00:08

!!!! Smile

ButchyRestingFace · 08/10/2018 00:14

I can’t help it. The heart wants what the heart wants... ❤️

BakedBeans47 · 08/10/2018 00:16

and inverted snobs and prudes and utterly boring people who see you with a book and have to come up and tell you that books are a waste of time and reading stories is childish, and that they are far too Busy and Important to read... or that what you are reading is rubbish and you should be doing something else

Does this actually happen to anyone? I read all the time and no one has ever approached me in such a manner. I find it hard to believe that people care whether other people read or not?

Italiangreyhound · 08/10/2018 00:28

I actually think ReanimatedSGB is teasing us, maybe it is a plot line out of a Mallory Towers novel! Is that a thing?

If anyone told me reading a book was XYZ whatever I'd think they were a bit thick. If anyone told me not reading for pleasure was XYZ, I'd think they were a bit thick!

Basically, XYZ here means anything mean!

People can enjoy books or not, it doesn't make them better or worse people.

Rebecca36 · 08/10/2018 00:37

Does it matter? I wouldn't have thought it was worth arguing about. People are all different, some are readers and some not. I like reading very much especially fiction, husband likes factual books.

At least your partner read his children's set books with them, many parents don't do that.

CosyLulu · 08/10/2018 05:31

I wouldn’t have anything to do with someone who called me (or anyone else) a “fucking retard.”

My dh loves killer sudokus and I love a good novel. Dd shoots people online. I wouldn’t see any of our chosen passtimes as necessarily an indication of superiority - I couldn’t do gaming as I’m too slow and sudokus are too hard! They can both read but prefer not to.

Ex is a philosophy lecturer, obsessed with books. He could tell you all about Aristotle but he can’t fry an egg.

BitchQueen90 · 08/10/2018 06:50

Agree with @aeroflotgirl

I love books and always have. I adore reading. I definitely didn't get it from my parents either as my dad doesn't read at all and my DM only reads on holiday.

I would never judge anyone who doesn't enjoy reading. There are way more important things to me.

Miladymilord · 08/10/2018 07:12

and inverted snobs and prudes and utterly boring people who see you with a book and have to come up and tell you that books are a waste of time and reading stories is childish, and that they are far too Busy and Important to read... or that what you are reading is rubbish and you should be doing something else

I can almost categorically state that this never ever happens in RL

Lethaldrizzle · 08/10/2018 07:46

Comparing books to carrots is a bit of a stretch

Aeroflotgirl · 08/10/2018 07:50

Thanks BitchQueen and PomPom, I disagree with Tatiana, there are fantastic and detailed sources of Information on the net just as you would get in a book. Yiu also have the option of quickly browsing different information sources to compare, instead of tredging through books. Horses for courses and all that.

For somebody who is supposidly quite clever because she is a reader, Reanimated, sounds quite dumb.

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2018 07:51

Surely it’s impossible to force anyone to read for pleasure, as a forced activity isn’t for pleasure whatever the activity.

Reading for me is a wonderful way of escapism and I enjoy being lost in my imagination and enjoy the story.

Getting a good story and breaking for lunch and rushing to get back to the story is wonderful. To miss out on this pleasure is sad but it’s everyones choice

Lethaldrizzle · 08/10/2018 08:00

Very few kids seem to read on holiday, they're all glued to i-pads.

celticprincess · 08/10/2018 08:01

Tatiana yes I’ve tried audio books - well a biog type one I wanted to read and decided the commute was the only way so downloaded to listen while I drive. I’ve also downloaded audio versions of s few books my daughter has been reading to help her along - her dislike of reading I think has to do with stamina of longer books she’s ‘supposed to read’ for her age group.

CharltonLido73 · 08/10/2018 08:47

Reading for pleasure as an adult is a personal choice. Not encouraging your children to read for pleasure is to do them a disservice. All parents should at least recognise the need to give children all the tools they need for their linguistic and cognitive development; developing speech and language through talking to your children and encouraging reading helps to give them a great start in life.

Blackoutblinds · 08/10/2018 08:50

I failed at parenting then Hmm

maysiemay · 08/10/2018 09:16

I remember an ex starting to read newspapers so he could keep up with conversations with me. Nothing highbrow i just seemed to know more about what was going on in the world than him.This was just before internet really kicked off in the home. He's a lovely chap and I was quite touched he did that. Cannot say i had noticed him not knowing what i was talking about though :O

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