DH and reading for pleasure

[jalexander]

AIBU to not understand DH's opinion and TOTALLY disagree with it?

He hates reading. He can't take it in. Doesn't enjoy it. Never reads for pleasure.

Fair enough.

We were just discussing reading for pleasure as I love it and think it's actually really important.

It came to light that DP never encouraged his children to read. He would read their compulsory school set books with them and that was it. Neither him or his ExW encouraged reading for pleasure and none of his children ever read. I find this really sad.

DH doesn't understand why I think it's sad. He said he'd never force them to read for pleasure. He hates it and doesn't see the point.

He says he's a realist and far more grounded than me, stuck in my little fantasy worlds with a romanticised idea of the world. Ugh. He's being totally flippant and dismissive.

What do you think?

It's fine to reject a potential partner for any reason, no matter how trivial. There's nothing sad about it. Couple-relationships are not essential anyway, and I'd certainly rather have a pile of good books than a partner, TBH.

Tatiana wrong! Internet, documentaries, newspapers

My DH doesn’t read. He finds it monumentally difficult to take something in unless it is a) information pertinent to how to complete/fix something or b) something he has a really serious interest in. Even in either of those cases he takes a long time and struggles to really take it in. I can read anything and will read it cover to cover and properly take it in. We were both read to/with as children but I believe he is likely slightly dyslexic and this is the only way it really shows in his day to day life. He genuinely finds it difficult to recognise words in the same way I do. I don’t berate him for it and I don’t think it’s sad, I try and understand that actually he does genuinely find it difficult which consequently leads to a dislike of it and therefore not doing it at all. It’s not a dealbreaker- I didn’t marry him for his ability (or lack thereof) to read!

I didn't enjoy reading when I was a child. My DSis loved it and used to read to me. My DM bought me books and left me to read them if I chose to. I read books everyday now.

wrong! Internet, documentaries, newspapers

All of which are comparatively superficial. I read/watch those as well.

I don’t read for pleasure. I don’t enjoy reading. I forget what I’ve read and have to start again. I’m also a teacher and studying for a Master’s. I struggle with the reading side of things so look for other ways to help retain information. It’s not that I can’t read. Think it’s a memory thing. I will read biographies that I can dip in and out of. I’m the same with TV. Struggle to remember if I’ve seen a film. Struggle to follow a long series over many weeks. I binge watch as this seems to work. I’m ok with soap operas as they’re short and don’t require much concentration and are on almost daily.

I have children. I read their compulsory reading books with them. I try and encourage them to read for pleasure. My oldest doesn’t enjoy reading. Either we haven’t found a genre she likes or she’s a bit like me. Although I did read a lot as a child - Nancy drew, sweet valley. I even did A level English lit. No idea what possessed me. For my eldest it has been a bit of a battle ground and a battle I’m no longer willing to drag out too much. As long as she does her homework. She enjoys factual TV programmes and seems to have an extensive knowledge of some things so she obviously has a different learning style to those that read a lot.

My youngest enjoys reading and when in the mood she will pick up books and read in addition to her school books. We do struggle for time though.

We all learn in different ways. Each to their own. Encourage - yes. Force - no. When someone is lying on a sunbed reading I can often be found doing a cross stitch or puzzles.

Have you tried audiobooks celtic?

Not at allTatiana, they are simply another medium of acquiring information.nit superficial at all. I have learned so much watching documentaries,which brings facts to life.

Reading books is not the be all and end all, many people don't like it for whatever reason, they find it hard or don't enjoy. There are many other mediums of acquiring information. It is great that we live in a time with different mediums.

Documentaries can only cover a limited amount of information, and they can’t go into any real depth.

Good for pictures not so good for detailed information and analysis.

We are very much in an age where people mistake soundbites for news, one of the upshots of which is Trump and Brexit.

That's your opinion Tatiana, I am quite happy using different sources to acquire information.i don't particularly enjoy reading books, I find it tiring, due to having 2 kidswith sn, I don't finish them. Much rather read shorter articles, or watch a good documentary series.

It’s not just my opinion, it’s a widely held observation...

Yes but it's each to their own, it is not the only source of acquiring information. Looking down on people who for whatever reason do not read, is not nice.we are lucky to live in an age where information is available from a variety of sources. If people do not like reading books, they can pick up a newspaper,or read an article on the internet, or watch documentaries,it does not matter, books do not suit everyone.

when we downsized we gaged our new home by how many book cases we could fit! Thankfully both dp & I are both avid readers & often swap (pinch!) books off each other. I like factual books as well as fiction - so not lost in imaginary worlds all the time (& films, tv programs & computer -etc- games are based on imaginary worlds???).

Who’s taking about looking down on anyone?

I’m simply pointing out the limitations of the sources you mentioned.

Wrt Brexit and Trump - some things are true and some things are false.

I can't understand not reading for pleasure either, but I'm a big reader. I read fiction and non-fiction, although tend to read more fiction. I always find it odd if I go to someone's house and there are no books at all.

It is better to read something, than nothing at all, if people prefer to read shorter material, so be it. Yes I do have books, and I like buying them, more factual books, than fiction, which I dip in and out of, I don't really read anything cover to cover nowadays.

Wrt the tabloids I’d say it’s probably better to read nothing.

I haven't read any books about Brexit or trump but strangely consider myself well informed about both

No doubt Daily Mail readers consider themselves well-informed about Brexit.

I think to put them in context politically and historically you need to know some history.

I’d argue that if more people had studied 20c history or economics, Brexit propaganda would have been less successful.

I come from a family of readers. Parents (and latterly step father) and siblings all read. We've shared books , we just enjoy reading. I read every day for pleasure.
I have one child (now adult). They loved being read to as child, but have never enjoyed reading for themselves. You can't make a child read for pleasure but I find it sad not to encourage a child to try.

God tatiana you sound like a proper patronising arse.

My feelings exactly Milord.

This reminds of school where it wasn't cool to like books

Fine to like books and reading, but no need to be smug and patronising, appreciate that not everyone likes reading.