To think this “hilarious” card is actually depressing?

[Decanter]

lovelayladesigns.co.uk/Cards/Anniversary_Cards/up-the-bum.html

I have 2 DDs and hate how this kind of crap is being normalised. Fucking hilarious Layla

Don't like it, don't click on their website

But then, how would you know that you didn't like it. . . .?

This thread is hilarious. The amount of women out there who basically seem to think: "I don't like this sex act. Therefore no one should and any woman engaging in it is being pressured by the man/influenced by porn"

I also agree with this. No one is making you do anal. No one is making you buy the card. No one is making you buy anything from this company.

On my. I've just looked at their other birthday cards. This company must be run by 12 year olds with issues. The cards are tacky, idiotic and not in the least bit humorous unless you laugh at things like "big boobs", "small tits" and "you are a wanker".
Awful company.

I agree with everything dowager says.

This isn't about the sex lives of consenting adults, whether gay or straight.

The concern is over the fact that anal sex has already been normalised amongst teenagers, school kids, and this card really doesn't help.

"no harm done" - Well I'd rather my teen daughter got pregnant than ended up with permanent damage from badly executed anal sex.

It was a fairly common phrase years ago when I was at University - meant no chance of getting pregnant. As did the rather charming 'Up the Gary No Babies' which was used instead of 'Cheers'

Firstly, I would ready this as bum play eg finger up the bum for him and her, rimming and anal. All of which are perfectly acceptable (and can be enjoyable) when done safely with consenting adults.

If you think back, there was a time when "most people" considered any sexual position other than missionary to be wrong. There was a time when "most people" considered oral sex to be disgusting.

What happens between my DH and I between the sheets is actually none of your business. Sex is for pleasure and procreation so why deny or condemn a consenting couple something that they enjoy because it's not to your taste?

I'm surprised so many people have a problem with anal considering many of them have a stick up their arse

It's in their Anniversary section, it's hardly aimed at rapists!

Yeah, because all rapists stalk dark alleys or wear a neon sign don't they? Whatever my thoughts on anal sex, or whether this card constitutes a message for rape apologists, attitudes like the above post are the reason men think that just because their partner wears a wedding ring they can do what they want to them and it's not rape. I thought we'd come further than that in our education.

Anal sex was definitely a 'thing' when I was a teenager 20 years ago before internet porn was accessible.

The card is NOTHING to do with rape.

HRTFT, but which is apparently how a lot of women from very strict religious backgrounds are "virgins" on their wedding night. sounds like the kind of thing giggly young boys tell each other. Friends and I have done plenty of talking about sex over the years, I've known only one who would consent to anal, and she bloody hated it but did it because her DH liked it. But the idea that it would be a regular thing for women from strict religious backgrounds sounds almost racist to me, a sly way of saying "Oh they think they're so pure but look what they're really doing". And directed against women, because anal is somehow construed as a win for the male, and being 'game for anything' for the female.

I'm surprised so many people have a problem with anal considering many of them have a stick up their arse

You see, that's quite funny, whereas the card isn't.

Greetings cards referencing anal sex are quite a niche market, I'd say.
Pun intended.

MoonageDaydreams

The concern is over the fact that anal sex has already been normalised amongst teenagers, school kids, and this card really doesn't help.

I so agree with you. There's going to be so many women with wrecked sphincters in the coming years. The vagina is designed for the kind of action that happens during sex, the anus isn't.

juells and yet gay men seem to be pretty ok?? Not all wobbling around with colostomy bags?

Whether you do or you don’t, it just looks tacky on a greetings card.

juells and yet gay men seem to be pretty ok??

Not colostomy bags, but not necessarily OK.
Plus, surely, bum sex is not the only way for gay men.

it just looks tacky on a greetings card.

All greeting cards are tacky. Whether it’s a mile long, mass produced mushy poem about how your mum/dad/partner/dog are the best in the world, or some crude toilet/sexual humour. It’s down to the individual to know what the recipient would appreciate more in sentiment.

Not colostomy bags, but not necessarily OK

Why isn’t it ok? What exactly do you think is ‘not ok’ about it other than you don’t like it understand it?

Do people really buy stuff like that?

I have never received and never sent cards with swearing or those sorts of sexual comments on them. Just why would you? It's not particularly funny, it's potentially embarrassing and offensive to the recipient, and not a card you'd display on the mantlepiece for granny to see.

Doesn’t offend me and I have no desire for anal. If you’re a anal
Lover I can see you might buy it.
The one that offends me is the father:Mother’s Day card which references how bad it would be if your child was ugly. I can’t remember the exact wording now but it pops up on FB around those times.

Juells is that actually true though or is it just a thing people say to shame those who do have anal sex? Is it a hangover from more homophobic times that has hung around and become ‘true’ in the public consciousness?

P.S. Many MSM don’t actually have anal sex.

I used to work for a teen girls mag and worked with organisations like Brooks etc for any features around sex (this was aimed at under 16s so about advice and support, avoiding pressure etc). This was about 10 years ago and they said they were alarmed by the number of girls having anal sex to preserve their virginities/avoid pregnancy, even though they got nothing or just pain out of it (I get than anal sex with an experienced adult partner done right can be pleasurable - these were inexperienced teen boys essentially causing pain to their partners). I found it so utterly depressing. It wasn’t specific to religions but teen girls generally. That was about 10 years ago.

I also agree that porn has normalised anal. More guys ask for/expect it even the first time you have sex, or very early on (based on my experiences and friends).

I personally don’t mind occasional anal but with lube and a nice gentle approach and a bit of trust built up.

A fair few of my friends at an independent girls school were having anal sex with their boyfriends 25 years ago. It wasn't considered 'not normal' back then either.

Why isn’t it ok? What exactly do you think is ‘not ok’ about it other than you don’t like it understand it?

LOL

I meant their anuses aren't necessarily ok, even if they don't need colostomy bags. I thought that was clear.
Touchy much?

From a public health perspective, the normalisation of anal sex is not a good thing as it does increase transmission rates of STIs and the incidence of certain types of cancer. And the more STIs in the community, the more at risk everyone is, including those unwilling to take the increased health risk that anal sex carries. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom does impact on others, unless you are 100% certain that you and your partner are 100% monogamous and have never, ever had any other sexual partners and never, ever will have any other sexual partners.