to ask about friendship dealbreakers?

[Tobythecat]

What are your deslbreakers when it comes to friends?

Mine are -

Voting Tory
Disliking animals or being cruel to them
Being judgemental towards mental illness
Being a food snob

Singingtherapy - I feel pretty much the same way.

Bigots in general, really.

A neighbour at my old house tried to befriend me and I was happy to go along with that until she made comments about feeling sorry for the people in this country (she was from elsewhere) because we're apparently being taken over by people from the middle east. She used a racial slur, too.

I never round there after that...

Trying it on with my husband was a deal breaker for me.

As per Schrodinger and PeasPlease and Glittertwins

Basically anyone who is so convinced of their own rightness that they are intolerant of others - pretty much regardless of the form that belief in their own rightness takes. Not because of the belief itself, but because they'll be a tedious gobshite.

Emotional abuse or feeling unsafe around someone.

Being boring. Talking too little, or too much.

Just have a fucking conversation with me, yo.

Racism, bragging, virtue signalling.

Anyone that won't be friends with someone else based on them having differing mainstream political beliefs.
This ^^.

Racism. I've completely cut a family member off for this so friends stand no chance.
Animal cruelty.
Dishonesty. One former friend who was busy defrauding several insurers for invented claims and claiming benefits when she shouldn't have been. Another who was having an affair behind her partner's back. Up to you if you decide to lie, but I don't want to be friends with you.

Beyond that, as long as they are willing to agree to disagree (e.g. on political views) then it makes no difference to me.

Being boring. Talking too little, or too much.
Anyone who takes this ^^ view too. Everyone is boring to someone. Equally everyone is interesting to someone. Sometimes you need to talk less & listen more, and sometimes you have a need to talk more and have someone else listen.
I'd rather be friends with someone who takes the time to get to know me and doesn't make a decision based on one aspect of me. Someone who will accept that if I'm struggling I won't say much but if you get me on a topic that interests me I can really get going.

Anyone who won’t show me the same courtesy I show them - e.g. if they have to cancel something and I’m relaxed about it, but they go into a strop if I do the same.

Friends who think having done you favours in the past is some kind of credit against shitty behaviour in the present.

Voting Labour
Being more than a few minutes late
Borrowing money and not paying it back
Racism
Dishonesty
Sexism

You won't be friends with people because they exercise their democratic right to vote for a different political party to you?

I think that type of attitude would be a friendship deal breaker for me.

Drama
Attention Seeking
Not understanding or being judgemental of Mental Health
Racists
Trump supporters
People who try to shove their political/ religious beliefs in your face
Lazy people at work
Parents who judge other parents

My friendship deal breakers are

People who dislike people based on their Political views..

Racism

Anyone who, when I leave them, makes me feel in some way “less than.” That’s hard to explain, but I firmly believe friends should be people you choose to have in your life because they allow you to be or inspire you to be, your best self. If I find myself feeling crap after seeing them, they’re gone.

People who think smacking their kids is something to brag about
Trying to convert me/force their religious beliefs down my throat
Prejudice against age gap relationships (I'm in one)
Snobbishness in general
Making rude comments about how other people look or what they're wearing

Oh, homophobia. I've been a victim to it a few times in life.

Asking to split a bill according to what they ate and drank
Being snobby about second hand clothes

Homophobia
Racism
Sexist

Sniffing, and very loud shouty voices get on my tits a bit

• Anyone who could vote for Corbyn.
• Eating shit food all the time.
• Can't/wont use cutlery correctly.
• Doesn't like animals.
• Poor personal hygiene.
• Drug using/Heavy drinking

Trying to convert me/force their religious beliefs down my throat
But equally mocking my beliefs (the old MN favourite of 'sky fairy'). I don't force my beliefs down anyone's throat and I don't expect anyone to force their non-beliefs down mine.
I think it all comes down to accepting that others have different views - if you can accept it you can have some great conversations. If you don't then you'll just get arguments.

@tenbob yours reads a bit like an oxymoron...

Those of us that prefer to pay only for what we've consumed (because we're skint!) are also the ones that need to rely on 2nd hand clothes

Each to their own RangeRider

I think being enjoyable company is a fairly big aspect of a person when it comes to picking friends.

But hey, carry on paying good money to sit in Costa in awkward silence if that’s the way you like to conduct your friendships. You do you, Hun.