to ask about friendship dealbreakers?

[Tobythecat]

What are your deslbreakers when it comes to friends?

Mine are -

Voting Tory
Disliking animals or being cruel to them
Being judgemental towards mental illness
Being a food snob

This is..... shit I just googled. What did I just read? I read the first link that came up britmannia or similar. not envy. Not really worth the 1million $!

Rather childish and a bit Orwellian that you would end a friendship because of how your friends vote. Also how do you know what your friends vote? Voting is private.

Selfish friends who want you to be there every time something happens, like when their no good drunken drugged up brother gets beat up by a drunken drugged up friend of his and the friend texts/tells you about it like it is the end of the world and expects you to provide her with a comforting shoulder but when you have your own worries and health issues (mh, two autistic kids and at the time newly separated due to domestic violence) she couldn't be bothered to be there at all.
Constantly cancelling plans to meet at the last minute. Not replying to texts for days only to reply with hi how are you when you have already told them how things have been. lying and exaggerating. Never repaying favours. And people who say they can't see the autism like it is written on the dc or that they are qualified paediatricians!

I have stopped being a friend with people for political differences and I’m not ashamed of it. If a friend can vote to support open racism, white supremacy and the undignified treatment of women, we have no reason to be friends, we disagree on things that are fundamental to us.

I could never see in the same light a woman who voted for Brexit, not for Brexit herself but because she voted to stop “Europeans coming to steal from the UK by claiming benefits etc”, she disagreed with refugees coming here as they were “all liars”. I disagree with those statements and knowing she voted as a commonwealth citizen, who has no permanent right of residence here, I just find it mightily hypocritical. She is the same she voted against, she and her children are taking advantage of the benefits this country offers as well, she is as black as the people she is racist against, she is also overstaying her welcome in the country, but she seems to think it is all bloody Europeans who are ruining the country... I have lost all respect for her because she cannot see herself in a mirror.

Anyone thick, to be quite honest. Or massively uninformed.

Self aggrandizing twat alert

I come from a very well educated and academic background. The way we communicate in my family - all arcane literary references etc - just doesn't translate to many people. I don't talk like that normally, but on occasions do have to modify my speech to ensure others understand it. Fine. But I find it utterly exhausting to speak to stupid and uneducated people. No doubt I'll be called a snob, but I like my friends to have some parity of intelligence (and thank the Lord they don't talk like my family, because that would be unbearably tedious!).

Oh and I will never get along with people who vomit cliches, no matter what their general level of intelligence or education. I like people to have original thoughts, and people who are confident enough to express them. People who nothing but nice things to say are hard work.

Rather childish and a bit Orwellian that you would end a friendship because of how your friends vote. Also how do you know what your friends vote? Voting is private.

Um, not if they tell each other.

Or, in my case, the person who voted for Brexit had a published article on why. That's how I know about the bendy-banana shite etc.

I don't think it's either childish or Orwellian. The way people vote is often a big part of the way they think and their overall mindset. This same person is a libertarian, which their vision of Brexit fits in with. They once told me the UK should 'grow up' because we get into such a spin whenever there's a gun incident, as opposed to, say, New York where apparently no one's really bothered any more. They've had the occasional rant about 'useless' 'basket-weaving' arts and humanities degrees paid for by the state (oddly enough, I have one of those degrees and I provide freelance services for this person's work. I wouldn't have been able to start or establish my career without my 'basket-weaving' degree ).
They think everyone should just pay for healthcare and get insurance and stop moaning. They believe decline is a choice. I could go on.

Vegans and Labour voters. Can’t tolerate either.

I like having friends with different views to my own about lots of things although there are certain views I wouldn't tolerate in a friend like racism, homophobia, cruelty to animals or children. I have good friends who enjoy the higher arts (i'm more little mix), who don't eat meat, vote labour and tory, have glittering careers, have no career, believe in God, don't believe, a whole wide range. I may have to draw the line at flat earthers but I haven't met one yet.

Most of the friendships I've ended have been because the relationship became too one sided. I'm also very intolerant of people who lie. I think I'm a very good friend and I expect the same in return.

Anyone who, when I leave them, makes me feel in some way “less than.” That’s hard to explain, but I firmly believe friends should be people you choose to have in your life because they allow you to be or inspire you to be, your best self. If I find myself feeling crap after seeing them, they’re gone.

Totally. I'm trying to get better at not keeping friends in my life who have a tendency to leave me feeling crap about myself, or at least limiting my contact with them. I find it hard, though, as I've had zero confidence most of my life and spent years thinking I should consider myself lucky if I had any friends at all. :( I've learned to value myself much more highly over the years, but old conditioning dies hard.

“Friends” that talk at you rather than with you, I have a friend that when I answer the phone to her she launches in to a ME ME ME conversation without stopping for breath and then never asks how I am. Infuriating to the point I am phasing out contact.
Also anti animal people.

I wouldn’t ditch a friend for voting Tory as I don’t wish to live in an echo chamber. I have various friends with varying opinions and I enjoy that.

I couldn’t be friends with a racist, homophobic bigot.

Pet peeves are a fickle nature, major lack of organisation and constant lateness. I don’t mind 5/10 minutes but some people take the royal piss with it and I hate being left waiting around. Also hate plans being dropped last minute constantly, I have ditched friends over this.

Oh and ‘busy’ people annoy me. I’m just so busy, as if the rest of us aren’t.

Oh yes, particularly SAHMs that are “so busy” (normally I can complete their whole list of things to do they have for a day in 45 minutes even when I’m working full time...)

Not read all the posts but generally am intolerant of intolerant people.

I have no beef with those who use drugs, drink, perhaps had an affair...the human condition is not infallible.

Struggle with "spoilt" mums. Those who don't have to work, but complain all the time...flaky because they think they're busy. Once your kids are at school as a non working parent with no other caring responsibilities you're not "busy".

Separated friends who expect their ex to bank roll them and refuse to get a job as they're "busy". See above.

Single mates who vanish into vapour when a man comes along then reappear when said man vanishes. I've just cut contact with someone for this very reason. I get it when you're a teenager but doing it in your 40s is not cool. If you want your safety net you need to put effort into maintaining it!

Any type of abuser.
Drug users.

Someone you consider an extremely close friend whom you housed during her break-up apologises for not having been in touch... Because she was organising and having her incredibly amazing 40th mega-glitsy-party.