To think I can attend a work do 3 weeks after baby is born?

[CarlottiJames]

We have a work do organised for 5 ish weeks after my due date. If baby comes late, that 5 turns in to 3. I've paid £60 for this event as has everyone else. It was booked well in advance before I even knew I was pregnant.

I desperately want to go, even if it's just for food for a couple of hours. I haven't had a baby before and don't know whether this is a naive thought? I could get my dad or mum to take baby out (it's a daytime thing) and she would be round the corner, but will be breastfeeding so not sure how I would work this out...

Any ideas? I'm fretting. It sounds silly because it's only a work do but it cost a lot of money and it's also important for me to keep in touch with the team etc.

AIBU to think this is doable? Am I worrying over nothing?

As long as you have a straightforward birth there should be no reason not to go. It will probably do you good to have a bit of 'me time'.

It completely depends on the birth, on how well you've recovered, on how exhausted you might/might not feel.

It's not really worth worrying about now because no-one will be able to answer this for you.

I could have done it easily after all 3 of my births but I know lots of people who couldn't.

Depends on many variables really. It’s naive to think your birth will automatically be a straight forward wonderfully natural experience, they don’t always pan out that way and there’s many reasons why you could potentially still feel very ill/in pain three weeks after giving birth. I didn’t feel human for about six weeks after my first two DC and I bled heavily for eight weeks after my first. You could wind up having an emergency caesarean for example.

I also wouldn’t bank on you even wanting to go once you’re in the exhausting throes of having a newborn. Honestly, I’d wait and see how you feel closer to the time because it’s impossible to predict.

You might be fine but personally I wouldn't have been the least bit interested in going 3 weeks after my dd was born!

Of course if I had a c section or complicated birth then I likely couldn't do. But that's a whole different situation. All things being well, however I would like to attend. Silly but I worry about leaving my baby whilst they're so little and ebf!

I could have and that was after an EMCS but you might find it isn’t as important to you when the time comes as it is now.

I went to a work Christmas lunch when ds was 3 weeks old and was breastfeeding. As people have said, see how you go, but I think the chances are high of it being fine.

Do you have to decide now? It all depends on when the baby arrives, how easy the birth is and how well breastfeeding is established.

You might be totally fine but change your mind. You might not be fine. So many variables!

I think if it’s not something that is going to require overnight stay, I would just make a decision closer to the time. If it’s a meal out, can you go for the meal and then come home if you want/need to? Two or three hours away from your baby, sitting down, is unlikely to do you any damage. You might find though that you can’t bear to have baby away from you - so ask DH to drive you there and sit in the car outside with the baby

In my experience, if your baby is that young and your breastfeeding - you can't go

so much depends on the birth, and on your baby.

dc1 was a clockwork feeder, so as long as I fed him on the dot every 3 hours, he would have been fine round the corner. Very laid back baby
On the other hand, I could not sit down for the length of a meal, and was still bleeding quite heavily at 3 weeks, and would NOT have wanted to be at a works do.

dc2, easy birth, could have done it easily, but baby fed 24/7 and took 40 minutes for each feed, so would have been difficult.

dc3 I was going round London, Natural history museum, seeing the lights with 2 toddlers and cc3 in a sling at 3 weeks. (not that I would actually recommend that!)

This is impossible to answer until the baby is here OP. See how things are when it's close to the time of the work thing.

Sorry posted too soon. Babies often cluster feed that young and so won't be able to go for a couple of hours even without a feed.
I have been breastfeeding or pregnant for the last four years and I've missed out on so much but it was worth it.

Bear in mind when you have a newborn you probably won't want to leave it anyway

Went to a friends birthday when my son was 2 weeks old, after emergency section. He came with me and fed or slept through the whole thing. I loved catching up with friends, as I hadn't felt much like socialising in the last couple of months!
I'd told myself that I wouldn't go if I didn't feel up to it, and having no pressure made it feel better.

No one can really call it. It's different for everyone.
Personally I was a wreck after I had my firstborn. It was a by the book, complication free birth but I was crying and sitting on ice pads for 2-3 weeks after. I stank to high heaven struggling to get five damn minutes to shower and even after I was clean I was sweating and my hair was greasy within a couple of hours, my boobs were agony to touch (or even put a bra over) and leaky, I was tired constantly and up to 6 weeks after birth I doubt I would have wanted to go anywhere social at all.

Baby #2 however, again by the book birth, was completely different. I was out and about with her before the amniotic fluid was even dry. (Okay, exaggeration but not far off)

Don't rule anything out. Every woman is different. Some are up and about straight after and others are barely functioning humans for a while afterwards.

You won’t know till the morning of probably, will depend how baby is and what sort of night you had most likely.
No reason why you can’t go if you’re feeling good!

Can't you take the baby? I've always taken mine with me to events etc until they are about 4 months, then it becomes trickier

See how you feel at the time, but definitely do-able if you have a straightforward birth. I was a bridesmaid at bfs wedding 3 weeks after having DS2. He stayed with my parents all day. It was absolutely fine.

I could have with both of my dds. They were both easy. The only slight issue was I was still breastfeeding every 3 hours then, so I've might have had my mum and dd come with me to the same area as the do, then popped out to feed as required.

Physically, I could have done it.

Emotionally? Not a chance
No way did I want to be separated from my baby mammal.

And frankly, as much as work and other things in life are important to me, I sooo didn't give a crap about anything else once baby arrived

Yeah I would have slapped anyone the suggested I leave my 3 week old to go out for a few hours! I was crazy hormonal and protective of her when she was that tiny. Now I’d jump at the chance! You just have to see how you feel.

@Dreamingofkfc really wouldn't want to impose a baby on a likely fairly drunken work do! I won't be drinking or staying long. Nobody suggested in the conversation that I bring them so wouldn't want to suggest it myself...

Worst comes to worst I'll just have to lose the £60 and not go!

I had an ELCS nearly 4 weeks ago. Physically, I would be fine to do this. It’s breastfeeding that would make it tough. DS feeds every 3 hours, and each feed takes 40 mins, so by the time he is back to sleep, I have 2 hours before the next feed. Don’t know about you but by the time I’d travelled to the event, waited to be served, eaten, socialised and travelled home, this would take far more than 2 hours. Someone would have to bring your baby and keep them nearby I think.

Take the baby along, he or she can sleep in a pram and you can show all your colleagues etc.
As said above you wont know until the day as to whether you've had any sleep the night before. But when they are tiny they are very portable.

You may be able to go, you may not you’ll just have to wait and see.

I can guarantee that after your baby is born this won’t feel so desperately important though.

That’s not to say you won’t still want to go, just that if you have to miss it you won’t feel as disappointed as you think you will now.