To think I can attend a work do 3 weeks after baby is born?

[CarlottiJames]

We have a work do organised for 5 ish weeks after my due date. If baby comes late, that 5 turns in to 3. I've paid £60 for this event as has everyone else. It was booked well in advance before I even knew I was pregnant.

I desperately want to go, even if it's just for food for a couple of hours. I haven't had a baby before and don't know whether this is a naive thought? I could get my dad or mum to take baby out (it's a daytime thing) and she would be round the corner, but will be breastfeeding so not sure how I would work this out...

Any ideas? I'm fretting. It sounds silly because it's only a work do but it cost a lot of money and it's also important for me to keep in touch with the team etc.

AIBU to think this is doable? Am I worrying over nothing?

I know NCT in our area do offer discounts/free classes if you can't afford it so as a PP said please do get in touch.

Awwww OP I do hope you can go to it .

As others have said, though, every birth is different and could even end in C Sections . I have had C Sections and would have been fine 5 weeks post Op (they get you walking about ASAP anyway) and gone , but , again, this depends on how YOU feel about it all.

Congratulations on your pregnancy .

Re bottle feeding a ebf baby: I was told by my HV not to bottle feed an ebf baby even with breastmilk for six weeks to allow breastfeeding to become established. Unfortunately that meant he would never take a bottle so I couldn’t leave him for months for more than a couple of hours until he would take a cup. I ignored this advice with my second and he swapped between breast and expressed bottle feeds from birth. If you can express enough then it’s doable, especially if your mum is round the corner. Also if you can manage to get some sleep (if someone would do the night feed occasionally to give you unbroken sleep that makes all the difference and the extra rest helps with milk production too!)

I don't think you'll know for sure until right before the event. You might have a baby that cluster feeds and is attached most of the day/night, you might be formula feeding exclusively. Your baby might take a bottle of expressed milk (if BFing) or might not. Your baby might be happy to be with your mum or might scream the place down non-stop. You might need to be out for your own sanity and your mum is happy to take the baby for a few hours, crying and all, you might not want your baby to be out of your sight.

I was absolutely physically fine from a reasonably straightforward birth (tear and big bleed, no transfusion) within a week or so. DH and I (with another couple) ran a week long residential kids camp for 150 kids at 5 weeks after my second, admittedly I didn't do much that had time expectations.

Honestly, give your meal food choices and intend to go, see how you feel in the week leading up. Maybe have a trial run with your mum?

Good luck.

I learnt everything I needed to know about labour, birth and BFing from online videos (also had a one day NHS parenting class right before I was due). I watched lots of natural, home, unattended birth videos on YouTube (not advocating unattended births but lots of these women were relaxed and calm), I avoided any screaming videos.

For BFing, it's helpful if you can find a video filmed over the woman's shoulder (so you watch what you can see when you're doing it). I found BFing hurt like you wouldn't believe for 24-48hrs (remember you have a baby sucking on a sensitive part of your body!!), get Lansinoh cream for your nipples and start using it the moment you give birth. I BF both of mine successfully but it was 10 weeks of hell for my first and 24hrs of hell for my second. Remember to get all the support you can while in hospital, I badgered the midwives to help me latch and actually refused to be discharged until they had helped me!! Luckily I'm an old moo.

In my experience, if your baby is that young and your breastfeeding - you can't go

^This

*In my experience, if your baby is that young and your breastfeeding - you can't go

Why not? She can express her milk.

Young babies don't die if they spend a few hours away from their mothers. Really.

Or even - dare I say it? - the baby can be given formula for the night. Again, it won't kill him/her.

I had 2 CS, after one I had an infection but both times I was out and about doing things within a fortnight. A week after DD was born MiL took us out for the day shopping and for lunch, mind you she played in a netball game 2 weeks after giving birth! More difficult when leaving them for any length of time was the feeding, neither baby would take a bottle of expressed milk so leaving them was impossible. My daughter used one initially, but I didn’t keep it up and at 6 weeks she refused and screamed for 4 hours when I had a much needed break from her. I would get the baby used to a bottle just in case, then go out and have a lovely time!

I've had three births, four children (twins), my first was natural and the other two c sections. I didn't feel my best after any of them to be honest, but I could have and did attend things as usual. I just got on with things for the most part but took it easy in between and kept on top of pain relief.

Breastfeeding would be more of an issue, mine were all combination fed so that wasn't much of an issue for me, but you would get full if your exclusively breastfeeding depending how long it is for.

For me, I would have been able to go out for a meal, probably not dance though.

DistanceCall I guess it depends on whether baby will take a bottle, mother can express or wants to give formula. Very individual really. I was happy to give formula and could also get a good response from a pump, but it was all in vain as DS refused any container that wasn't a human breast.

There are so many variables, you simply can't tell at this stage.

Birth recovery probably won't be the biggest issue. I've had 2 c sections and would have been fine physically for that both times.

It's more about whether you could be bothered putting on your glad rags, getting made up when still in that baby fug (and leaking milk everywhere).

Feeding may be more problematic. If your baby is an epic cluster feeder, then it may prove too difficult.

A lot will depend on whether baby will take a bottle (many ebf babies don't). If you want to make sure baby takes a bottle, I'd advise you to introduce 1 a day from birth. But this causes its own stresses and may impact supply, so it's not always a great option.

So no definitive answer, sorry. I think you really should do some reading up on bfing before the birth though. Knowing what to expect helps enormously.

All this discussion over expressing or a bottle of formula.

None of mine would take a bottle of anything at 3 weeks, and would have been very distressed

I personally couldn't have been away from either baby for that long for the first few months in the evening as that is when they cluster fed and they could be on and off my boobs for hours. My first refused all bottles so I couldn't be away from him really for the first 6 months, was a nightmare!

Think it will have to be a decision you can only make once the baby is here and you know how they are feeding, how they act in the evenings. Some experience a 'witching hour' (or hours) and spend the evening screaming their heads off so wouldn't be ideal for your mum to deal with in a cafe etc

Why do you want to go so much? It can't just be about the 60 quid??

@Nacknick partly the money (really am having a tough time financially and £60 is a lot of money at the moment), partly because it is a big event which we have all talked about and looked forward to all year, partly because I want to see my colleagues before Christmas as a couple of them are leaving and it is doubled up as a leaving do... lots of reasons I guess!

I wasn't able to leave EBF babies until they were quite a few mnths old.

At three weeks breastfeeding is still being established. They cluster feed and need to do so in order to establish feeding and take in sufficient nutrition for growth in those early weeks.

My experience, based on my four, is that they will howl inconsolably when separated and are only comforted by breastfeeding.

They don't really go any length of time between feeds in the early weeks and can feed for 40 mins at a time. You'd literally be popping in for ten mns before being called back for a mammoth feeding session.

You'd be better off putting baby in a sling and taking baby with you, breastfeeding on demand.

As I said-I took ds with me. It was fine. But I was very lucky with recovery, baby and feeding. And work colleagues!

distance, good luck trying to express milk with a three week old. My experience is that at that stage they feed so constantly that there is no break to express. Also it would take a ridiculous amount of effort at that stage to express enough as you'd only get tiny quantities at a time before a proper supply is established.

Perhaps she doesn't want to give her baby formula! But at this stage doing so would interfere with establishing a milk supply. Giving a bottle would possibly cause nippple confusion and lead to baby rejecting the breast.

Also, it's not just about the actual getting milk into them. The baby's crying for a warm cuddle, milk and the familiar smell of mum. A rubber teat won't cut it! Baby won't die but is unlikely to be impressed.

Like PP impossible to call, but I EBF and took my stepson to the cinema at 3 weeks so was away from home around 5 hours, expressed so DP was fine. BUT at that stage expressing made me overproduce for a while after, as your milk producing hormones are sensitive til around 12 weeks. Something to bear in mind!

It would be grand going but I don’t think I would drink at it. If it’s a big Christmas piss up you might suddenly discover your tolerance for alcohol has gone to shit after having a baby so you may want to take it easy.

It might seem like something you really, really want to do now..but the chances are you won't be as interested in a works do 3 weeks after giving birth!

If by any chance you do feel up for it , then it will be OK with careful planning. Believe it or not, formulae feeding isn't poisoning your baby ( you also don't have to go through 10 weeks of hell trying to BF, but that's another discussion ), so that is an option. I'm sure your partner ( assuming you have one, sorry ) will relish the chance to be in sole charge for a few hours.

Book mark this thread, because I can see you reading it back on the night of the works do and saying ' What the hell was I thinking!'

I wouldn't have had any problem doing with this with any of mine, but all of them were FF by 3 weeks. I do remember going out for a meal (just with my partner) when my first baby was about that age, I did kind of obsess on him but I enjoyed it.
A woman I know gave birth in the morning and went to a christmas party in the evening, she left the baby with her Mum.

The real answer is it depends.

It depends on your labour and recovery.

It depends on your individual baby and whether they are happy with other people. Some babies are clingy while others are happy to be left with a few other people.

Just be aware you will leak even if you are expressing (and yes you can express that early if you want to) so be prepared for that.

It depends baby 1 physically I could but she fed all day and I mean all day! So if I couldn't take her I couldn't go. Dd2 was an early December baby and I went to a work lunch 10 days later. I did take her with me though as she was fed on demand and neither would take bottles. You won't know until much nearer the time probably the morning of to be honest. I wouldn't go if I couldn't take the baby though too much to organise and deal with.