To think I can attend a work do 3 weeks after baby is born?

[CarlottiJames]

We have a work do organised for 5 ish weeks after my due date. If baby comes late, that 5 turns in to 3. I've paid £60 for this event as has everyone else. It was booked well in advance before I even knew I was pregnant.

I desperately want to go, even if it's just for food for a couple of hours. I haven't had a baby before and don't know whether this is a naive thought? I could get my dad or mum to take baby out (it's a daytime thing) and she would be round the corner, but will be breastfeeding so not sure how I would work this out...

Any ideas? I'm fretting. It sounds silly because it's only a work do but it cost a lot of money and it's also important for me to keep in touch with the team etc.

AIBU to think this is doable? Am I worrying over nothing?

I went for a couple of hours to a Xmas party with new borns it was lush! Pumped some milk before and after.

It really depends on too many things to say at this point. My 3 yr old was a straightforward birth, I was home very quickly and she was fine. I physically had some continence issues from the birth which resolved by 4 weeks but in that time left me feeling pretty much housebound! I did have to leave the house for the school run but wasn’t very confident!
My last baby was born early summer and it was a nightmare! Delivery was fine but she had jaundice and struggled to put on weight. Both were breastfed and I’d have struggled to leave them at 3 or 5 weeks! In fact I found leaving the youngest at 10 weeks for 3 hours unbelievably tricky and stressful.

I had an assisted birth with ventouse, but physically I was fine by 2 weeks really. I'm not sure how I would have coped on an extended walk or standing for a long period (pelvic floor), but direct pain was non-existent.

See how you feel, though, because mentally you may not be up for much (not in my case either, but I never bf).

I and to a work do when dd was 3 weeks old. She came with me and I had a lovely time. But I had an incredibly easy birth, recovered very quickly and bf was well established. I was incredibly lucky. Not everyone is-so don't commit yourself. My sil was equally lucky and just didn't want to leave the house for 4 weeks. And a friend of mine was only just able to walk properly again at 3 weeks! As I said, don't commit yourself to anything.

You want be able to go without feeding a breastfed newborn for a few hours. However if you have someone who can bring baby to you for a feed half way through it will be fine.

@Ixnayonthehombre I'm thinking my mum will have to stay nearby in a coffee shop so I can pop out to feed baby if I need to. Can't see it being a big problem! I'll be in Nottingham city centre and my mum will be in her element!

I went to my work Christmas do when my DC seas 4 weeks old. I expressed a couple of bottles worth of milk and let my hair down for a couple of hours. I had a c section so took it easy but it was lovely to get out of the house and talk to adults!

*was

course you can do it, its a few hours in the daytime, if you can scope out venue in advance for breastfeeding facilities then do that to put your mind at rest, or maybe there is a place nearby, if as you say you can get a parent to mind the baby nearby then its a good idea as something fun to look forward to,

Depends on the birth and how your baby feeds.

Could be totally fine or might not be. See how you feel nearer the time.

Re bottle feeding, do most people find it ok to breastfeed and then occasionally bottle feed when needed?

I'm not booked in for any breastfeeding classes as they are all booked up in my area. I haven't a clue!

Or maybe that's another post entirely...

I did, 3 weeks after a section. It was a black tie / public event with tv cameras and generally a Big Deal. It was fine, but had to be planned with military precision on timing of feeding / sleeping and lots of help.
I suspect you'll know one way or the other after two weeks, so don't commit to anything concrete before then.

I drove my baby to a day hen do which was 40 miles away 2 weeks post c section but it wasn’t second my first I couldn’t have

Was my second

There is absolutely no chance I could have left any of my ebf babies for longer than an hour at three weeks. They were all mega-unpredictable cluster feeders.

I was so, so tired and didn’t put makeup on for months after number 1. I also didn’t have any clothes that fit.

Some people do it though. You could just wait and see.

I’ve declined a work do 3 weeks after my due date. This is 2nd time round and for me there is now way I could have attended after the first one. I had a straightforward birth with no complications but was still bleeding heavily at 3 weeks and very uncomfortable sitting, oh and in breastfeeding / easy clothes - not going out clothes. Plus baby cluster fed all evening and frankly just fed frequently and slowly - I’d have been seriously struggling to be away from him more than 2 hours day or evening.
I might pop in and let folks have a cuddle and drop off my secret Santa but I’m def not trying to stay.

I went to my old boss's wedding when DS1 was 5 weeks old - it was fine! He was on formula by then though.

That was the event where I said I really didn't like the thought of staying at home forever and a woman wrinkled her nose at me and said "Are you SURE you don't have postpartum depression?" 7 years later and nope, still fairly sure it was just a normal reaction to baby boredom

I'd go to the party if you can, op!

Your baby might take a bottle, but at 3 weeks there's no way I had time to express milk inbetween feeds and my supply was still being established.

If you're planning on breastfeeding I recommend the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, it's only 99p on Kindle and I found it so helpful!

You won't really know how you feel about going until the morning. It'll depend on the birth, the recovery, how your baby sleeps etcs. Wait until the day before and then see how you feel. I was out and about within days of having my son and I had a complicated birth, but that's me.

On the note of introducing a bottle, they recommend to not introduce a bottle for the first 6 weeks so hat you can establish breastfeeding. Have you booked onto any antenatal classes as they usually cover breastfeeding to a degree?

@catx1606 I tried to but they were all booked up when I tried to book on. That was at my 12 week appointment!

The £60 is already gone so don’t think about that. Now the cost you still have to spend is your time. Whether it will be enjoyable and informative or not depends on whether it’s worth the future cost of your time.

If you are not in a fit state to go and hate every minute of it, your £60 is still gone and you’ve spent your time unproductively.

See how it goes nearer the date.

At 3 weeks you’ll still be establishing breastfeeding, so if may not be possible to give bottles, even of expressed breast milk. My HV has told me to wait int 4 weeks to give a bottle of expressed, just to make sure DS is properly established on the breast

I know @ChasedByBees I am just so unbelievably skint at the moment and money is a real issue. Took a lot to agree to spending £60 on a meal and I would hate to waste it! I may feel differently at the time however as you are right, it is already gone.

I went to my team Christmas 'do' when DS1 was 3 weeks old. Yes, it was a bit tricky as he was clusterfeeding every evening and I was still sore from a c-section with complications. But I was determined to at least try and go for an hour or two - I could always go home if my partner rang me as it wasn;t too far away. It was fine, DS slept for most of the time I was out. I stayed for the meal bit then went home as everyone else headed to the pub, so I was there a couple of hours. I got told off by the other mothers on my team though, for phoning my partner to check on DS They (quite rightly) told me to stop stressing - DS would be fine for an hour, his father could deal with it just fine or could ring me, and to enjoy my food as I wouldn't be getting much chance to go out for a while!