To think I can attend a work do 3 weeks after baby is born?

[CarlottiJames]

We have a work do organised for 5 ish weeks after my due date. If baby comes late, that 5 turns in to 3. I've paid £60 for this event as has everyone else. It was booked well in advance before I even knew I was pregnant.

I desperately want to go, even if it's just for food for a couple of hours. I haven't had a baby before and don't know whether this is a naive thought? I could get my dad or mum to take baby out (it's a daytime thing) and she would be round the corner, but will be breastfeeding so not sure how I would work this out...

Any ideas? I'm fretting. It sounds silly because it's only a work do but it cost a lot of money and it's also important for me to keep in touch with the team etc.

AIBU to think this is doable? Am I worrying over nothing?

Haahhpy how do you know all that?

Everyone's different.

You'll want to snuggle at home with your tiny baby and you certainly won't want yo go out and leave her
Baarf that’s gag worthy,and not a universal feeling.its permissible to go out without baby
But it’s in keeping with the mummy martyr notion that mum has to have baby velcroed to her 24-7
Certainly won’t want to go out?why not?one can go out without their baby

I wanted to snuggle at home with my tiny baby-and I also wanted to go out with and without her. Without her was tricky- but I managed it sometimes. But with her-the world was our oyster!

You'll be able to go but you won't want to. You'll want to snuggle at home with your tiny baby and you certainly won't want yo go out and leave her
Where is the 'gag' emoji?

Please. please. please don't listen to those telling you you can't or the "oh I couldn't never ever leave junior for a second but I guess some people are 'different'' posters OP. Especially important is to not listen to the ones telling you you won't want to. Because, if you do, you don't need to be thinking you're doing something wrong.

Keep an open mind, realise that, chances are, you will be perfectly fine to go. Or you may not be. Or you may not want to.
You'll know more closer to the time. All the best OP.

If you want to go, paid for it. Then go! Jacqueline Arden nz pm went back to work, so can you! You’ve made great plans for your mum to have the new baby so if you feel like going then do. Similarly if you don’t feel up to it, that’s fine too. Decide on the day!

Well if it's just round the corner then yes why not ?

If it’s a straightforward birth then there is absolutely no reason why you can’t go. It may even be a really good thing to take a little time for yourself and give you a post baby lift. Enjoy x

I think you’re over thinking things. You’ll just need to play it by ear and make a decision that week

It depends on so many things:

• whether you’re breastfeeding. Obviously you plan to, but it doesn’t always work out
• whether you’re actually too exhausted
• whether you feel happy in reality leaving baby
• how comfortable you are, I was sore for weeks after

You might welcome the break and be fine

You really can’t make a decision until baby has arrived

I could have done so easily

#1 I was out and about with him at 6 days and DH and I went for dinner at 9 days
#2 I actually felt a bit worse as had an infection but 3 weeks would have been fine
#3 well by #3 you just get on with it because a 4 and 7 year old need to get to school / play dates / football etc. I certainly left the baby by 3 weeks to give my older ones some time with me

Bear in mind that you might need some new clothes maternity clothes don't necessarily fit but you are never-- not yet back to pre-pregnancy size.

Work would have been the last thing on my mind 3 weeks after birth!

I couldn’t have done it with my first but by 4 weeks I could have done although I’d have been very tired still. I think you have to be flexible and consider the birth you have, how feeding is going and when he or she eventually arrives.

A colleague's wife came to our Christmas dinner 3 days after giving birth. She did sit on a lot of cushions & popped out to feed after a couple of hours! I went to morning-long training session at work when my baby was 4 or 5 weeks old. I left her with her dad and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Everyone survived and I don't think she suffered any long term psychological damage.

Go and enjoy yourself if you feel up to it and let your mum have fun being a doting granny. The baby may be a bit grumpy on your return, but you will have had adult company and a chance to recharge your batteries.

Just as an aside I really appreciated the la leche league Nottingham support. You can go to meeting before baby is here for breastfeeding support www.laleche.org.uk/supportgroup/lll-nottingham-west-bridgford/

Honestly I think it will be the last thing you want to do once baby arrives.
You will be exhausted and probably won't be ready to leave your baby.
Good luck
X

With number one I was fine. DH went back to work early as was very busy and he didn't have to use paternity leave in one block, he had a work trip away and was worried about leaving us, in the end I felt so well we booked a hotel and I went too as we had friends in the city, this was less than 2 weeks after birth.
With number 2 I had weeks in hospital before and after, he had a spell in an incubator and we really struggled with breastfeeding (had no issues with no 1). Leaving the house for first 3 months was tough.
Don't overthink it, see how it goes, you have no idea how you'll be.

I was breastfeeding for 40 minutes until I got taught to feed for twenty (I did 10 minutes each side, but you can do just one). Dd actually fed better and put on weight. It transformed my life! She was basically falling asleep on the breast and not feeding, just sucking.

If you express some milk, which could be cup or spoon fed if you're not doing bottles, I reckon you could go, even for a couple of hours. You might feel too fat and tired to go though!

Strawberry why would you think that?

I don’t think you’ll know until you’ve actually had the baby and then seen how breastfeeding is going.

A friend of mine was up and about taking three day old twins to an event that included lunch.
Whereas I didn’t get out of hospital until day 12, spent the whole of the third week in floods of tears and was desperately trying to establish BFing which meant feeding baby every three hours, then topping up with expressed milk/formula from a bottle, then pumping for half an hour to try and get my milk to come in, then sterilising everything, then lying down for about 20 minutes before I had to feed the baby again and the whole cycle repeated. Going to a work social would have been as feasible as taking the baby on a trip to the moon...
I hope for your sake you get the experience my friend had, but please don’t plan too much as you just don’t know how it will go.

If you are exclusively breast feeding I think it will be difficult to go. Breastfeeding is pretty constant for the first three months in my experience, it’s difficult to find the time to shower let alone go out!
You probably won’t be worried about £60 once the baby is here

I don't think you'll know until the day. My son and I didn't leave hospital until about 3 weeks after the birth, and for a good two months after that I would have had trouble attending an event in my own home.

I tried to go to a hen do 8 weeks after giving birth. I expressed tons of milk left baby with husband in a hotel room. After an hour I had to go back baby wouldn’t take a bottle, wanted my boob. Was utterly stressful and if it hadn’t been my best friend I wouldn’t of bothered.

I’d say cancel it, you’ll have other opportunities to meet up with your team. Don’t put that pressure on yourself .

Good luck

Without repeating all the sensible advice already given to you, OP, I would say never be afraid to leave your baby now and then and most importantly, never feel guilty.

Short absences will make you a stronger and better mother.

My first baby is 2 weeks today and combi fed and id be fine to go to an event next week. However, I've had a straightforward birth and my baby wakes only twice a night. I guess it depends on so many variable factors, its hard to know in advance how you'll feel.

I had an EMCS & by 2 weeks after having my son was spending 2 mornings a week at hospital with my then DH learning the physio to enable him to learn to walk again (newly diagnosed with MS) You may decide by then that BF isn't for you or you might not have milk, wait & see how you feel nearer the time, nobody will think any the worse of you if you decide to not go.