To think I can attend a work do 3 weeks after baby is born?

[CarlottiJames]

We have a work do organised for 5 ish weeks after my due date. If baby comes late, that 5 turns in to 3. I've paid £60 for this event as has everyone else. It was booked well in advance before I even knew I was pregnant.

I desperately want to go, even if it's just for food for a couple of hours. I haven't had a baby before and don't know whether this is a naive thought? I could get my dad or mum to take baby out (it's a daytime thing) and she would be round the corner, but will be breastfeeding so not sure how I would work this out...

Any ideas? I'm fretting. It sounds silly because it's only a work do but it cost a lot of money and it's also important for me to keep in touch with the team etc.

AIBU to think this is doable? Am I worrying over nothing?

I attended a really important meeting 1 month after a CS. If you have a normal birth it will be even easier. If you're breastfeeding, either limit your time away to 3 hours or start preparing baby to take a bottle. You can get a very cheap pump called Haaka that suctions on and collects the extra milk that leaks from the side you're not currently nursing on. You can get enough for one or two feeds from that easily if you start once you come home from hospital.

I could have done it after both births neither of which was straightforward, the first with a episiotomy and PPH and second being a crash c-section under GA.

I was actually back at work six weeks after my first and with my second attended a long all day meeting after 6 weeks, nipping our to pump furiously.

It depends on how you heal and how you feel at the time.

I went to a 50th birthday party and an evening reception of a wedding when my son was a week old and breastfeeding. As people are saying completely depends on your birth x

If you are EBF and the baby is 3-5 weeks you could still be establishing breastfeeding which means they feed little and often for quite a long time. If feeding is established or you can express and baby will take a bottle or if you FF it is not an issue. You may be exhausted though from disturbed nights and recovering from the birth. You may equally not want to leave a newborn or you might be fine. Depends on how you feel really and you won't know that until the day.

If you cancel now will you get your £60 back?

If you are exclusively breast feeding I think it will be difficult to go. Breastfeeding is pretty constant for the first three months in my experience, it’s difficult to find the time to shower let alone go out!

Totally not my experience! And remember many women breastfeed when they already have an older child/children. This strikes me as really extreme and not what I or my BF friends went through.

I did it 4 weeks after my son was born, I drove to the venue, had a meal, stayed on soft drinks and left whilst everyone else went out after, I was out all of 3 hours and left ds who was bottle fed with my husband.

Easily doable, but I'd had an easy birth and was a lot more relaxed than with my first.

I left my baby for 2hours when she was 3 weeks old. You will be feeling like your having an outer body experience due to tiredness remember newborns tend to turn night into day but it was nice to get out

I did, and I had a c section. It was great fun to be doing something different. But I did ff so that made it easier.

Ds was born 11 November last year and I went to my works Christmas dinner on 8 December - so 4 weeks later. I had a traumatic birth and was still bleeding and there was 8 inches of snow on the ground but I was determined I was going! I bf but ds had had 2 of the little pre made aptimil bottles (one in hosp as I was in theatre having placenta removed) and one during a very rough night at home. He was cluster feeding by that point but I left dh armed with a good supply of the little bottles and he only took one! I left at about 6.45 and was home for 11pm. Having your mum nearby with baby sounds like a good plan if you don't want to give a bottle. Good luck!

I could have with both of mine and did (one was c-sec and one was a pretty traumatic birth also, I was in hospital for a week with DS1). I was breastfeeding but was lucky with my 1st as he went 4 hours in between by 3weeks old and my 2nd took bottles and breast easily. I felt fine by that point.

Saying that not everyone does so don't wrote it off but just be aware you may have to decide nearer the time. 5 weeks should not be an issue at all IMO.

Yes. You should go.

You’ll manage it OP, especially with your mum to help. She sounds brilliant! No harm in giving your baby a bottle just for that one afternoon, or nipping back and forwards to feed the baby. You’ll feel great for doing it, your colleagues will be super impressed that you’ve managed it and will be thrilled to see the baby. Even if you just manage an hour or so you should get to enjoy most of the food. Good luck!

I had my daughter baptised at 2 weeks old exactly and had a party at the house. This with 2 older siblings. And a husband with cancer. Do what you want. I was also up ironing school uniforms and hour after her birth. You and your body will tell you what to do. Some women make a huge fuss and others just get on. Asking on here you will get no realistic answer because I have found what ever you do some one on here always has to be a sick. Good luck with the birth x

If your baby will he just round the corner I see no reason even an emergency c section would stop you. I had 4th degree tear with 1st baby, and was out shopping with my mum for the day 4 days later. Two c sections and I was ok to be doing things within the week. Don't fret, just keep your plans open to change as you don't know what your priorities would be when the time comes... baby might be poorly or you might just not find you slept enough to want to go.

Well hopefully you can. However you don't know how you're going to be not just physically but emotionally,too. You might be like that Aww he/she's so tiny I can't leave them."
Also my mum had a natural birth with my sister and she was laid up for weeks. My dad had to do all the night feeds ect.
I had a c/section and was up and about after a few days, so You can't even say 'it depends on the type of birth you have.
Congratulations btw

Keep it flexible. With my first (emergency section) I wouldn't have felt like it. With my second (elective section) I went to a wedding two weeks after having my DD.

I went back to work full time when my sons were 8 weeks old, from 5 weeks onwards I did the odd day because they were short staffed and felt fine. At that stage it is a good idea to check what is in your wardrobe that will actually fit, I had a few weeks when I was not able to fit into my usual work clothes but swamped by my maternity stuff.

As PP have said, it will completely depend how the birth has gone. Also, whilst I hope that BF goes well for you, you can’t say with any guarantee that you will be feeding yourself. Obviously I hope it all works out but don’t have too many definite ideas about anything....
I would advise just leaving it to nearer the time to decide on anything.
Good luck with everything.

I think it is a case of waiting to see how you feel. I think I could have managed it after both of my sections. Don’t know what I would have worn tho!
Good luck x

Go after 3 weeks you will def want to feel like a human again not just a babies servent/milk dispenser. It's for a few hours, your baby cannot even see shapes in focus yet so they will not know you ever left! Physically you should be ok after 3 weeks, even with a c-section. Imagine if you had 2 or 3 kids already - you would still need to do the school run, the shopping etc after having such an operation so a few drinks should be no problem.

You can't know how you'll feel at the time, or what your baby will be like, but if you do go, you could take the baby in a sling or wrap, rather than a pram. It's not true that they don't know whether you're there or not; they know your voice and your smell and the feel of your arms even if they can't see your face, and some babies find it harder to cope with your absence than others. You may well find that you can breastfeed unobtrusively with the baby in a sling, or the baby may sleep through the whole thing; they feel very safe when they're carried.
At three weeks, you're still establishing your milk supply and it's not a particularly good idea to feed formula or introduce bottles so early; expressed milk is better for your supply and their gut, but bottles can still mess up their latch. I wouldn't worry about a one-off though, as long as baby was happy, so that could work too. Also, there's a big difference between 3 weeks and 5.
When my fb was 6 weeks old I went out to an unmissable gig with an old friend; we'd got the tickets before I was pregnant. I'm still glad I went (he's 26 now) and he was fine, but I spent the whole evening feeling like I'd had something amputated.
You'll only know what to do when you meet your baby.

Well, did you do it?