Maternity ward etiquette?

[greenfooted]

I suspect I am. On a maternity ward of four after c section two days ago. Baby opposite is a screamer. Has been doing so on and off all day . It's now 3 am. I have had no sleep. My baby wakes every time other baby screams. So is in my arms ( so I can't sleep). There are two of them with screaming baby. Aibu to think at some stage one of them should take it for a walk/ to the day room. I am on own as DH with our other kids so feeling pretty uncharitable and grumpy....even when DH was hear earlier this baby screamed through my earplugs...

I don’t know how anyone can be expected to rest and recover in a hospital environment.

But I do blame the environment rather than the parents or baby in this case because you have no idea of their particular circumstances.

Congratulations on your baby!

Hello, I'm awake because I have a newborn and was discharged from hospital 4 days ago and this is all fresh for me.

I think YA being a little U but I also sympathise. Other screaming babies are annoying on the ward when your own is quiet and you just want to rest. However it's a space you are sharing and the other moms cant help it when their brand new babies cry! Both my babies were the quiet type but the latest did have a few spells of crying when others were quiet and trust me I felt guilty. But remember the moms have also just given birth so they may have injuries or feel tender and tired and dont want to go for a walk.

I was ok but no way did I want to be forced out of bed and outside just because my baby was crying! Try to bear it, you'll be home soon!

Congratulations on your baby! I think in that situation you might be being a little unreasonable, but it's not a very pleasant place to try to recover. Hopefully you will be back home soon, I was in for 4 days and don't think I slept a wink until I got home, it's really tough. Hang in there and fingers crossed you are discharged today!

It's not ideal but you have to just get on with it.

They probably aren't allowed to walk around with them. At our local hospital they don't allow you to walk about with them in case of any accidents

I think YANBU and YABU. It’s just awful, but it’s also one of those things. Try to focus on knowing you’ll be home soon (or they will!).

Congrats on the baby!

You'll be home soon with your beautiful newborn.

Congratulations 🎉

It does sound awful, the last thing you need after a huge op like a c section. But at least you won’t be taking the screamer home!

To be honest in these situations the staff should be helping. After no other major surgery do we leave women with minimal pain relief, hand them a newborn and expect them to get on with it. Generally people who need to stay in after birth have complications which tend to limit mobility etc.

Congrats OP I think you are just going to have to grin and bear it. I had my babies in the 90's and I would not swap spending time on a hospital maternity ward today for anything. 20+ years on from when mine were born and I honestly believe nhs maternity after care for women and their newborns has gone backwards. There was a time when maternity wards were for resting and special time with your baby. When I had mine - babies slept in the nursery with a nursery nurse while you had a good nights sleep. Wishing you the best and speediest recovery so that you can get home to the comfort of you own bed and a bit of peace and quiet.

Not that it’s the fault of the screaming baby or its mother but that’s awful, how they expect women to recover from major surgery in that kind of environment is beyond me. I spent 4 hours on a ward like you’ve described after my section as I had to have obs and wait for DD’s baby check before we were allowed to be transferred to our room in a different wing; I would have gone insane if I’d had to stay. I hope you get home tomorrow and manage to get some rest. And congratulations on your new baby!

Congratulations on your new arrival 💐 I have 3DC and can honestly say that i had barely any sleep after their births whilst still in hospital. Every time mine were sleeping, someone elses was screaming or their Mother was snoring!! It drobw me insane!! I could have cried. I feel you're pain but in all honesty you just have to deal with it as best you can and fingers crossed you will be home soon, where you can get in to your own routine. Good luck!

I get you're tired but YABU.

Congratulations in your baby, hope you're home soon.

I was in exactly this situation last week (at times I was you, at other I was the one with screaming baby).

We weeent allowed to walk anywhere with the baby. H+S regs were that if the baby was going out of the room, it had to be pushed in its hospital cot.

Hope you get out soon OP.

Don't fret, you'll be home soon and the only crying baby will be your own.
Hope your husband looks after the older children well and let's you get some rest. x

Definitely not reasonable to expect them to keep a newborn quiet or expend energy hiding the newborn when the new mother needs to rest.

Be annoyed with the ridiculous room setup, not the parents struggling with a difficult newborn.

Where I had my baby (in the U.S.) they keep all the babies in a nursery and you phone them when you want the baby brought to you to feed or just to have the baby near you.

I shared a room for a few hours with another new mum and then was put into a private room as my insurance covered it. The other lady's baby was in the newborn nursery while she slept as well. I had a c section and was breast feeding. I would hate to have crying babies around me while I tried to recover from surgery.

The nurses were really good about bringing the baby as soon as I called btw. I used to push him around the maternity floor corridors in the nursery's bassinet to help myself recover from the surgery.

Don't they have newborn nurseries there?

Not since the 60s I believe.

Charolais - no newborn nurseries in UK hospitals (unless - I think - you go private somewhere like the Lindo Wing).

OP - can you pay for a private room? I did with both of mine. About £100/night and worth every penny.

God yes I remember that time, I had to stay overnight for both of mine and luckily managed to get a side room for the second dc.

I took ear plugs into hospital with me, and tbh was so exhausted that with the ear plugs in I slept through an awful lot.

The reason nurseries stopped is because research has shown that the best place for a baby to be for optimal brain development is with their mother. Whilst more demanding for the women, it really is the better option. Your baby has been with you for 9 months, why would they suddenly want to be with a stranger for a long period of time.

Can you not ask to go home if your c section was 2 days ago? I went home roughly 36 hours after my second Caesarian. I asked to go because I missed my toddler (idiot that I am. I was on a quiet ward and probably should have stayed put!)

I feel for you because I was in your position six weeks ago. I got 20 minutes sleep the night after my c section and felt beyond awful.

However, my newborn son was the 'screamer' on the ward and believe me I was doing everything I could to try and soothe him. I couldn't physically get up so taking him elsewhere was not an option. I found it stressful.

I do think YABU as it's the set-up that's the problem here. Four women and babies to a room with curtains between them is just barbaric.

Feel for you though and hope you get home asap.

If at all possible, get home. I had an EMCS with both of mine - first was a Saturday night, home by Monday lunchtime, second in the afternoon about 2pm, and was on the discharge list from 10am just had to wait for all the ducks to be in a row around paperwork.. finally gave in at 1pm and just got up and left (with someone chasing after me because it turns out the last piece of paperwork was an exercise sheet they wanted to go through with me) when my MIL had been waiting for us for a couple of hours, and I'd already missed DS1's playschool pickup which I'd wanted to do with his new little brother.

Back home was much better than trying to rest on a noisy, over-hot ward with one tiny, terrible shower (step up a foot, and squeeze between sliding doors, to have lukewarm water dribbled on you- not easy when you've just been pregnant and sliced open!) between 12 women.

My eldest screamed all night on night 2 .It makes me really sad to think about it as she was probably starving and I still thought at that point that newborns fed 2-3 hourly. None of the midwives or HCAs came over to check I was ok. I had already convinced myself that I had a difficult baby who was going to have colic!

2nd baby completely different experience. Fantastic post natal support. Private room on postnatal ward.