Maternity ward etiquette?

[greenfooted]

I suspect I am. On a maternity ward of four after c section two days ago. Baby opposite is a screamer. Has been doing so on and off all day . It's now 3 am. I have had no sleep. My baby wakes every time other baby screams. So is in my arms ( so I can't sleep). There are two of them with screaming baby. Aibu to think at some stage one of them should take it for a walk/ to the day room. I am on own as DH with our other kids so feeling pretty uncharitable and grumpy....even when DH was hear earlier this baby screamed through my earplugs...

Post natal wards are hell on earth. I was stabby with all of mine. Dd3 i had to stay in for 5 days because of the risk of stroke. It was unbearable.

There was a woman next me to in the postnatal ward and God her baby cried.

She also walked past each other when I was going for a shower and asked me if I was still pregnant different thread.

I'm not usually one to say this, but I'd definitely have put away the £100-odd to spend on a private room if I'd known.

I think YABU though I do sympathise .How do you know those women didn't have a c section and couldn't get up?

I paid for a private room after my csection . It was 625£ per night. Expensive yes but The midwives looked after dd in the nursery while I recovered. They brought her in for feeds

(That's on the basis of me only being in for one night like I was with DD, they're bloody expensive...)

£625? That must've been an amazing room haha!

Hospitals are awful! After my second baby I had a chest infection sonwas literally hoofing up a lung through the nights, I bet the people sharing thought I had pneumonia I was so bad, but there's little yo can do - are you going Home soon?

£625 makes mine look a bargain, £100 ish a night for privacy and an ensuite was amazing (though tbh if there had been an option to pay an extra £500 odd for them to look after baby in a nursery so I could sleep I 100% would have paid that).

YABU.
Agree that at least your not taking the screamer home.
I had a c section last year and all c section mom's are put together (I don't know if yours is the same) I couldn't walk properly for at least a week after my c section, it was more a painful shuffle.
How can you expect a woman 16 hours after surgery to be walking around with her baby is beyond me, especially as you've had your on c section so must know how bad it is.
Is it annoying? Yes.
I was in a ward with 3 other women, all post c sections, one screaming baby. They put the light on at one point (directly over my bed) and kept it on all night. The baby cried every 10 minutes making the other babies cry. It's shit but not for one second did I think a post surgery woman should have got up with her baby in the middle of the night.
I got no sleep and was discharged with paracetamol 24 hours after the surgery. Some of the nurses were unhelpful and refused to help "because your a mom, it's your job, not mine" was a lovely message I was told.
I understand your sleep deprived and in pain. But so are these other women and we should support each other, not get pissed off with each other.

YANBU but I feel sad for the women. My 2 were screamers and I tried everything in my power, post sections, to get them to stop. I had the crushing anxiety of disturbing the 3 other women around me even at the merest wimper to the extent that I got no rest at all

My daughter cried for 3 months with colic! I was in ten days and used to take her to the private room to settle and breastfeed. I would have been anxious on the ward which would have been rubbish for me, her and everyone else.

With my 1st, emergency csec, they put me in my own room to "recover" but that was just as bad as being on a ward as the buzzers from other mothers in their own rooms were going off all night long, and because the hospital was so short staffed it was incessisent. No sleep there (plus my baby was screamy, so that didn't help). Subsequent two elective c secs were on shared wards, everyone just had to get on with it (ignoring loudly snoring male partners, angry rude male partners, crying babies, etc). The midwives were great though, if you asked them theywould immeadiately come and take the baby for a walk/look after in the nurses room to give the mother a break.

I was in 5 nights after my first and it was hell. After the 3rd night the midwives took pity on me and found me a private room.
You'll be home soon

If the mum has had a c section, she might be catheterised still and unable to get out of bed? Or maybe she thinks it's better not to move the baby around, disturbing more people in the process?

It is grim though, I hear you. Hopefully you'll be home soon.

I am dreading this myself as am pregnant with my third (after a big gap) and will have a c section. A PP has mentioned that some hospitals have private rooms you can pay for. I looked into this at our local hospital (in the south east) and they are £450 per night! I could not believe it.

I had the same, everyone on my ward was nice and quiet until one young girl who was about 17/18 came to the ward at about 1am. She then left her newborn baby cry and cry and cry, when the nurse came in she said she needed sleep and couldn’t deal with it. She literally left the poor baby cryin for most of the night. Luckily didn’t wake my DD.....
When I was in hospital after having DS, totally different hospi5al the nurses kept coming in and turning the lights on. Not sure how they expected anyone to get rest.

Poor you OP. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and could imagine how annoyed I would probably be in this scenario. I don't understand 'ward' culture at all. I've had two babies in North East hospitals, and both times I've had my own private, en-suite room. Feel incredibly lucky about my own birth experiences.

The woman across from me after my c section slept next to her crying baby all night. He cried every 10-15 mins and she was just snoring away. She woke at 6am and was very excited that her baby had 'slept all night'. I could have punched her.

My second was sensitive to noise when first born. I had to stay in three days and she cried every time any of the curtains were opened on any of the beds, anytime another baby cried, anytime someone talked too loud. Bet that was fun for everyone else. I had terrible pregnancy sciatica that took weeks after the birth to leave I couldn't just pick her up and go for a wander with her I could barely get off the bed

YABU. Eldest was like this. I had a section after an extremely traumatic labour. Baby was screaming as she was hungry (severe tongue tie, unable to transfer milk), and very likely in pain following her difficult delivery, but we didn’t know at the time as no one helped us. I had immediate onset PND and spent the entire time on the ward either crying or trying not to cry, feeling the most desperate and awful I have ever done in my entire life.

The thought that others on the ward were silently cursing my poor baby for crying on top of everything else we were going through is not a nice one.

Postnatal wards are awful. No one sleeps. Just ask when you can go home.

Try and remember that everyone on that ward has their own set of circumstances and that they will all be dealing with their own difficulties. It's not as easy as saying a baby is a screamer and should be taken away for a while. What if the mother has also had a cesarean, or has pnd, or is struggling to walk, or is just so exhausted and doesn't know how to manage.

I've thankfully never been on a postnatal ward, but given that I've never managed to sleep in one of the private rooms, I wouldn't have held out much hope on the ward. Postnatal wards are not conducive to rest and recovery. I'll never forget the desperation (from my single room) at wanting to get home after not having slept a wink for 3 days and in the midst of that having given birth. I knew that once I was home things would be better and they were.

I hope you're not there for much longer and start to get some rest soon.

Still no sleep. Been awake since 1:12. Screamer has stopped but I'm cluster feeding. They also brought a new person onto the ward next to me at 2 am so lots of light and noise. Am hanging on for DH to get here after the school run.

So glad to hear everyone else has similar insane experiences.

To clarify a couple of things I am the only section on the ward, unit is full so no private beds available, and I wasn't meaning the mum to wall around with him - but the dad could have. He is currently snoring in a mattress - I can see his feet - having a fantasy about giving him my DS so I can get some shut eye !!!!

Midwife said she would be back in a minute four hours ago🤣...

Thank goodness this is my last baby !

I was on an 8 bed ward after birth and it was absolute hell. 3 babies were screamers and I have to admit I did lose it a bit. I’d been up for 50 hours by this point and so snapped (loudly) to my partner “I wish they would pick their babies up and comfort them instead of letting them scream”. Which did actually work. But I feel awful now.

The woman’s husband next to me also snored so horrifically loudly all night that I got up and asked her to wake him. Utterly ridiculous that we were all recovering from birth and he was keeping us up! It makes me fume thinking about it now.

Morgan12 I hear you!

Sounds tough, will you be able to go home soon?

I didn’t have this problem as I was on a special bay with the other parents whose babies were in NICU, so the babies weren’t there and most parents were often not there as they were by the incubators in NICU.

Oh my goodness, I know it's different and we're used to it our way, but if anyone tried to put my precious newborn in a nursery I'd have fought against it!

Last baby was unsettled at night and I felt so conscious and worried for the other mums. Thankfully I had a wonderful support team in the hospital (NHS) who showed me how to lay with baby on my stomach so we could both sleep, whilst they kept check on us. I am forever grateful to the midwifes and nurses who were absolutely fantastic.

This is bringing back awful memories! Had an EMCS and was in for a week with DD as I had (mild) sepsis. It was hell on earth - I’m very used to the crazy hospital environment, having been a nurse for 10 years, but Jesus it nearly broke me. All the same things you’ve mentioned OP. After 3 nights I was on my knees, begging for a room. Did manage to get one and it was so much better. We had to pay (although when it came to it the midwife wouldn’t take the payment as she didn’t agree with it!)