I'M BUSY

[Blue90]

I know a lot of people hate it when people say “I’m busy” or make a big thing of how booked up they are, but I’m not one of those people. I get so irritated when people ask me to do something that I don’t have the time be faffing with, and then they act like I’m being arsey/high maintenance when I say that I’m busy.

Here’s a recent example:
Mum: “Have you found a dress for X event yet?”
Me: “Yeah I have I just need to order from Debenhams”
Mum: “How much is delivery? It’s normally really expensive there. Why don’t you get the bus (40 min each way) into town to buy it”
Me: “No I’m going to order it, much easier, as I don’t have the time this week to go and get it from the store”
Mum:”It’ll only take a few hours, I can’t believe you’re THAT busy that you don’t have 2 hours spare.”

Que lots of other messages (e.g. “other people are far busier than you and they manage”) and comments in person about how busy I am, making a massive drama about the fact that I don’t want to get the bus into town and I’d rather order online. Basically turning something that I consider to be a non issue into an issue.

Does anyone else have conversations like this? When people just don’t get that you really do not have the time to do certain things, and make such a big deal out of it? I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall when I have conversations like this

AIBU to be really annoyed by conversations like this?
What do you do when you’re in a conversation like this?

The way I see it, time is precious and I would certainly rather pay a few pounds for delivery than spend two hours traipsing backwards and forwards! Next time someone says 'surely you have time'''' just start listing all the things, tirelessly, until they really wished they hadn't asked!

Agree with ladybee28 at the top of this thread.
I always ask, 'too busy doing what?'

But getting the bus would surely cost as much/more than the delivery? Plus a load of pointless wasted time.

I made some plans to meet up with some friends for lunch today and discuss Halloween plans. All but one of them cancelled on me at the last minute. So we sat in a empty coffee shop brainstorming ideas for a Halloween party.
Which is going well, we had a productive day throwing around ideas. But I was disappointed if I’m being totally honest with you guys about it. And I said so. Their excuses were lame (apologies in advance to any physically disabled people here). Why is it so hard to have basic manners?

"Mum - firstly delivery is free on orders over £50, which this dress and a pack of new pants comes to. Secondly you know I hate shopping. Thirdly I have to rush off because a small child is trying to set fire to the house. Love you, bye!"

That's what I'd do anyway. Though my mum isn't that annoying about shopping nor my time. About other matters when the bit is between her teeth, yes, but not those topics.

Their excuses were lame (apologies in advance to any physically disabled people here). Why is it so hard to have basic manners?

Irony klaxon, everybody duck!

Translation: "I don't care about this enough to make time".

No I just have other things to do or I am committed to something.

Also I'm pretty sure Beyoncé doesn't have to waste half of her day getting the bus into town for a dress to wear. It's easier to spend time doing other things if you have a cook, cleaner, nanny, shopper...

Personally with a dress I would rather try it on in a shop rather than spend hours trawling online then wait two or three days, find it is delivered when I am out so that means a trip to the post office only to find I don't like it.

I do click and collect to somewhere near my work (there are loads of clothes shops nearby work but they are too busy with tourists to shop there on my lunch break), try it on, if it doesn't fit, take it back to the shop.

I always ask, 'too busy doing what?'

Which is incredibly rude.

I always ask, 'too busy doing what?'

And id probably reply ‘how is that any of your business?’.

I'm not even particularly busy at the moment but I'd rather pay a few quid for delivery than go all the way into town. Why does she even care?

My brother would say something like this, mainly because he's largely unemployed and wants to believe that everyone has as much free time as him. So he absolutely insists I have time to do all kinds of things.

I hate when people describe themselves as "busy busy busy" or try to out busy others, but saying you are too busy to do something that is not a priority at all and can easily be fixed in a time saving way is not unreasonable at all.

I always ask, 'too busy doing what?'

Well for me it is being a single mum with no supoort to a nearly 3 year old while working full time in a stressful job that is an hours commute away, taking my energetic dog for walks when i can and trying to keep on top of the cooking, the cleaning, the life admin and very occasionally sitting down for a rest because honestly thats all i have the energy for before i go to bed at 9.30 and it starts all over again. So if i say I'm too busy and someone says "doing what" they can fuck off because no there isn't anything i could reprioritise so that i could waste 2 hours on a bus. I'm busy generally means I'm too tired and people see that just as much of an excuse.

too busy doing what?

Wow, how rude.

I'm amazed how many people seem to think that other people's time belongs to them.

I get to choose how I spend my time and prioritise my tasks. That's not something that needs your approval. You are not the Busy Police.

I just cringe when people say they're 'busy'. We're all busy - to me it means some one who is not particularly organised and is not effective at time management. When people say 'busy' as an excuse, it really doesn't put them in a good light.

I used to think that too. Until I started working with five children and started to study on a full time course that is done 90% from home. My time management is pretty great, it has to be to get studying done. There have been a few things recently that I haven't been able to do what people want me to do (like socialising) and it is not because I have crap time management.

It doesn't paint people in a good light when people can't accept that sometimes 'I am busy' is a valid excuse for not being able to do certain things.

The thing is, it often is a question of priorities. And getting a bus into town to buy a dress when I could get that same dress delivered to my house would be very low on my list of priorities. My time, my priorities, my decision to make.

In fact, for me at 7 months pregnant getting a bus into town to get a dress would be lower down on my priority list than sitting on my arse re reading all the Harry Potter books with a bar of Galaxy, while the postman delivers my dress 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not always possible to 'prioritise' on a daily basis! I have to be at my place of work five days a week. It's not that I'm prioritising that over an event someone else wants me to attend! It's that, on a larger scale, I've prioritised 'earning a living' over 'doing what I like when I like' - so my time is spoken for in advance. I can't pick and choose day by day.

OP, the way I think of it is time is money.

My hourly work rate is quite high - so it's much cheaper for me to pay £5 to get something delivered than to use up 2 hours of my time for the same result. Plus, I bet the bus fare into town isn't much more than the delivery charge.

OP I get you totally..My mum works 2 days a week and I work 5.I have 2 kids and a husband and a stack of after school clubs as well as a house to run as his lordship works 12 hr nights.He is either sleeping or working and our time together is so limited and precious on his day off we spend it together doing something lovely with the kids.Life is hard and fun but fast! Its not all about time management.I spend all the time catching myself coming backwards! Anything that makes life easier for not only me but us as a family is welcome here! The internet is a god send here! Some days, not always I admit ,it seems there is just not enough hours in the day! My mum cannot understand this,she makes all the right noises etc like blimey you need to rest you look exhausted,there is so much going on, but doesnt totally get it.She still cannot comprehend how things are done this day n age and she really doesnt get the internet benefits at all bless her, except when she wants to order something she has spent 3 days looking at online!!! Then I have to do it for her! Mind you better shes occupied doing that than ringing me 5 times in an hour to tell me about how Doris over the road is letting the street down with her mucky net curtains!Now that is something I will never apologise for having no time for!! What ever it takes to make life easier for you just do!

If you answer people with single words, Yes, No, Fine you tend not to get into this nonsense, the odd Because I don't want to also works fine, often followed by Because I don't. Stop having to explain yourself all the time!

I’m busy.

no you’re not, you just aren’t managyour time properly

By not getting the bus to town to pick up a dress that could be delivered cheaper ?

How is that having the wrong priorities?

What if you slogged all the way into wherever only to find that Debenams didn't have the dress in your size? Online shopping... yesssss!

I really don’t understand people thinking going on a shopping trip for a few hours should be a priority and online shopping and op isn’t managing their time properly. I’m literally seeing the opposite...